Is feminism to blame for making women do "everything"?

Question

I've seen a few women here complain that thanks to feminism, they have to work full-time and do all the cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing. How is feminism directly responsible for this? Especially when feminists have always encouraged domestic work to be divided as evenly as possible? Discuss.

Answer 1

"Women’s oppression is a lie. s*x roles were never as rigid as feminists would have us believe. My mother had a successful business in the 1950’s importing watchstraps from Switzerland. When my father’s income increased, she was content to quit and concentrate on the children. Women were free to pursue careers if they wanted to. The difference was that their role as wife and mother was understood, and socially validated, as it should be."

EDIT Rio, according you and your little friend above, feminism is the only organisation in history to have never put a foot wrong, even unintentionally.

I've been here since Christmas, I see all the side stepping, dishonesty and denial, what am I supposed to think? The whole point of this question is to say, "look, its not feminisms fault!"

One income used to support a whole family, now it takes two, many women have no choice but to go out and work now and let someone else bring up their kids, and you call that liberation?. Doesn't sound like it to me, sounds more like governments and big business are making a killing.

EDIT, the majority of poeple are waking around with their eyes closed. Rio, you may want to believe that feminism has done no harm to society but that doesn't make it true does it?

Answer 2

Really, you can encourage things but that doesn't mean that it will happen.  Your actions generally cause results, not your words.

Answer 3

Whatever one thinks of feminism, it is not the root cause of what you articulated.

Answer 4

Sorry Tracey, but working women claim alimony too...

In regards to the mentioned subjects...

Child-rearing; Most men do not show interest in being the primary caregiver for their children, thus where a woman wants to work and have children, such responsibilities typically fall to her... or the couple merely opt not to have children.

Cleaning; It's been my experience that women have a far different standard of "clean" than men, and will re-do the work even where the man does it. I always recall this joke, "Dust is important for men, we need dust. It tells us where to put things back."

Cooking; I doubt this bias exists much anymore; I'd have no problem being the one who cooks. From my perspective, its balanced, as whoever cooks, the other cleans up... ie. loading and unloading the dishwasher, scrubbing pots and pans, setting the tableplaces... etc.

Answer 5

It has a lot more to do with economics than feminism, and to be blunt, plain lazyness on the part of husbands.

And if anything the current state of affairs in which women feel they are now responsible for everything while men still hold the same roles they used to, only shows how far we still have to come.

In 1966 when NOW began it issued its statement of purpose which stated in part...

"WE REJECT the current assumptions that a man must carry the sole burden of supporting himself, his wife, and family, and that a woman is automatically entitled to lifelong support by a man upon her marriage, or that marriage, home and family are primarily woman's world and responsibility -- hers, to dominate -- his to support. We believe that a true partnership between the sexes demands a different concept of marriage, an equitable sharing of the responsibilities of home and children and of the economic burdens of their support."

42 years later and equitable division of labor within a marriage is still not commonplace. Of course it is more commonplace than it was 42 years ago, but progress has been very slow.

Answer 6

No, do not divorce and you are more likely to have a partner in life.

Answer 7

Feminism is a huge part of why our country is in the crapper!! The number one priority of a mother is her CHILDREN! They didn't ask to be here and a two year old could care less if your feeling fulfilled. They don't care if you feel trapped or bored at home, they just want their mom. You can't reason with a two year old and telling them that you having a job outside the home doesn't mean you love them any less, means absolutely nothing to them. Feminism has allowed women to justify their needs over what is best for the kids that DIDN'T ASK TO BE HERE!! Feminism is selfish and self serving and in the end diminishes the strength of the family by producing insecure neurotic people.

Answer 8

The social expectation for women to work has justified the increase in prices. For women that want be traditional, they have to work, unless they have a husband has a career that pays them well.

Domestically, men and women have different views on what clean is. Another answerer stated this and it is true. Child rearing should primarily be the mothers duty when the child is an infant and become equal when the child gets into the school age (6-7 years old). It is the nurture to discipline ideal. Cooking isn't that big of a deal. Most food today comes in a box and there are convenient appliances that make cooking easy.  

Answer 9

I've seen the same complaints and frankly I feel it's the opposite.

Feminism has been fighting towards equal labour distributions and has never hoped nor fought for a division that would expect women to work AND continue to do all the same domestic labour. Some feminist factions even argue that the fact that domestic labour isn't compensated is a huge factor in women's oppression and that being forced to work on top of this is a symptom of deeply rooted gender roles that oppress all genders.

Anyone who blames an entire movement for their plight is simply looking for a scapegoat.

Answer 10

The thing that is to blame for women having to do everything is spineless women door mats who don't have the guts to tell their husbands to do their fair share, or get the h**l out.

Answer 11

Feminism is just a convenient excuse.

Women have ALWAYS done everything, unless they were wealthy.

Answer 12

Women who want everything often get what they want: everything.

Humans can often be trapped in a "monkey trap".

A monkey trap consists simply of a wooden box with a lid that locks and a hole just big enough for the monkey to squeeze their hand inside.  The trap is baited with a grapefruit, and attached firmly to a tree.

The monkey gets in, grabs the grapefruit, but can't handle the crisis of having to give something up.  So they maintain their grip on the fruit and remain captive.

Feminist women also can't handle the crisis of having to give something up.

Answer 13

it may not be the root cause, but it does give many women the impression that they should do everything.

I firmly believe that working full time and having a family results in  guilt, each person needs to decide what is impotant in their lives...some decide that they need to work, for financial reasons or for self worth...others decide to be fulltime mothers. each are entitled to their choices..

But children need one on one care for at least 3yrs...and i know that on my deathbed i will not regret spending so much time with my kids.

Answer 14

But the modern feminist movement started because Betty Friedan announced in 'The Feminine Mystique' that housework was so easy women could do it in an hour or so a day, and therefore they were getting bored and making mischief at home, and should be out having careers, and whisking through the housework when they get home.  She said nothing whatsoever about splitting the housework, indeed, the whole point of feminism was that women needed something else to occupy their time,b ecause housework wasn't taking up enough of it.

So what has gone wrong?  Why are modern women unable to fulfill Ms. Friedan's utopian vision of having exciting, fulfilling careers and then whisking through the housework in an hour when they come home all fulfilled and happy?  Can housework really be tougher than Ms Friedan imagined?  She didn't think men should be invovlved in housework at all.

And when exactly did feminism become about dividing domestic work as evenly as possible?

Answer 15

No and yes.  No we can't blame feminism for making women do everything.  the economy and rising prices have taken their toll.  

Yes because the media (and feminists) today call women "superwomen."  Women are human beings and are overworked.  That plus continueing the myth that "women can do everything" puts an extra burden on single working mothers.    

Answer 16

We should start a dating service to set these women up with the men on here who claim to want "traditional" girls.

(Of course, they are the same ones who bltch and moan constantly about the concept of alimony and being taken to the cleaners. That's why they want traditional wives who have no means of supporting themselves should the relationship break up. Make sense? Of course not. It never does.)

Answer 17

Women either choose to do everything or they choose not to. Of course Im speaking of Western societies and cultures. In some cultures there are problems, but they have nothing to do with Feminism.

Answer 18

I think it's a combination of feminist ideology and the changing economic situation. Many families are now finding that both people have to work just to pay the bills, even if one parent would prefer to stay at home with the children. Feminism though is responsible for putting across the idea that having children shouldn't mean giving up your independence or career, which leads to women trying to have everything. I think some women can make it work, but I don't think it's possible to put as much time and effort into each one as is needed.

Working women often find themselves doing the housework as well - the cooking and cleaning are still seen as women's areas, and modern feminism is trying to change this. But I feel that feminism created this problem in the first place by encouraging women to leave the home, and now is trying to rectify it by trying to make everything "50/50". Men have their strengths and inclinations and women have theirs; nothing can change the roles people naturally fall into in a marriage.  

Answer 19

No. Feminism is responsible for women having equal employment rights.

Changes in our economy beginning several decades ago made it impossible for most American families to get by with a single wage earner, and necessary for most women to work.  Combine that with having kids and men with working wives not helping out enough, and you've got women doing everything - no feminists to blame.

I basically agree with Obama's Advocette above.

Answer 20

It doesn't make any sense at all, especially in light of such frequent complaints about personal responsibility. If everyone of sound mind is truly responsible for who they are, what they do, and what they choose to put up with, then no "ism" can be blamed for anything. To claim otherwise would be to use the sociological equivalent of The Twinkie Defense.

Answer 21

I agree with you Rio.  Yes, I had to work and take care of a family too, but it had nothing to do with equal rights, it had to do with my living situation.  I am grateful that it was acceptable for me to work because had I not been able to, my children would have suffered and had to do without many things.

My second husband was pretty good about helping with housework, but that came more from losing his mom when he was a teenager.  He was used to doing household maintenance and we saved money on babysitting as well as allowed our children to be at home most of the time with one parent by splitting work shifts.

I cannot say I blame anything on feminism or work for equal rights.

Answer 22

In my experience, women fill their own plate... so the lesson is to not bite off more then you can chew, simple as that. Unhappy people always look for someone/thing to blame their unhappiness on, doing this gains no headway in my opinion. Not that feminism is/has been the picture of perfect, as they throw around a good deal of "blame" also...