Is being esl a big obstacle to befriend foreigners?

Question

I am originally from Poland and been in the U.S for 4 years. Being English is getting better, but still may have not understand 100% with a fast talking (for ex, when I watch entourage series without subtitles). Everytime I make friends, I am like "fith wheel". People seem to be indifferent most of the time. When I met a "best friend" on campus dorms, I had to come to his room to have fun, and be glad (maybe) I am there, but he would never want to come to my room (except once when he was drunk) and he has always ingored my emails. Now it's summer, we are both at parent's homes, 80 miles away. Nothing has happened over the summer, except that I emailed how's summer is going, and he replied is going well but not ready to school.

Could my problem be also with stereoptypes people have about Poles. I live in chicago so there is a lof of us. More than 50% of Polonia voted for a government party, where in Poland most of the Poles especially from western more developed, liberal, and secular placec voted against. Last year some girl asked me to tell how is I love you in Polish, which is "kocham cie". She commented it does not sound too pretty, a lot of hissing sound with k and h. There is a synonym better for that "milowac" but it is rarely used. Could that that my accent from native language set my voice tone so that my English does not sound too pleasant. Maybe thats a little problem? What are your thoughts? Thanks

P.S from what I heard english is more of using different tones like on wave, while Polish is more flat.

Answer 1

Yes, I think so.  The United States is a very isolated country; it has only one non-English-speaking neighbor, so many Americans have not had much practice communicating with an ESL speaker.  This does not mean that they dislike you, just that they have no practice doing it and find it difficult.  Some people find it so difficult that they will not make much of an effort - which is probably why you feel like a "fifth wheel".  

I'm sure that in Poland this was different - in Europe people are much more likely to have friends that don't speak their language, since the countries are smaller and travel is cheap.  For many of the English speakers you meet in Chicago, the experience of being friends "across a language barrier" will be new, and may be intimidating.  

I suggest that you join some groups at your school - there are lots of clubs and organizations that will give you a chance to get to know people who have similar interests to you.  It's easier to have a conversation about "saving the whales!" than about nothing at all, and you will already have something in common with the people there.  Once people get to know you better, and get more practice talking with you, language will stop being such a big issue.

If that doesn't work, make friends with linguistics student.  They'll like you right away :).  

Answer 2

when the right person comes you will  know. Until look pretty and be yourself. Nothing else matters.