Is he lying about his use of pornography? Please...I need your help..?

Question

I'll try and make this as short as possible:

When I'm single-I watch p**n. LOTS of it, too. But when I'm in a relationship with someone-I let all that x*x c**p go! I sell it or give it away-entire collections of it.

And I expect my guy to be p**n-free as well. I let my bf (of 8 months, now) know from the very beginning that I wouldn't be cool with him watching/looking at p**n. He said "no problem" and I believed him.

Since the day we had that talk? I found 3 magazines in the work room nextdoor that he said weren't his. He said they were his friends. Then he said his friend had planted them there on purpose! A few weeks later, there were 6-7 more in that same room. The same room that he spent a lot of time in "working". Although it got very quiet at times-and I'd get this sick feeling...and that's about the time I walked over, only to find p**n. Twice....(twice in that room).

He also has 2 big p**n collections (at 2 different locations) that he has promised to toss. But he hasn't done it yet. And has no excuse fas to why.

Yesterday, he and I emptied out a BR to prepare it for new flooring and paint. The room belonged to a friend who lives on the property named Rick. I gave Rick a stack of p**n DVD's when me and my bf got together...but recently he asked if I had taken them back. They are missing. So, as I emptied out Rick's room-I spot checked for that envelope containing the DVD's. No luck. However...

I had taken a long lunch break and when I returned? Some of the things I had moved from Rick's RM to the dining room were moved. And it was odd how/where/why the items had been moved. So, again, I began to investigate. I found (rather quickly) 3 p**n DVD's. They may have been Ricks, but my bf was the only one around who could've moved the things.

That's the short of it, anyway. So, do you think he's being truthful? My gut is telling me one thing, but I thought I'd "ask the audience" to see what ya'll say...

Answer 1

He's addicted.  Dump him.

Answer 2

school starts soon so u wont have to worry about this c**p much longer

you cant be serious if u r an adult

Answer 3

I found out very quickly that when a girl asks her boyfriend to "stop watching p**n" he always agrees and just doesn't tell her he's watching p**n because it will hurt her feelings. I went through this drama quite a bit myself and found that if you can't beat em, join em. If you enjoy it and he enjoys it as well, then enjoy it together. There is nothing wrong with finding what your fantasies are and sharing them with the one you love. He's just not going to stop, it's in their nature to do this. Let him go and do your thing. It's up to you to stop this drama.  

Answer 4

sounds like he is lying... but why does he have to lie about this?? try talking to him... i mean if youve been together for 8 months p**n is not anything to lose a relationship over.. maybe you guys should try watchng it together... or try not to be so jealouse i mean its not like hes watching it with any emotional interest.. all those girls are are nasty *** s*x objects... nothing compared to you in yalls relationship... maybe the question isnt Is he lieing but why is he lieing and should it even be an issue?? i mean he not cheating...

but if you expect there to be no p**n at all leave.. hes lieing

Answer 5

yes he is....  

Answer 6

quit being so prude.... at least he isnt cheating

Answer 7

Hmmm.  Why don't you soften your stance to "If we're together or if I'm not in the mood go for it" with the p**n?  And instead of hiding it, have it put in a private cupboard you both know about.

Now, no more deception and lies.  If he's in the mood he should be able to ask you to join him, and if you say "no not in the mood" he can go do his thing.  Or you can join him, or you can tell him you have something in mind more interesting than that boring stuff and go blow his mind!

p**n is boring and has no passion or intimacy which in my mind makes it very one dimensional. I'd WAY rather be doing it than looking at it.

Answer 8

yes - he is lying to you only because he doesn't want you to get upset. I think that you should both come to an agreement (since you used to watch lots of it) and just watch it together. Just tell him not to lie to you about anything else. Girl, as long as he's not cheating on you, then its okay to watch p**n.

Answer 9

Of course he's lying.  He will continue to lie.  I don't know any guy out there who doesn't look at p**n.  All my buddies do.  Some of them have wives who are totally OK with it and I think they actually look at it less than the guys whose wives go ballistic about it.  My wife is OK with it and it's way less exciting if I'm not hiding it.  I do have a short stack of magazines in my office, but I have two friends (who are married to the p**n Police) who thumb through them when they come over, and they look at them far more than I do.  I joke with my wife that I only keep them so Jeff and Colin can look at them.  And I swear sometimes they only come over to get a look at the mags, because things are so c**p at home for them.

My point is if you ease up then he won't feel the need to hide his stuff and he'll very likely cool off on it.  If you "expect" a guy to be p**n-free you can also "expect" not to have a guy.  He's an adult who gets to make his own choices.

Answer 10

if you're in a serious relatinoship with this guy - you're going to have to learn to trust him.

that being said, he also needs to respect your feelings if hes serious about you. if hes not - he doesnt deserve you.

another note - if you like watching p**n when you're single, and he obviously likes it too...why not watch it together.. explain why you dont like him watching it alone, that it makes you feel degraded and probably somewhat unneeded and less than perfect (even though we ALL know that its SO unrealistic!!) --- and maybe compromise...watch it together.. it can be foreplay, it can be fun, it could be interesting ;)

chances are it'll make you two closer because instead of him watching and jacking off, you're there with him and THAT will be WAY more exciting than watching alone.

good luck!

Answer 11

always go with ure gut...always.

Answer 12

I think your all SICK!

You are either FOR p**n, or against it.

If you were ALWAYS against it, I would side with you, but since YOU PICK AND CHOOSE WHEN ITS OK, I do not agree with you.

Answer 13

If you are not happy leave say good by and go.

Life is too short to be worring over things that need not be worried over if you were either by yourself or with someone who does not have p**n popping up all the time.

Beside if he cannot get his stories straight then he is lying.

Answer 14

What is the big deal??? I think your overreacting.

p**n isn't a big deal.............Just watch it together... You said you watch it when your single..  

Answer 15

he should 'toss' you

Answer 16

I feel sorry for the guy.  He wants to look at some p**n in peace, but you just keep hounding him.  You are like the mighty p**n Police.  Apparently, it's time to confiscate his contraband, frisk him, and toss him in the hoosegow.  Will you stop at solitary confinement, or is torture going to be involved?

Edit for Val: Yeah, I thought that was a bizarre little discrepancy myself.  Obviously, I am pro-p**n, but I too could not figure out why somebody can love it when she's single and also hate it when she's dating.  Kind of strange to me.