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Is asking a pregnant woman if she wants to give up her child "socially acceptable" behavior?

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ERIN...although many answered the question denouncing the behavior, far too many on the board (and some interested in private adoption) find the behavior acceptable. hence, the rationale for my question, which i stand behind.

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  1. i would be mad if i was asked that.


  2. No woman let alone a pregnant woman should ever accept such  a vile, inappropriate, unacceptable, offensive conduct as such.

    Who in their right mind would do such a horrible thing to try and take a child away from it's mother, whilst she's still pregnant.

    Oh my goodness my blood is boiling.

  3. No, it's totally unacceptable, ignorant and nervy. Our world seems to view human beings as commodities these days. This has come a long way in my eyes as I have seen two worlds.

  4. Are you serious? I would call the police on them for trying to solicite.... or something to that affect.

  5. No it's horrible... But I'm ashamed to admit I've thought it a few times!

  6. No, of course not.  It's completely inappropriate to solict for adoption like this.

  7. Not appropriate..

  8. No.

  9. Sure, why not... And why not start asking Parents with more than 4 kids if they want to get rid of a couple.

    Hey, lets ask the Dugger family for a half dozen of their kids. Since she is pregnant with # 18, I am sure she won't miss them

  10. Wow, no it's not acceptable.  It's very weird and creepy.

  11. no, it's not

    and just because some of us believe that couple didn't mean any harm, doesn't mean we think it is.

    Just because I believe they weren't necessarily ASSUMING that she would want to give them her child, and just because I believe that they were simply trying to get the word out, not meaning any harm, doesn't mean I think it is okay.. It's not.. they need to know that.  

    and the lawyers who suggest these kinds of networking methods REALLY need to know that.

  12. NO, this sounds like soliciting.  you must want to get beat up by a pregnant woman?

  13. No it is never socially acceptable to ask someone to "give" up their child.  Only a person thinking about it, counselled properly etc. etc. etc. can make that decision, and from what I hear that doesn't always happen correctly in the states.  It would not be proper to even walk up to someone holding a puppy and ask them to give up their puppy.  PAP (yes I was one too) need to learn to go through proper channels, and yes wait.

    But Tish, I take exception to your comment about maternal love.  I have seen maternal love in action as a foster parent.  Yes there is a bond, but don't assume for us that adopting makes the children any less bonded to us because we didn't carry them in our womb.  My children were carried in their womb by their original mother, and then she abused and neglected them.  I as a foster parent saw so much of this maternal issues that I gag when I hear how important that bond is.  

    For families where there is no abuse, neglect etc. yes the bond is important, but if the child is not wanted by the parents, the child is better off in a family where they will be loved and a great bond can be formed.  

    But no, no one has the right ever to walk up and ask for your child.  Ick.

  14. That is inapropriate.

  15. No, not socially acceptable in any way, shape or form. But, encouraged in private, attorney or facilitator-led adoptions. I'm sure it's practiced by the same people who post on here looking for "situations" and don't understand why others get so upset.

    More than a little frightening that there are actually people who don't understand why this would be insulting or offensive to someone. How could a pregnant woman not take it personally? They've got to be left with the "What is it about me that says I wouldn't want or couldn't afford my baby?"

  16. no it's not. So far the ones that wrote those answers are not defending themselves. maybe it's because they now see that maybe they should of choosen their words wisely. when it comes down to it, that couple was desperate for a baby, and this has clouded their judgement.  they just weren't thinking that a card left to a pregrant woman could offend someone. I hope they learn from this and if they want to adopt, do it by legal means.

  17. No, it is not acceptable at all.   I've heard reports from expectant mothers being approached in shopping malls and other public places by women propositioning them for their baby.

    What's the deal with this?  I've actually seen a woman almost salivating when they heard a work colleague's daughter was pregnant - her first question was "I want first dibs to adopt the baby, put in a good word for me"  I nearly hurled.  There was never any mention of adoption, it was just assumed!

  18. The only way it would be acceptable is if, the pregnant woman was wearing a T-shirt saying "Please adopt my kid". I don't think that is ever going to happen.

  19. definitely not acceptable

  20. No. Pregnant women will never accept that behavior as acceptable. Its a slap in the face for someone to assume that you don't want to love and cherish YOUR child and be the parent that you are meant to be.

  21. No its not.  I do not support this behavior at all.

  22. Let me put it this way...

    I got impatient with my husband last night....because I set down the piece of pizza that I was eating to take a sip of water and he asked me if I wasn't going to finish it could he have it.

    While I was pregnant, I freqently left my wedding ring in my jewelry box because my fingers swelled unmercifully.  I would have exploded like a hormonal atom bomb on anyone who asked me if they could have my baby!  And if I'd had the sense in the moment, I would have called the police.

  23. I found the entire story disturbing. Especially the advice where the attorney suggested it is is easier if they could find their "own birthmother"!!!

    Ironically it is illegal to solicit for s*x in the US but soliciting for a baby is acceptable....WTF?

    ETA  Laurel J :

    "It's like walking up to a woman wearing a wedding ring and asking her to let you know if she ever plans to divorce her husband so you can have him."

                    ---- LM@O!!!!

  24. There is nothing wrong with it. Have you seen how many women give up there kids and talk about it. Not just on this site, but in alot of sites. Chat rooms, ect. Women have been giving their children up for years we hear about it alot now though. I don't think their is anything wrong with it. No one wants to take care of their kids now a days...

  25. I would have freaked out if someone had come up to me when I was pg & asked that...

    I do know of someone who was pg with her 3rd child...a neighbor of theirs who couldn't have kids of their own, actually asked her if she would allow them to adopt that baby...seeing she didn't have any problem conceiving...and could easily have another...of course she said no...

  26. It is NEVER appropriate to do that- I am adopted and also have 2 adopted children, and I would have never asked a pregnant woman that question- unless they personally told me they were considering adoption first.  I use to counsel women in crisis pregnancies and they would be considering abortion, then and only then would I suggest considering adoption-

  27. Rudeness is never acceptable.

  28. That's shocking!  That takes some audacity and extreme rudeness to ask a question like that.  What kind of freak asks that?  Might as well say "hello, I noticed you're a breeder, are you interested in human trafficking?"  

    So no, I don't think it's acceptable behavior.  God, I hope that's not a trend.

  29. Miss Manners would be having a cow! It's just plain rude!

    **See my answer to the previous question for other thoughts on this! I loved your answer, Tish! As always you rocked it out!

  30. no
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