Is feminism the key to better relationships?

Question

A Rutgers University study shows greater relationship satisfaction and better s*x lives among feminist couples.

http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/65468

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/10/071015102856.htm

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Man-Woman/_Feminists_actually_make_better_romantics/articleshow/2463561.cms

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=58335138&blogID=375570658

I know that feminism is what allowed me to heal myself from the past traumas my brother and father inflicted. Until I addressed the pain and anger, I couldn't really love a man. Could feminism actually help people have better relationships? Has anyone else had this experience?

Answer 1

Yeah, reading a paragraph into that first article you could clearly see the bullshit.  I've never had a relationship that was just a means to an end.

Thank you for playing who can push their own agendas more.

Answer 2

I found that my success in relationships with men improved after I started identifying as a feminist.

Answer 3

Nope..

Bias study like that shouldn't be taken seriously.  Polls and surveys can easily be manipulated to suit certain agenda.

That is just "junk science" with an agenda, nothing more.

Answer 4

I think there's a lot to be said for feminism, especially when a woman has been traumatised.

Feminism can help us to see how sexist structures allow men to get away with violence against women.  And it can help us to see the role society plays in condoning violence against women.

The most difficult part of recovery is finding a safe space.  Some men are awful and some men are wonderful, and you don't always know who is going to react in a helpful way.  

I think feminist relationships are the only possibility of finding comfort and contentment.  Anything outside a feminist perspective can feel dangerous.

Answer 5

It's also very interesting that most of the feminists here are happily married, or in long term relationships, and MOST of the anti-feminists are single. Perpetually single.

Answer 6

No, its not.

My woman is alpha, but not a feminist.

Answer 7

Yeah, right.   A movement that teaches hatred of men will always help with relationships.

Answer 8

Yes, Yes, Absolutely. Once you start giving up on your own value, and right, you'll become nothing more than his property. Men tend to "own" and "control" a woman who is submissive to her man, and always take advantages of being dominant in a relationship.  

Answer 9

If both people share the same ideology, of course the relationship is going to be better. The study was conducted by feminist with a limited number of participants (531). 531 partcipants isn't enough participants for an effective study.

Answer 10

Possibly. I'm taking a long hard look at my failed relationship with women right now, and trying to learn how I can better understand and please them.

Answer 11

"Men who think women exist to aid men's dominion are not going to be very good partners to women, and they're going to find themselves mighty frustrated whenever their female partner demonstrates that she has a brain and free will"

Yea all that shows is misogynist attitudes DO NO'T lead to good relationships. The articles creates a total straw man, the wife being a feminist doesn't translate to solving the problem of some men being misogynists as much as it shows that feminists just don't appreciate misogyny.. shocking :O

Furthermore I hardly think feminism is solely responsible for men choosing to treat women as human beings, which also implies that men are naturally incapable of doing so on their own.. how sexist is that?

Answer 12

I think respect is the key to a great relationship-and it'd make sense that women and men who both respect themselves and each other would have the best relationships. I have seen people who are in "traditional" relationships treat each other with love and respect-but I've seen just as many have problems with remaining respectful towards each other-it's too easy to fall into indifference or contempt when one of you is valued more by your community than the other.

Answer 13

Absolutely. Financial independence brings us freedom to enjoy our relationships without the desperation for any male company as long as he is able to support us. Our relationships are based on love, friendship and respect for each other and ourselves. Isn't that the strongest possible base for any relationship? Isn't that what every man wants in his future wife / marriage? We do not need you to support us, but we love you for who you are.

Answer 14

Who would ever have guessed that a relationship based on mutual respect would be healthier than one with at least one partner who is irrationally prejudiced against half of humanity?

Answer 15

While I see your point, I don't think feminism is the end all, be all to relationships.

You said it best with this paragraph.

"In my picture of a healthy and good relationship, both partners value each other for who they are, not just for what they can do for the other person. Both partners are free to choose who they want to be with, and aren't partnered for the sake of social approval or economic necessity or sexual permissibility. Both partners bring strength to the relationship, and those strengths aren't based on who is "supposed" to be good at what (i.e.,he pays the bills and she does the dishes). Both partners have equal say and power within the relationship, and both are free to leave it. Both partners view s*x as a pleasure to be shared, not as a bargaining chip to be exchanged for respect or commitment or a ring."

You don't need to be a feminist to have all of this in a relationship. Each person views life and the situations in it different. Each person comes from a different family and background. These things shape our thoughts, opinions and belief systems. For many, feminism is an empowering thing. It's helped some overcome the most unfortunate situations. For others, this is not the case.

Nowhere does it state that all non-feminist wish to revoke the rights of women nor that they do not value women. Nowhere does it state all feminist wish to revoke the rights of men nor that they do not value men.

For me, being a feminist or non-feminist has never been the issue in a relationship. I come across very few people in general (no matter what their ideologies are) who do not believe all humans should be considered equal in political, social, legal and economical matters.

I personally consider myself a non-feminist but more important I consider myself an egalitarian or an equalist if you will. Not because I believe women are inferior to men. Not because I do not recognize what the women before me have fought for but because in our modern society we don't need to fight for more rights for men or more rights for women, we need to find away to keep the rights we do have balanced and fair and the only way to do this is if we are all on the same team.

I consider myself a non-feminist because while I recognize many modern feminist are not like this, I have encounter a great majority who are in favor (albeit quietly) of reverse discrimination. My research has brought me to the conclusion that feminism has sought to put men and women on the same level. Modern feminism seeks to undermine the male influence in society and put women on a higher level than men.

From my experience, this particular notion of mine has actually gathered me more respect with my male friends and coworkers. As far as relationships go, well I my fiance and I just broke off our engagement. It was a mutual decision because while we are great companions and love each other as deeply now as we have the past 6 years, we are both going separate ways in our lives and at this point it's just not logical for us to make such a commitment to each other. However, I would say 6 years in a functional, loving and devoted relationship is admirable considering our ages and relatively limited life experiences.

Answer 16

Yeah, that's what they say.  I've been married; rather we have been married for 24 yrs; we're both anti; more so me than him, and trust you me we have one of the most beautiful relationships that  I know of.  What you have there is some feminist hoopla of, "Come join the us now and you, too, shall have a wonderful relationship."  I don't get it.  Good relationships are built by couples who know how to work the materials given to them; not some fancy smancy title.

Answer 17

I don't think feminism is the key to a better relationship

Every relationship is different, and each dynamic is a unique one

Feminism certainly helped me though

When I was 17, I went from never been kissed to not a virgin in one night, I was absolutely coerced.

I mourned my virginity for months, I was devastated and did not feel whole, I tried to tell myself it meant something, I was so clingy to the b*****d

Feminism helped me learn that my worth is not contingent upon an intact hymen, it taught me not to be a victim, that I need to be accountable, that I have a reason to be confident

I am so much happier since adopting that mindset, and my relationships have been better because of it

Answer 18

Uh, no.  Which is why so few women bother with feminism.

Answer 19

Ummm. I don't agree in the slightest way, not that Feminist can't have good s*x lives, but that is total bogus that they would have better s*x lives/relationships.

Love: Your whole answer is a total lie. If you'd spend one day in the home of a submissive wife and her husband, you'd not say the things you say about them. My husband doesn't "own" or "control" me in any way. If he wants something, I do it for him...not because he is making me, but because I want to do it for him. A woman cannot be forced to be submissive because it isn't called submission then. It is called SLAVERY. Submission is a change of heart that a wife comes to. It is her choice, not her husband's. Don't judge submissive women and their husbands until you actually know what it is all about.  

Answer 20

In my experience, no. I dated 3 girls who were really into the whole feminism thing, none of them were good lovers. They were very self-centered, but that might not have had anything to do with their Feminism...I don't know. My last girlfriend was a little more traditional and I was going to marry her, but she passed away. She was wonderful in every way.