Is feminism all about keeping score?

Question

I am constantly seeing posts from feminists about who does what more. Does a partnership/marriage mean that EVERY duty must be split into precisely equal portions? To me a partnership is about two people working together to achieve an agreed outcome. With any sport or partnership each person has a designated position and if they spent their time bickering about who was more valuable or contributed more, the whole team/partnership would fail. I've never heard of keeping score against your own team mate, it just seems bizarre. The complaints I'm hearing remind me of a toddler throwing a fit because "he got more candy than me". How is this kind of score keeping beneficial to a family or even society?

Answer 1

So when you're doing all of the child care, all of the house work, AND holding down a full time job, you'll still think you've a got an "equal partner and teammate," right?

Answer 2

You are absolutely correct. Each person brings strengths into a relationship and those strenghts should be used. 50% of a weakness does not equal 50% of a strength.  

Answer 3

"To me a partnership is about two people working together to achieve an agreed outcome."

Yes, but I suspect you'll find that all the working women who are still doing the majority of childcare and housework aren't in agreement about why it's their responsibility to attain more of the "outcome."

Answer 4

feminsim has becoem about degrading and tearing down men in order to make women feel more powerful....

Answer 5

Really? Hm.

The way I see it (and the way my relationship works) is that household work should be split equally. This doesn't mean that I 'keep score' about how often I do the dishes and vacuuming and how often my partner cleans or cooks. It just means we both respect the other and contribute to the upkeep of our home. If one person was doing all the work and the other was doing nothing, that would be a problem. Of course it also depends on our working hours - if one of us is working longer hours than the other for a time, the person working shorter hours will do more housework. This seems to fluctuate. If one person was working longer hours consistently, I think it only fair for that person to contribute more in monetary terms towards the household, as they aren't contributing as much time.

This works well for us. We never argue about household chores. Neither of us feels exhausted or taken advantage of. In this way it is beneficial.

Do you understand?

Answer 6

"I am constantly seeing posts from feminists about who does what more. Does a partnership/marriage mean that EVERY duty must be split into precisely equal portions?"

I love the assumption that a few posts from random people on Yahoo automatically dictate what feminism is all about.  Lovely.

"To me a partnership is about two people working together to achieve an agreed outcome. With any sport or partnership each person has a designated position and if they spent their time bickering about who was more valuable or contributed more, the whole team/partnership would fail. I've never heard of keeping score against your own team mate, it just seems bizarre. "

I'm a feminist and the way I see it is this: The issue is not, "You wash the dishes Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I'll do them Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, and we'll split them equally on Sunday".  To me, a 50/50 partnership means that the EXPECTATIONS are equal, meaning that one person should not be expected to do one thing all the time (unless one person is home more or one person is better at that thing).  So, for example, if I work 9-5 and you get home before me and you can cook, don't wait for ME to come home and cook for YOU because I have ovaries, and am therefore obligated to cook for you.  I think that's what the whole thing is about.

Answer 7

"Men are superior to women..."

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Who is keeping tabs again?

All agree with your definition of a partnership.

ok please read the post... this man is claiming that all men are superior to all women. BC of the actions of past men.  He has kept "score" in a whole lot of topics not just relationships....my point....you can claim feminist are "keeping score" perhaps some are...however you can not denied that so do some men and in this case on a much much larger scale.

Answer 8

in the end its about nothing, (empty barrels) you know.....

feminism will never ever achieve anything, its a flawed and failed piece of nonsense

Answer 9

If you wanted your relationship to be absolutely equal down the middle, it would be impossible to keep track of. So my idea of an equitable relationship is this: take care of yourself as much as you can, take as much as you need, and give as much as you can afford.

Answer 10

That's an astute and accurate observation.  

That's also got to be a frustrating way to live, always being angry because on Wednesday you had to do 50.1% while he only did 49.9%.  In your opinion.

Answer 11

It's not beneficial... but it is human nature.

I wouldn't blame feminism though; the men in this forum point the finger of blame as often as the women.

The only difference I see is in how they go about that. The problem with some of the men, is that they brag and claim superiority over women, placing themselves above women. The women responsible, go the other route, and cast blame on men, commenting on how inferior men are, placing men below them...the ends are the same, the means are different.

Answer 12

I see way more posts about how men are "superior," and then little lists to follow about what OTHER MEN (never themselves) have accomplished, than I see of the variety you mention.

Care to take a count? How far back should we go?

Answer 13

In the words of Yoda, so true your words are.