Is cheating on your partner that bad?????

Question

I'm a 22 year old woman with no kids...i got married when i was 18 years old and my husband was the only guy i have ever been sexually involved until last week...i met up with an old flame and we had amazing s*x... and has made me realise what I'm missing out...i don't wanna hurt my husband and leaving him is out of question as I'm toooooo grateful for what he has done for me. i just wanna spice up my s*x life outside my marital bed...am i being a s**t? i have tried all sort of position with my husband but frankly i have fallen out of love and when we talk about splitting...he refuses and makes me feel guilty by saying how i have and will **** up his life...i dunno wot to do

Answer 1

two things, you have already done it and you dont love him. its time to go, if he thinks you leaving is going to mess up his life wait till he finds out you have cheated on him and he will, you will start using friends as excuses for secret meetings and lying and making mistakes, you will say you were somewhere you were not, friends will abandon you for using them. do him one last decent act, leave and never tell him what you have done. SOURCE -: experience

Answer 2

put yourself in your husbands shoes. just for a moment.what you want?

You need to be honest to yourself more than anything. You know the answer just have the courage to do what you know is right

Answer 3

You know what you're doing. You just can't have both being married. Get a divorce and go single and have fun. Your not ready for marriage yet. Your problem is solved and as for old flames...I have allot of them, but they burn on ethanol.  

Answer 4

You are a liar and a cheat. Do those sound better to you than s**t?

Answer 5

First of all, you're gross, and a really awful wife.  He deserves better than that.  YES cheating is that bad.  Are you crazy?  You don't get married so you can go sleep with someone else!  If you're not willing to forsake all others (which you promised to do, by the way), then tell him you intend to continue to act like a s***k, and you need to let him go so he can find someone worth his time.  Yeah, I know it's a mean answer, but I think you deserve mean right now.

Answer 6

Are you freakin' kidding me?...c'mon girl...you know this is wrong !!.....just remember....what goes around, comes around

Answer 7

Don't listen to people calling you a ho. You probably got married way too early..

Answer 8

Do you really have to ask that question? how would you feel if your husband hooked up with an old flame and had great s*x? maybe you should tell him what you did so he can... your attitude pisses me off...you are the type of person that thinks you can have everything you want without any consequences... there are consequences, he will find out. not if, when.. the truth always comes out.. I hope he throws you butt out on the street, you try to go back to your flame and he kicks your butt out also.. who is going to trust you? you cannot even trust your self..

Answer 9

Your not a good wife. I was married when I was 18 and I am 22 also! I love my husband no matter what ex called I would never disrespect my husband like that!

Answer 10

YES IT IS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Answer 11

I would leave.  Your only cheating yourself.

Answer 12

Your not a good wife.  

Being with this old flame was so good, because your head was full of lust, and the excitment and guilt of cheating.

Your husband deserves better.  IF he's a good man, let someone more deserving have him.  And go on your hoeing ways!!

Answer 13

If you don't love him and don't want to carry on the relationship with him then leave him, don't keep cheating on him. Thats lower than low, at least be honest with him.

Otherwise grow up and start being faithful.

Answer 14

Well you definitely can't go on like this. What's the point in being married/with your husband if your going to cheat on him and be miserable the rest of your life? You can't stay with him because you feel obliged to- that will ruin your life!

Your going to have to make some decisions- cheating on him is going to hurt him a lot more than divorcing him will. Atleast then you will be free to live your life and settle down when you're ready to settle down!

Good luck.

Answer 15

you need to do your a husband a favor and file for divorce!  You are not ready for marriage!  Spicing up your s*x life with your husband should not include taking on an affair.  I can't imagine how that would spice things up. It sounds like you have already left the marriage.  Just let your husband know you are having s*x with an old flame, if he has any self-respect he will leave you so fast you'll head will spin!  Remember carma is a *****...you'll get what's coming to you sooner or later.  

Answer 16

if you were truely grateful for what your husband has done for you , then you wouldnt be having "amazing s*x" behind his baxk would you?! sort yourself out

Answer 17

Sorry to hear of your situation.

It sounds like you have 2 problems.

You need to ask yourself at 22 whether or not you want to stay with your husband, i realise you dont want to hurt him, but at the same time you dont want to waste your or his life living a lie. At 22 you can easily move on and both be happy with someone else. Dont stay together because you feel you have to, in the end you will find yourself being 40 or 50 and wish you could turn back the clock.

On the s*x side, if you do want to stay with your husband and you think you can make it work and the s*x isnt doing it for you then sometimes having an affair saves a marriage.

A good example of this is when one of the partners is disabled and the other still has their urges.

I cant say yes you should go behind your partners back, or no you shouldnt. Just be warned if you do, dont do it with someone close to you both or a friend as this is almost certain to comeout. I know ive been there.

If you do want to split you have to be strong, yes he will be upset and yes he will probably hound you. But in the long run he will be better off, and so will you.

We have all had our hearts broken when a relationship breaks down but we all move on and in the end a new special person lights up our life.

Good luck.

Answer 18

Well how would you feel , it is bad it's a sin so yes it's bad. And you don't want to hurt him but it will.

Answer 19

Yeah, what you're doing is terrible. You need to make a hard decision and hope that if you choose to stay with your husband that your infidelity doesn't destroy your marriage. Good luck.

Answer 20

well in short yes we all know cheating is wrong..

I know what you mean though I have been tempted as I've been with the same guy for 8 years and he is the only one I've slept with.. sometimes it gets mundane and I wonder what s*x would be like with someone else?  we have both had 1 drunken kiss with other people at different times throughout the 8 years and omg we both felt so guilty it was horrible and I found it hard to live with myself.

But then I remember I love him too much on every other level to ruin what I have just for s*x and that we just need to make more effort to keep things exciting..

I think you need to ask yourself, do you feel guilty and can you live with yourself? If you don't feel guilty you probably don't really love him anymore and should get divorced as it WILL be easier in the long run rather than staying miserable and it getting more miserable..