Is anybody else aching for these children?

Question

This story about over 400 children removed from the compound in Texas is just tearing me up. First the sexual abuse, forced marriages and now to the foster care system.

These children have been losing all around. I am devastated for them. What will the state do to accommodate its already over populated foster care system? how will they help all of these children on top of the children already in the system?

Any thoughts on this? What do you think is the best solution to this problem? Do you think adoption is the answer for these children? Are their mothers victims too? Do they have a right to leave with their children? What could a mother do to get back on her feet if leaving the compound with no experience in the "outside" world?

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/07/texas.ranch/index.html

Answer 1

The kids are not in the foster care system yet and are being kept with their mothers while the investigation continues. Yes, the mothers are victims as well as they probably went through what the children went through.  I think re education will be the best thing for the women and kids. Let them learn new ways to parent.  The kids are not totally shut out. They may not have TV or radios but they know of them.  And they women and children were seen some times in San Angelo and sometimes in Eldorado for shopping trips.(how I know this is I am from the area)  Lot of prayer is needed.

Answer 2

This is really sad situation and everyone involved is truely a victim. I definantly dont think any child should be taken away from the mothers unwilling and a mothers/womans home is proably a good idea.  This cult shouldnt be confused  with the true morman religion it claims to be affliated with and I think that any children put into foster care or adopted out should proably be adopted by Morman familys so that the child is not completly tramatized. The woman and children  have it deeply ingrained that the rest of the world is evil and for a child to be taken from it family and sent away to live with what they have been told is evil, is wrong.

Answer 3

The LDS church in and of itself is not a bad one.  They excommunicate the poligamists.  The church has enough money to step in and help the kids out.  Also, there are a lot of good foster parents out there.

Answer 4

I read a book a few years back called "Under the Banner of Heaven" it is about this fundamentalist group.

It's worth the read it gives great insight into who these people are.

I also agree completely with Angelcuddle, these people have spent the last 5 generations living like this, most of them don't know anything else, in essence they are all victims.

I think it's incredibly premature to discuss adoption for these children the govt hasn't even finished their investigation yet.

If a mother chose to leave she would have to leave with out the kids, the men wouldn't let her leave with them.

Answer 5

I've been wondering the same thing...I've done two adoptions through Texas and was shocked to find their system more screwy than my state.

They are already over burdened with Hurricane Katrina cases and now this.

Some of the mother's are victims too, brainwashed and disempowered.

The issue is, many of them didn't leave with their children, didn't try to protect their children...because many are victims and don't know what to do.

I would like to see a sort of mentoring program where families can stay intact with intense counseling and life skills classes.  Now that the perverts are away, the children are no longer in danger remaining with their moms.

Hopefully, some have family that will help.

I have always favored a foster care program that will foster teen moms and their babies (so be like a foster grandparent), where the mom and the baby live with the foster parent, finish high school and beyond if possible, all while being empowered and supported in their role as the parent.....I've only seen that successful a few times...sadly, the foster parent often winds up disempowering the mom and I've actually seen moms set up to fail because the foster parent assumes the role of parent and gets that entitlement thing going......

But I have seen it work with people who have already raised their children and are a little older.....it would be a good thing...I'd like to see that happen for some of these pregnant teens.

Answer 6

You know what, everyone has the same question as you.  What in the heck is the United States going to do about this?  What are we going to do about this?  Hopefully the right person has the best solution possible for these kids.  I say if it's 400 children.  Open up housing just for them and have psychologist, nurses and as many homemakers available to try to help them as much as possible.

Answer 7

It would be nice if sanctuary could be found for these women that would keep them with their children.  

It would be fantastic if "foster care" could be found that would supervise these moms with their kids, especially if that care could be found for them at some significant distance from each other and from the compound, preferably out of state!  Placing 1 mom and her bio children with a "normal" family, to be mentored into coping in the outside world would be an ideal situation.

We'd be willing to take one.

Answer 8

My heart breaks for them, as well as all abused chidlren.  In this case, I belive one ofthe best places for the mom and kids is a women's shelter.  There they can find out where resources are available aznd learn to live outside their cult.  In fact, many of these mothers were child brides of the cult as well.  Where possible, as always children should stay with their family, but supports must be given.

Answer 9

It is heart breaking!  This is the norm for this group, for over 50 years they have been marrying their girls off at 13.  How do you break that cycle/  How do you tell some one that some thing their family has done for generations is wrong?  These children are lost and confused.  They have been told we are evil.  I heard that when they ask some of the children the name of their mom, they give several names!  They don't even know who there real mom is!!

Answer 10

Horrible and tragic!  It makes my stomach turn.  I think these people have been thru enough tragedy every effort should be made to keep the women and children together.

I like the idea that Mommy2squeeze said, like a mentor-ship for the young women to learn how to be productive and interact with modern society.  I believe that would be the best option.  

Can't really say much more too upset.

Answer 11

Yes this breaks my heart.Their are many questions you have asked and i just don't know.Hopefully things will work out. :(

Answer 12

It is tragic for the mothers and the children.  I completely agree that every effort should be made to keep the families in tact as much as possible.  It makes a lot more sense to spend the money on helping the mothers and children build their lives in the "real" world, than it does just farming out the kids in all directions.  The mothers certainly are victims, too, and these famlies can be saved.  It's time we started looking at adoption without the rose-colored glasses on. Trying to find foster  homes for these children in an already overcrowded foster care system could literally destroy their lives.

Answer 13

this story is heartbreaking, indeed.  a good friend of mine is mormon, and is appalled by these developments.  he attends a small mormon church (not one associated with LDS) and have had protesters since this story broke.

regarding the children; i'm not quite sure what is the best approach.  although i'm not a huge fan of DHS services, i must say that texas is handling it as best as i think any state could. quite honestly, i think they all require a great deal of therapy (especially the young mothers) and constant intervention before released from the custody of the state.  i will tell you what should NOT happen:  these children in no way should be adopted by people outside of the church, right now.  

amazing (as stated by an earlier poster) people are already calling to adopt these kids... i mean d**n! grant it, the conditions are horrible, but does one actually think that taking them away from the only mother they've had will help them? some people will try to capitalize off of anyone's suffering.

my fear: hunger strikes, mass suicides and harming the children in the name of....

these men who perpetrated this act are the lowest scum of the earth...

Answer 14

Gershom,

    I have been waiting for you to comment on this!!!

I am equally upset and disturbed. They must be so frightened. I think the mother's are victims too. Six generations of programing does not unravel overnight.

   There is no right or wrong answers here....the government will need to come up with an entirely new plan to help these people. I do not think adopting this children out is the right thing to do. I would like to see the state and local governments, churches and civic organizations work their darnedest to keep the kids with their moms. I will tell you that I think if allegations are true everyone of these father's should lose their parental rights. It's common sense they could be a danger to their OWN children.

Might I add that there are sick people already salivating over the prospect of so many little white kids who may become available for adoption!!! And that equally disturbs me. I say try to keep the families intact.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out!

Answer 15

Heartbreaking story.  I've already seen people asking how they can adopt one of these children.  It makes me want to vomit.  The whole thing is a travesty, especially because it has been known about for quite some time.

Personally, I think the children should stay with their mothers.  If there's too much change all at once, they just might never recover from it, and I do believe that the mothers are just as much victims as they are.

It's a wonder that  LDS Social Services hasn't offered to "help".  They'd probably love to turn a quick buck adopting out all those nice white babies and children.

Answer 16

It is heartbreaking and, from what I have heard and read, very complicated.

Here is an interview I heard this morning with the head of the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services that is overseeing the care of the children:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story...

Apparently the children and many of the women are currently being kept together in historic army barracks. It sounds as if the state of Texas will not be rushing into anything permanent with these children. Certainly not adoption. And I'd have to say that is a relief.

I have no idea what would be best for these children. I think the boys and women as well as the girls are victims--because  they have been brainwashed, the girls into thinking they should submit to "spiritual marriage" (and physical intercourse) as soon as they reach puberty to men much older, and the women into the same thing when they were girls and into thinking this was okay for their kids, and the boys into thinking dominating girls and being dominated by elder men was the norm. All of their views of what is right and normal and acceptable have been dreadfully skewed by all of this, and for many generations (there was a raid 50 years ago as well).  I heard the 16 year old girl/mother who reported the abuse was told that if she went into the outside world her hair would be cut off and she would be forced to have s*x with lots of men (as opposed to being forced to have s*x with just one--reportedly she said her ribs were broken!). I have heard the same thing that many of the children do not know which woman is their mother. I believe this was intentional, part of the process of brainwashing the children into thinking that they were all one family and everyone outside was dangerous.

It is all just tragic! I really don't know what the best solution might be, but certainly not adoption to strangers. Somehow the children need to be kept with the women, because that is all any of them has ever known. In the interview I believe he said there will be DNA testing so they will find out which children should go with which mothers. I do think some sort of supportive care will be needed for these families -- none of them has the least idea how to live in contemporary society or  hold a job.

It is just all so complicated and tragic. Clearly we can't leave them there to be raped and forced into marriage. But removing and separating them would be terrifying. It sounds as if they are trying to keep them together for now, and probably together in some sort of family units later. I think that is the best that can be done.