Is he lying about his use of pornography?

Question

I'll try and make this as short as possible:

When I'm single-I watch p**n. LOTS of it, too. But when I'm in a relationship with someone-I let all that x*x c**p go! I sell it or give it away-entire collections of it.

And I expect my guy to be p**n-free as well. I let my bf (of 8 months, now) know from the very beginning that I wouldn't be cool with him watching/looking at p**n. He said "no problem" and I believed him.

Since the day we had that talk? I found 3 magazines in the work room nextdoor that he said weren't his. He said they were his friends. Then he said his friend had planted them there on purpose! A few weeks later, there were 6-7 more in that same room. The same room that he spent a lot of time in "working". Although it got very quiet at times-and I'd get this sick feeling...and that's about the time I walked over, only to find p**n. Twice....(twice in that room).

He also has 2 big p**n collections (at 2 different locations) that he has promised to toss. But he hasn't done it yet. And has no excuse fas to why.

Yesterday, he and I emptied out a BR to prepare it for new flooring and paint. The room belonged to a friend who lives on the property named Rick. I gave Rick a stack of p**n DVD's when me and my bf got together...but recently he asked if I had taken them back. They are missing. So, as I emptied out Rick's room-I spot checked for that envelope containing the DVD's. No luck. However...

I had taken a long lunch break and when I returned? Some of the things I had moved from Rick's RM to the dining room were moved. And it was odd how/where/why the items had been moved. So, again, I began to investigate. I found (rather quickly) 3 p**n DVD's. They may have been Ricks, but my bf was the only one around who could've moved the things.

That's the short of it, anyway. So, do you think he's being truthful? My gut is telling me one thing, but I thought I'd "ask the audience" to see what ya'll say...

Answer 1

We don't know the guy, or the situation, nearly as well as you do. So why would you expect us to know more?  Maybe you are only looking for general answers like: "Yeah, guys always lie about p**n.  They're all pigs!"  (Well, it's true. 8^<  We are.)

Guys look at p**n for different reasons than girls.  I think it' a biological thing and it has nothing to do with morality.  It's just a guy's fantasy life.  I don't think there's any evidence to show that guys who look at pornography more often cheat or become s*x offenders.  Why do you have to make such a big deal about it?

  

Answer 2

Oh yeah, i am sorry to say but your bf is still watching p**n. He obviously is still watching it and cant seem to get enough. He is either addicted or isn't satisfied enough so he is watching more sorry to say.  

Answer 3

well honey its really all up to u. its pretty obvious ur bf is lying to u. and u were upfront with him and truthful since the beginning so he should reciprocate it back to u but he isn't. well have a talk to him and confront him about it. dont fight with him just ask in a nice way, like 'please tell me the truth are u still looking at p**n?" see what he says which most likely he'll say he isn't then whats next is up to u... do u want to change the relationship where a)you don't mind it & watch with him b) ignore the whole thing  or c)get out of the relationship. i think the major issue here is that he is disrespecting you not just thru the p**n but by lying to u. the problem here isn't the p**n, its the disrespectful lying. thats what u need to solve, is ur bf a liar or not... if he is then maybe u should really consider breaking up with him  and if he is in general a good guy and doesnt lie but is ashame then there might be a way to work things out. working things out will be hard or easy depending on ur bf is he continues to lie or doesn't but honey do what makes u happy. in the beginnning of the relationship we women tend to ignore red flags then we face the sad music where we regret having put up with those red flags. this all depends on u honey, he has shown u who he is, which at this point is a liar and thief now what do u want?  

Answer 4

You should probably confront him about this.

Does he seem shifty?

It seems like he's guilty.

Answer 5

He probably lying ... but why are you so intent on him not having p**n ... are you so insecure . It is a normal thing for males to m********e , even when they are in relationships . You've backed him into an unreasonable place and he'll lie to get out of it . let him have his p**n ,, your attitude will make it difficult for you to find a man .who is honest with you .

Answer 6

i looked at the top 100 websites for the United States the other day. I thought you might like to know that there are 7 p**n sites on the top 100. 1 in the top 20.

men watch p**n. men read p**n. men sneak p**n.

i don't think women are going to change this because women watch p**n too.

i suggest watching p**n WITH him more often to try and "curb his appetite" and if this doesn't work, beat him at his own game.

how would he like to find a bunch of p**n with hot beefcakes in your nightstand ;)

Answer 7

Sounds like the pot calling the kettle black.

You're okay with it SOMETIMES?

Get off the fence yourself before you criticize other people.