Is covering up/minimizing accidents,fighting and abuse business as usual at a childcare center?

Question

My daughter has two fingernail scratch marks on her cheek by her ear. I asked one of the workers what happened and she said "I don't know." I pressed for more info and said to her "the children fight don't they?" She said "yeah they'll scratch and hit when another child invades their personal space or trys to take a toy away." Then she said "We didn't see it happen and she [my daughter] didn't cry about it, but we washed it with soap and water.

The scratch was pretty deep and I don't believe that my daughter did not cry about it. I took a couple of pictures of the scratch and have a picture of another accident in which my daughter could have lost her front teeth!

I want to remove my daughter from that daycare tomorrow bc I caught a worker emotionally abusing my child almost two months ago. I agreed to a conference, which I should not have done. The worker was disrespectful and condescending toward me. She lied and the other worker who witnessed it covered for her. The supervisor was quick to cover for the worker in question.

This is one of the best daycare facilities in my state! For those of you who would tell me that I am only giving one daycare as an example:

I was told by a worker of another facility how her job was great and how her and her coworkers all "covered each other's a$$es."

I heard this two weeks after I walked in on my daughter being emotionally abused! I am seriously considering taking my daughter out of full-time care and staying at home with her until she is a Preschooler. At least at that age, she can tell me if someone is abusing her.

What would you do if you were in my situation? Have you dealth with this before? I think I am going to speak to the director and report this worker and the facility to the state. (After I remove my daughter)

Answer 1

This is not meant to pressure you at all--but if you can stay home, you should, imo. You will never, ever be sure of what is happening to your daughter when she is not in your care, and she needs you to protect her. The next best option is a family member, like grandma. At a daycare, your child is a number, not a person, and there is just no way that she is getting the love and care she would get if she were with you. If you can, please consider it. I am home with my kids, and it was a hard decision, and has involved some sacrifice--my children don't have every new toy that comes out, or tons of brand name clothes each season change...but they are with me all the time and I know they are cared for and loved--and being raised by me. Best of luck with your journey--childhood is over all too soon!

Answer 2

I have worked at a couple daycares and honestly the last one I worked at was just like that.  I had the problem that my son was biting another child and since I worked there they would call me in to have me discipline him.  For a while I was doing just that but then I was wondering why my child who had never bitten before was biting so much and biting only one child.  I found out that he was biting her because the daycare workers were allowing the girl to take toys away from my child.  I had heard from another worker that my son would pick up a toy and the girl would go take it from him so he would move on to another toy and she would do this again.  The workers did nothing and so after about a half hour my son would bite the girl so she would leave him alone.  When I found this out I told them that I would not discipline my son for them not doing their jobs and stepping in to help.  I didn't fit in very well.

I would take your child out as fast as possible and call the state to report them.  The first daycare I worked at was great for the most part, but honestly they all have their problems.  I don't know what state you are in but you could try to find someone you trust to watch your child or you can find an in home daycare that doesn't take in too many kids.  It is so hard to trust anyone with your kids these days!  Good Luck.

Answer 3

Some really are. When I was in college I had volunteered at a school daycare (it was a elementary one), and OMG, the educators were so incredibility negligent wit the kids. There was three educators that were talking to themselves, while I had to stop several fights and stop kids from eating paste. My brothers were still in elementary school and my mother wanted to put my youngest brother there (he's nearly 15 years younger than me!) , I was like "NO Way!". I told my mom the reasons, let's just say he didn't go there!

Of course all three women were somehow related. I am sorry to hear that your daughter got hurt.

There is some good daycares, I worked in an excellent one run by a college. The one that I am sending my son to is near work and I can visit him whenever I want. I live in Quebec, so the way that the daycares are monitored slightly different than yours. Ours is run by the government, so if I was to have a problem with them, I would run it by them and call them up. Not to say here the system is perfect, but it works to send complaints.

There is no way unless it is recommended by a friend to know which is a better daycare, but check out their policies. If they invite parents to check up on their kids morechancess than not, it's a decent one, because they feel they have nothing to hide.

I think you ought to report it to the state and the pictures you took are proof of it.Honestly, I would have taken my child out after the last incident (them justifying the yelling at your daughter) because it gave an indication that the children's welfare is the bottom line or the satisfaction of the parent- it's their best interest.But there was no way to know that it would have gone to this point.

You have to talk to the direction and tell her that this was the last straw, the last time you gave the daycare the benefit of the doubt, but now it's clear that you cannot trust them with your daugther.

I worked at daycares, and yes kids will play rough and sometimes kids get bitten, but not to know how it happen or giving you vague answers, I don't know that sounds fishy to me. I knew what happen and the incidents were few and far between. Either one of them (the educators) are responsible for the scratches or playing favorites with one of the kids or is palying the dummy to get "even" with you. Either case, the best thing is for your daughter to leave.

I hope everything will go well and I pray that you will get a spot at a good daycare.

Answer 4

If nothing else change daycare centers. There are tons of centers out there, you shouldn't feel like you need to stay at one just to wait and see what happens. What IF something bad DOES happen? These places have insurance and liability to cover them (no big lawsuit settlement for moms...you will be lucky if they even cover the medical bills of something like that) of which you probably signed in some agreement form ages ago.  If they didn't have their butts covered you would hear about more moms getting huge settlement checks. I know seeing your daughters scratches and teeth was scary, but some kids end up with broken bones and stitches and those parents are still having to pay for the bill to the hospital! Remove her from that center and find one with a better child-to-caregiver ratio. If you can afford to take her out full time I am all for your decision!! (You can do it!)

What's going on probably isn't "child abuse" under the standard meaning of the word, it's probably more along the lines of "neglect" (They do not mean the same thing. Abuse is done on purpose and intended to hurt the child, neglect is more like not paying attention to a more extreme sense of the word). They are probably not keeping as close an eye on your daughter as you think she deserves. Meeting or not, they may feel like they don't need to, after all they are just doing your job and your daughter "didn't break any bones or anything...these things happen".  

Answer 5

I'm a stay at home mom now but my oldest son went to daycare and they filled out incident reports for everything and it all seemed pretty legit. Staying at home is a great option if you can do it financially. If not you need to look into other daycare options and make sure you get references from parents who still go there.  

Answer 6

Ive never been in the sit. But, I'm so paranoid anyway that I refuse to take my son to daycare. I was going to quit my job to stay home, but my mother in law agreed to watch him. If you can financially afford it, I would stay home. Or, try to switch jobs to work at a different time if the daddy can watch your little one.  

Answer 7

i have been there.

my son has been to 3 nurseries.

the first one was ok, but too far from where i worked.

i had one recommended to me. it was awful. they had new staff every week, the kids were yelled at for playing with toys in the yard

his food diary one day said "sponge cake" for lunch and "fruit cake" for tea. my son does not like cake!

they give the kids 1/4 slice of toast for breakfast...

they tried to force him to use a sippy cup. (he would not, so got dehydrated)

the sippy they sent him home with had black mould in the spout, and it wasn't our cup. he didn't have a sippy

he got bitten a couple of times as nobody was watching the kids

he had his hair trodden on when he was laying on the floor

nobody could tell us how he lost the corner of his tooth!

change your nursery. visit other nurseries in your area and speak to parents in the carpark. ask if they are happy. are the kids happy?

yes, they need reporting.

keep a log of as many incidents as you can remeber