Is electricity the work of the Devil?

Question

I am having the manor updated and the builders have suggested I update the power supply. But I have a few questions about this new power source called electricity before I feel comfortable allowing it into my home, can you help?

1, How many buckets full of electricity will I need a week?

2, Does it take up a lot of space?

3, Is it safe to eat?

Personally I don't see what’s wrong with coal, although this coal powered computer-tron I'm using has caught fire a few time, still one must move with the times I suppose.

Answer 1

Computers and software are the work of the Devil. Stick to wood and steam construction.

Answer 2

Frankly Sir, in all honesty........ lets try phrasing this as delicate as one possible can, but............you are akin to the vaporings of the fellow with a large flock of bats in his belfry.

Answer 3

It`s unbelievable that you can "generate" so many replies from such a "shocking question !

Answer 4

Coal powered = electrical, so you fail.

Still a pretty funny post though. >_>

Answer 5

Ask your neighbour Herman munster, he might know

Answer 6

are you saying tesla was the devil,  holy-

does not come in buckets.

very little space.

not safe at all;  it is the amps that kill.

Answer 7

AR, Hi Ho and Tally beans ! I also run my magic message sender on coal and have had no problems. I do believe that these scum like people are trying to con you. I am reliably informed by the renowned scientist Professor Plumpocket that this magical 'electricity' is generated by a chap called Zeus who lives in the clouds. Now I ask you, if Zeus gives it away why should you pay for it ? It's a con and I would shoot first and ask questions later. Call me on the magic talky stick if you need further assistance or ammunition. Hi Ho !

Answer 8

My dear Rotter,

May I advise you, sir, that the method on which you about to embark is an inappropriate use of resources notwithstanding the fact that these 'so called' electricity supply companies are operating a scam (I should know - I taught them old chap)

May I, with your kind permission, suggest an alternative.

One could use the servants here wisely to form some sort of rota system peddling bicycles attached to a generator drive belt - that'll be a saving on the 'ol dosh eh?

The system could perhaps be installed in one of the old barns at  the Manor and during the cruel winter months, one would have no need to provide heating for the servants at work as they would, themselves, be generating sufficient body heat from their toils.

Might I dare to suggest that one could even scam the servants from some of their renumeration - for their use of the gymnasium equipment.

Answer 9

lol you use a computer & your worried about the devil?

Answer 10

What's wrong with hamster-power?

Answer 11

Rottor old bean, go with the flow of times, i had the "Electriatron box" put in at Shaftsworthy Manor and was amazed at the uses for the stuff ? i have even managed to rig the stuff up to the old metal bedsteads of the servant folk, i ring the bell in the middle of the night and when the lazy oiks done come i flick a switch and "juice them a good un" you can hear the screams a mile off ? soon has them on their toes ?

Ive even managed to attach it on a timer to the metal loo seat so when the time is up on the Pay & Display ...Zap!!

i say go with the stuff old bean you will not be dissapointed ?  oh you can also use the stuff for kick starting the older staff when they keel over .  tally ho

Answer 12

darling, you simply MUST go AC/DC like the ladies at the women's institute and I frequently do.

electricity is simply wonderful! I just had it installed athome and it is so marvelously usefull for any amount of things;

removing ones moustache hair, keeping the starving riff-raff out of the alotments, dispatching criminals etc.

Don't be afraid dear, it was invented by an englishman!

Answer 13

I would say don't chance it. You know what they say about those new fangled devices now a days. Don't jump on the bandwagon too quickly. If it gets a flat they expect you to push like a commoner. Ghastly to say the least.

I have gone with man power. I just offer the servants food. It is amazing what a small morsel of cheese will make someone do. They actually seem hungry... odd... they get fed once a week just like the others. But none the less my apologies dear I seem to be rambling like my dear departed mother.

Again try the cheese. You can even wait until it is old and 'aged' as they call it. You know when it is that odd shade of green. Very close to the shade of someones mustache (no names mentioned of course). Give it a try my dear.

Answer 14

as long as the shittter doesnt need coal or elctricity your fine! that the most important if you ask my m' lord!

Answer 15

At Twizzlegrass we use oil.

Useful to pour over the ramparts when the Jehovas come a-knocking.

Answer 16

Nope electricity is great! I love to throw it around and roll it into a little ball and eat it! =)

Answer 17

It is no longer in quantities of buckets , it is in square metres now , and you would require a delivery man to deliver it weekly for you (Fortnum and Masons do a d**n good delivery service)

You wont require much space, lets just say an acre or two in a small barn, or if you have a couple of idle tennis courts , you could always store it ther as long as the mesh is secure around the courts.

I personally wouldn,t eat it, although its ok to taste every now and then, say as a sweetner for tea if you have no other alternative.

I agree with you on the coal aspect as my charabangs all operate on coal and i even have a coal fueled BSA bicycle in the workshop that myself and my good lady ride on every weekend, even if it is only around the workshop itself, it is most gratifying.

Answer 18

I suggest you ignore it.  I'm reliably informed that the stuff will run out in a few years' time making the cost of installation completely wasted.  You might like to take a look at the latest steam powered computers that Mr Babage has brought out.

Answer 19

d**n it all Rotter, Electrickery? stay away from it old chap, know where you are with gas and steam, that was good enough for your pater it should be good enough for you,Smythe Hall is all gas and I wouldn't change it, My Stanley Steamer still has plenty of life left in it and can get up to 10 mph some times, though I must admit Lady Agatha does get a little dirty shovelling the coal into its boiler. I would take my man Cuthbertson with us on long journeys (he runs behind the car ) though at 94 he is getting passed it and tends to slow down on hills.

Answer 20

call me stubborn ,but I would stick with coal !

I can't say first hand but I'm told electricity taste just like chicken.

Answer 21

Oh do upgrade, sir. You'll find uses for it that surpass your skill with a whip.

Answer 22

You needn't worry, chappie.  I will send my man 'round to deliver the electricity personally, so you shall never have to touch nor smell it.  He will look a bit like me, and will need the services of your daughters, Vivacia and Buxie, for about an hour each afternoon to properly store the power.  

Please let me know if this is a suitable arrangement.

Yours,

Malibu K, esq.

Power genius.

Answer 23

Terry Thomas used his personal Electricity to shock and amaze his innumerable fans. Trying to eat electricity caused him to develop a large gap between his front top teeth.

It's a big pity that his Energy coudn't be harnessed for the betterment of mankind.

He oozed with his electricity by the bucket load and the space he used up was filled by his personality.

Answer 24

1. 8 (2 for Sunday, but that goes without saying)

2. Newfangled electricity seems to take up less room than older models.

3. I've found electricity palatable, but not particularly desireable.

Electricity is not of the Devil, unless, of course, it is Scottish.

Answer 25

Electricity is the work of little tiny wispy fluffs of extremely minuscule thingies called electrons.  

1.  You will need 3 bags full

2.  No, it only takes up 3 full bags of space

3.  Yes, it's a real tongue tickler

Answer 26

That is the funniest SHiiiiite I have ever read.

GOOD LUCK

..........................

Answer 27

When our dear boy Mungie starred this I thought, Ro-ott....eer!

Now then you have either asked this very question before and you have acquired a unique style, or you old chap are,....how should I put this politely?

Gorn upstairs and and forgot what you was up to there.