Is domestic violence *in America* actually equal between the sexes?

Question

I see this topic coming up here and there and I really want one definitive, credible answer w/source. I'm tired of the confusion, and I don't want a link to a crappy home-made website with biased figures. I am not concerned with whats going on in a 3rd world nation that is obviously socially underdeveloped and in need of reform. Violence against women is only one of many problems in repressed countries where a starving child can lose his hand for stealing bread. I am discussing DV in America only, and I want to know whether or not DV against men is a concern on relatively equal par with DV against women in America. I also want to know what is being done to offer support (shelter/therapy) to both male and female victims.

Answer 1

First of all, we need to find out the source of any "stats" we use and to see if someone has something to gain from those stats.  This being said, the most reliable stats are from unbiased sources or those who have nothing to gain by what they show.  Here are a few of them:

SUMMARY:  This bibliography examines 219 scholarly investigations: 170 empirical studies and 49 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners.  The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 221,300.

http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.h...

Men Shouldn't Be Overlooked as Victims of Partner Violence

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). and the lead investigator was Daniel Whitaker, Ph.D., a behavioral scientist and team leader at the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control (which is part of the CDC) it is a bit higher then that:

Regarding perpetration of violence, more women than men (25 percent versus 11 percent) were responsible. In fact, 71 percent of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were women. This finding surprised Whitaker and his colleagues, they admitted in their study report

http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/conte...

Did you get that?  "71 percent of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were women. "

This shows why some stats can not be trusted:

http://shatterdmen.com/Gathering%20Stats...

Some say that women can not abuse men because they are stronger.  Tell that to one of my members in Shattered Men who is blind because of his ex.  Tell it to Scott Thomas who is presently in a very similar state as was Terri Schiavo except there is VERY strong reason to believe Scott was a victim of domestic violence.  

"Eliza Smith, 29, a Polish immigrant who came to the U.S. illegally, says Scott fell backwards over the family dog and struck his head in the kitchen. She was not in the room, she adds.

Scott's mother reports her son communicating to her that his injury – a blow so hard it knocked his brain to one side – was intentionally inflicted by his wife. "The doctors say that his injuries are not consistent with such a fall and believe the severe head trauma was caused by a blow to the head," Patton told Empire Journal. "  Why  have we not heard about this when the world knew about Terry?

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/articl...

As for help, women have well over 2,000 shelters they can go to while men have perhaps 4 or 5 now.  Women have the Violence Against Women Act which allows a lot of perks for being a victim and it actually encourages the false accusation of abuse in order to gain leverage in a divorce.  Presently, one out of five divorces does involve the false accusation of abuse.  

http://shatterdmen.com/VAWA%20too.htm

Why is it important to know the truth about domestic violence?  If we do not look at both sides and address both sides, we will not only fail to resolve the problem, but we will make it worse.   There is seldom a conflict between two adults where both do not add to the problem but the VAWA prohibits doing anything but accepting a woman's allegation of abuse as gospel.  It does not matter if she was beating him to a pulp for no reason, if he hits her back, then he is at fault.  It has happened many times.  In my own area, a fireman was walking down the street when an unknown woman came up to him accused him of vandalizing her car and started beating on him.  He grabbed her arm to keep her from hitting him and left a bruise on it.  He was arrested, she was not.  The authorities had to accept her word for it because of the VAWA.  (Some areas may be a bit more enlightened then this and will not automatically arrest men simply because the VAWA does encourage it.)

As the founder of Shattered Men, we have been helping both men and women since 1999 and many marriages have been saved because we feel the real solution is found here:

http://shatterdmen.com/first_step.htm

Edit:  for Mo

- hospital emergency room records

I work in a hospital and I have had several tell me that ER reports are not always accurate in this area.  I have had some men tell me that when they reported being assaulted by a woman, this was not listed on the report but instead they it was reported as a bar room fight or something. I have also had women tell me that when they had an accidental injury, the ER insisted it was domestic violence.

- police reports

Many times the police will not arrest a woman for domestic violence. It even happened with my own son when he had a bruise from being hit with a broom handle.  The police did admit however that had she had the same bruise, he would have been arrested.

- court documents

I have actually had replies from several state attorney generals that have stated they would not prosecute a woman for domestic violence.  Former Massachusetts Bar Association President Elaine Epstein stated, "It has become essentially impossible to effectively represent a man against whom any allegation of domestic violence has been made."

The other reports you mentioned also follow this "politically correct" mindset.

Answer 2

ALL evidence (statistics and police reports) prove that dv is a crime against women.  this information is readily available if you're really interested.  dv exists in homosexual relationships as well which is contributing to a rise in the number of women as the abusers.

Answer 3

I don't have any sources whatsoever, but I do have a response.  Logically, DV against men is not as big of a problem as DV against women, since men are stronger and more capable of defending themselves.  If a man goes all apesh*t on a woman, she doesn't really stand much of a chance, other than to curl up in a ball and hope he stops.  But if the situation is reversed, the man can probably stop the woman easily...and even if he doesn't stop her, he's less likely to sustain serious injury because:

1.  Women don't generally hit as hard

2.  Men can take more punishment than women

Still, despite this, domestic violence against men definitely shouldn't go ignored, and men should be encouraged to bring cases like this forward rather than being ashamed of being "beaten by a woman".  There's no shame in that whatsoever, the only shame is letting her go unpunished (by a court of law).  

And FYI, beware of any "credible sources" that get posted.  Most of them aren't credible at all...they have some sort of slant to them.

ETA:

@  ! Answers

What I'm saying isn't sexist, it's just logical.  A man can do more damage than a woman can, thus DV against men isn't as big of a problem.  And yes, women can and do use weapons, but then again, so do men...so I don't really get what you're saying here.  As another answerer stated, women are less likely to use physically violent types of abuse.  They're more likely to abuse emotionally than physically, by engaging in passive-aggressive behaviors, manipulation, and other methods...which is still wrong, but it's not "domestic violence".  And my comment that he should "beware of credible sources" is legitimate advice.  If someone posts a link from a feminist website, or an MRA website, then it's obvious that the site is highly biased and can't be trusted.  Any website that has any agenda other than finding the truth cannot be considered a credible source.

Answer 4

No, its not.  Yes women do assault men- but at no where near the rate that men assault their intimate partners.    Proportionally its 85% women and 15% male victims.  

US Department of Justice website:   Bookmark it and go back to it every once in a while.  There is a lot there for a simple peruse.  This is raw data in tabular form.  

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/abstract/fv...      

Second source: is the Family Violence Prevention Fund.  They are as they state against all types of family violence- including child abuse.    I think they are a credible organization.   They put out fact sheets and cite real statistics to back up their assertions.   Its a good website.   This is one of their pages, with links.

http://endabuse.org/resources/facts/

Let me know if this is what you were looking for.

Answer 5

Because men seldom report DV (and are sometimes not taken seriously) it's hard to get a grasp on the actual figures. It's most often shown that women are more likely to be the victem in DV, but I couldn't tell you what the difference was exactly. However, this should have no effect on how we treat cases, each case should be treated individually.

Answer 6

It is just as bad as DV towards women,but you don't hear It as often,which is sad.

Answer 7

It's a difficult topic and making practical decisions is the hardest. At the moment domestic violence is portrayed as pretty much synonomous with women (and children). Because of this more time and effort is pumped into gaining convictions against men. This increases the recorded crime rate which is the only way it appears in official statistics. Undetected, unreported and unrecorded crime obviously do not. Interestingly this makes it appear as though the actual crime rate has gone up when it could have remained the same or decreased.

Thus by saying there is a DV "epidemic" effectively becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. Furthermore because of the conditioning police undergo, as stated above they view women as victims and men as perpetrators. This means that for men, who already have trouble reporting cases of DV, when they do swallow their pride and report it, the police may refuse to record it. Basically we have no idea how much DV is out there and who it really affects.

However, it could still be argued that it is "fair" even if it is not "equal" to have a disproportionate focus on males as the offenders and females as the victims. Yet to say that DV is going down because less women appear in women's shelters is a grossly bias and misleading statement since men can still be victims.

Edit: did brian and others miss the part about statistics being possibly the most bias way of presenting actual crime figures. "there are three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and statistics"- Benjamin Disraeli

Answer 8

Both Men & Women can become absuers. I don't have any stats. all I can tell you is Men get abused and they really don't have any shelters to go to.  the thing is if a man called the police and said help I am being abused and the police came and saw the man was bleeding they would arrest the man before they would a women. this has been done a few times.

DV against men i believe maybe coming into view more now. we need more men to open up and tell everyone " Hey I NEED HELP " we need to wake up and know violence is a HUMAN problem NOT a gender one.

My own dad was a victim of DV a lot but he also abused my mom.  they were both abusers. but he never called the police they would NOT believe him and he would go to jail. so In my house DV was equal between the sexes and in the real world YES it is equal. but I don't have any stats like I said I saw this growing up.

I would also like to say my Dad who I LOVED very much Passed away on Tuesday June 24 2008 at 6:00 am  I loved him and I miss him a lot. God Bless

Answer 9

No.

Most incidents of violence aren't even reported.  

The only research instrument that suggests women are anywhere nearly as violent as men are self-disclosure surveys.  Relying on one tool presents a distorted picture; you also need to look at:

- hospital emergency room records

- police reports

- court documents

- social worker reports

- psychologist's reports

- coroner's reports

The worst cases of DV make it into "the system".  Female victims are far more likely to be beaten to a bloody pulp, choked, strangled and murdered.  The period women endure abuse is longer than with men.  Many incidents of violence begin once the woman becomes pregnant.

*Re: the post below.  As I said, only in self-disclosure surveys is there any suggestion that women are as violent as men, or even close.  I didn't even need to go beyond the first entry in the bibliography provided (below) before I read "Authors report that there were no significant differences between the sexes in SELF-REPORTED perpetration of physical abuse".

And that's precisely the problem with self-disclosure surveys.  I once threw a dry towel at a boyfriend I was angry with.  Was this violence?  YES,if I were honest  in filling out a self-disclosure survey.   I committed an act of violence.  I threw a weapon.  A dry towel.

Now can you see how foolish it is to rely on just ONE single instrument?

Please see

"TheWorld’s Women 2005: Progress in Statistics  

Chapter 5 -

Violence against women" at

http://unstats.un.org/unsd/Demographic/p...

for information about the various data-collection instruments.

Answer 10

Actually I can first handedly account that it can be both parties that can cause Domestic Violence. Woman can be abusers just as men can. The only difference is that men physically can cause more harm, and lets face it if a man calls the cops and shouts out "I'm being abused" he wouldn't be taken as seriously as a woman would. Now that being said a lot of men don't report if they are being abused for the simple fact that it's not engrained in them to do so. Men are told to keep their feelings to themselves. I have meet a therapist that was the only one in her center to counsel Domestic Abusers and men that have been Domestically Abused. I had never heard of that in my life and I think there should be more people like her. She told me that other councelors will not council men because they are hard to change. And I think it's sad because it's telling both sides that it is OK and giving more sympathy to the women. NOW please nobody here think that I sympathize with Domestic Abusers because I don't. I think that there should be more help for both sexes. Domestic Violence is a vicious cycle that needs to be stopped. And I think it would slow down if there were more support groups for men as there are for women.

Answer 11

Better to hear it from objective, non-biased sources than have it all brushed aside by these angry, man-hating feminists as being 'lies' or 'false statistics', without a shred of credible evidence to back it up.

Here's a comprehensive list of studies which demonstrate that women as just as violent as men in domestic settings: http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.h...

To the user above me,

While you claim that female victims are far more likely to be 'beaten to a bloody pulp, choked, strangled and murdered' (source?), you have to remember that men are nine times less likely to report the domestic violence incidents to police: http://www.ejfi.org/DV/dv-22.htm#pgfId-1...

That's why anonymous self-disclosure surveys can be more reliable as they give a clearer picture of what's really happening.

On the subject of self-disclosure surveys, how are anonymous admissions of violence presenting a 'distorted picture'? You are invoking criteria which is irrelevant. For example, how can you check emergency records if the battered person hasn't visited a hospital or has not reported the incident to police?  

How is it foolish by relying on self-disclosure surveys, when it all constitutes violence, as in unlawful force for the purpose of violating the person's right to physical intergrity: throwing a towel is one example of 'lesser' force used-- although that is not to say that ALL acts are of lesser force. It is still battery at the end of the day, fool.

So the way I see it, self-disclosure surveys can provide clearer guidance.

Answer 12

We may never truly know, b/c most male DV victims won't come forth or they won't even know that they're being verbally/mentally/financially abused (some people think DV is only physical). I agree that women are more likely to be psychological abusers, as opposed to physical abusers. Psychological abuse is very hard for victims to recognize.

I've dealt with a few male DV victims at work, but the shelter I work at only allows women and boys under the age of 12. Some of the boys that come into our shelter have been abused by their father figures or relatives.

I do believe there are some male DV shelters, but it's still an unrecognized problem.

Answer 13

Ill give you some links for you to look over.

Just press search on this link just to start you off

http://www.dvstats.org/

Others

http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.h...

http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/ID41H3a.pd...

http://www.law.fsu.edu/journals/lawrevie...

Canada shelter farce

http://videomail.shaw.ca/view/1185491501...

edit

Typical. REBEL comes here to defend why DV against males is not really that bad and OH dont take any proof as proof. SICK.

DV should be held in the same light for men and women regardless of who is stronger. Women use weapons, men use strength. As we know, weapons can be more deadly than strength alone, so what is REBEL really saying. Sexist.

Edit

Nic

Problem is, men have to stay because they know that they will lose the kids and most of their hard earned and not be taken serious from authority. That is hardly an option not to mention they also have the reasons women stay, that being they are in a vicious circle of love hate.

Answer 14

Hmmm...I don't think so, not in terms of violence.  Most women use other means of manipulation.  Passive aggressive behaviour, silent treatments, guilt trips, withholding s*x, screaming, nagging etc.  This is emotionally abusive but not violence.  

I would like to say though, that having been in a violent marriage, I learned from experience that you must leave and you must take the children.  So you men out there who do suffer violence...please don't be ashamed, just do what you have to do in order to get yourself and your kids away from her.  You cannot leave them behind to grow up in an environment where violence is acceptable or they may grow up to follow in those footsteps.  Be brave!  I'm always very impressed with a man who has the balls to speak out.

! Answers:  It wasn't that long ago that women faced the same problems.  People won't listen:  If her husband hit her she provoked it somehow.  So that is not an acceptable excuse.  I have no patience for ANYONE male or female, who allows their child to live in a violent situation. NONE!!!  And as for the "hard earned"....if the money's more important than the abuse then the abuse isn't that F***ing bad and I really don't think that's what the asker's talking about.

Answer 15

How is this?

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/intimate/vi...

I think it sums it up rather well.

Why did I get thumbs down for a reliable source???

Answer 16

I don't think it is equal, men usually use a closed hand, with women it is usually open.

Answer 17

See Bryan J's link.

Answer 18

yes.

Answer 19

Since this is a violent culture and men have been more encouraged to use violence to solve disagreements-it makes sense that in the past more men were physically violent. With women in our society becoming more aggressive and violent it would also make sense that more women would use violence in personal relationships to solve disagreements as well. I have to go with the Dept of Justice stat's right now as they provide a window into the most violent families-the ones that are the most obvious to society. Granted-they don't cover all the violence going on-but it gives you a clue. Just like men don't report domestic violence-neither do women. We have no idea how pervasive rape is either as so few women or men report rape-we can only go by the most violent crimes that get reported to get an idea about what's going on in our violence laden society.

There are shelters for battered men-and shelters for battered lesbians and g*y men. The US is violent-it doesn't matter if you're straight or not-people will beat and kill each other-and the most likely people they'll do it to is the people they say they love. I know-I grew up with parents where one parent set up the physical violence scene and the other one beat the crud out of their kids. I decided to stop the cycle and not reproduce-at least I knew one beaten kid wasn't going to grow up to beat their kids. None of this will stop until people refuse to act like their parents or their relatives-that's usually who shows you how to treat others.