Is falling out of love with my fiancee enough of a reason to call off the wedding and reevaluate?

Question

I am engaged to a man I have been with for 4 years. He and I live together and lately I have begun feeling extremely unattracted and just completely uninterested in having any kind of relations with him! I don't feel the way I used to about him. Its not like just that the spark is gone, its like our entire relationship is gone! We don't act like a couple, we don't do anything together, and we fight and argue all the time because our views on many things like money and the household differ immensely! It feels like I'm living with an irritating roomate who I sleep with rather than a partner. Are those reasons enough to call off my wedding and reevaluate whether or not he's the one for me? It makes me sick to think of marrying someone that I will one day divorce because that is such an awful experience for everyone involved! I would love some opinions please please please!!

Answer 1

yes u should call it off delay it or something why would you even think about continuing on with a marriage when you dont love him and if all you do is argue now then it will only get worse after the marriage. i think you should talk to him tell him you want to delay the wedding and go see some sort of relationship counciler maybe they can help you with some of your problems

Hope use make it and are happy together =)

Answer 2

yes

Answer 3

If you're already not feeling like spending the rest of your life with this man, what makes you think that it'll change after an expensive wedding?

It sounds as if this apathy isn't exactly one-sided. Perhaps the two of you need to go for a little pre-marital counseling before you make a decision one way or the other. When was the last time that the two of you snuggled up and just talked all night? Does he still court you like you did when you were dating? You know, holding hands, making out, all the fun stuff about having a boyfriend! For that matter, when was the last time that you had a date? That's a with-a-capital-"D" date! You need to reconnect before you decide to disconnect.

Answer 4

Absolutely... don't get married unless you are 100% sure you are in love with this man. Otherwise it would just end in divorce. Maybe see couples therapy... it's not just for married couples.

Answer 5

Yes...you have to call it off.   It is disappointing that it didn't work out.  But you don't want to marry someone that you not 100% in love with.  And have a miserable life.  I have to agree...Please dont go through with the wedding.

Answer 6

get out now before it's too late. I'm very very sorry, but it's better then getting a divorce in 5 years!

Answer 7

I agree that mayby you need to speed up the pre-marriage counselling.

Financials and household are among th biggest issues for married couples, so get on the same page first

If you are not getting married in the next few months, I think calling it all off is a bit drastic.

But put the effort into communicating first. Once you are communicating well, then if you goals are still poles apart, then think about your compatability.

Answer 8

That is a very good reason to! If you feel the relationship is worth salvaging, you should postpone the wedding, and seek couple's counseling. From what you described, you two drifted apart, and stopped working at the relationship. As K. Hunter said, "There's no love where there is no work."

Answer 9

Ummmm....YES!!!!!!

Answer 10

As Carlos Mencia says; "De de de!"

Answer 11

best reason I can think of for calling it off.......

Answer 12

Yes, call it off.  I think shacking up is a bad idea, anyway, due to the reasons you mentioned.

Not only call it off, but break up completely.

Answer 13

If you feel now that there is a chance in the future that you will divorce him than dont go through with the marriage in the first place. I am young and have been married for 5 yrs now. There is times where i am like, this guy is so annoying and think why did i marry him but then i think back to why i feel in love with him in the first place and realize that you have to take the good with the bad. It sounds to me like your so used to being together that it is just natural and sometimes that means that you are better as friends than as partners. The best thing to do is sit back and think why you feel in love with him in the first place and if that attraction and that feeling is not there anymore then you should sit him down and talk it over with him. You dont want to wait until the last minute and then leave him at the alter. and who knows he might be thinking the same thing.

Answer 14

Is it ENOUGH of a reason to call of a wedding?!  Of course, it's enough of a reason!  Please don't even consider going through with the wedding when you are having these issues and doubts!

Answer 15

thats the best reason i can think of for calling off the wedding

Answer 16

Yes you should call off the wedding and reevaluate!!! Good Luck!

Answer 17

Call it off now. It is over. Fair for him and better for you.

Answer 18

Just breathe for a minute!!  First you have to remember that many of these people saying "yes" might be still hurt from relationships that are similar to things they've gone through, so they may be overreacting.  But, as far as your concern is, how soon are you getting married?  Do you have time to take some time apart, COMMUNICATE with him your feelings/concerns, get some Counseling?  Maybe you are just overwhelmed by it all and you want to just push it all away, including him.  It is one of the biggest decisions in your life.  And, maybe what you are feeling is real.  Maybe you two aren't right for eachother, but who knows?  What if you just need something to spruce up your life together???  You can't expect perfection, you're always going to disagree on things, even when you are married......you're not always going to agree on the housework or finances and how to handle the kids.  That's life, dear.  How you two handle it is how you are going to make yourselves stronger as a couple, and ultimately happier, or not.

I'm not saying call off the wedding entirely, but remember you can lose depost money like big time, so if you still want to marry him someday, get some counseling and take some time to figure this out.  And try not to jump to conclusions about your feelings.

Answer 19

yupp!

if u dont love him, how are u gonna say "i do" and promise to love him forever.

Answer 20

It may just be stress and pre-wedding nerves but I think you two definetly need more time and counselling.speak to him please don't just get married now if you feel it isn't right-you can just say that you are delaying it.  we  delayed our wedding last year and just got married one month ago- a good decision as the time wasnt right he wasnt sure and just needed time and space to re-evaluate.all the best

Answer 21

Uhhh....what's the phrase i'm looking for?  Oh yeah, it's "not only yes, but h**l YES"!!!

Answer 22

Absolutely!  You will completely regret marrying this person and no doubt find yourself in divorce court.  The best you can do is be completely honest with yourself and him.  End it now, so you can move on and find the love of your life.

Answer 23

Yes, if you don't feel like this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. then you should call it off.

Answer 24

If your already thinking about divorce why go through with it!

Answer 25

Yes, those are the exact reasons that you would want to call off a wedding and re-evaluate things. Getting married wont make it better, in fact, it could make it worse.

Answer 26

Well, of course it is. Actually, it's very common for couples shacking up - taking things for granted without the commitment.

Answer 27

yes. you should have talked about everything from house rules to how many kids you want before you got engaged... and before you moved in together for that matter. get out of the relationship now if you truly know things wont change, and take this as a lesson. get to know someone ... really know someone before you take big steps like engagement or living together. If they dont want to talk about life after marriage, they are immature and not worth your time.

good luck

Answer 28

Well......that is why I don't believe in cohabitating with your significant other before marriage.  You are bored with him and you have entered a more comfortable aspect of your relationship...My opinion in this:  Call off the wedding.  Take a break; move into your own apartment or back home,  and see if you regain your feelings for him.  If not you made the right decision.  If you regain your feelings, then make another date for a wedding, but don't live with him anymore.

Answer 29

YES!  Never marry someone you aren't completely sure about.  Even if you don't totally call off the wedding since you sound so unsure, even just postponing it would be wise.  Don't get married simply because your relationship got comfortable.  :(  Wouldn't you rather stay single than get a divorce in 2 years?

Answer 30

of course it is!

Answer 31

Yes I would say for it won't get any better so walk away while you can.  everyone will be better off.