This is a really long question, but it's doing my head in. I am in love with my friend. We only met a year and a half ago. We work together in a place that involves us being away regularly at weekends. I fell in love with him over year ago while we were away though didn't dare mention it as he is married ( I never even liked him previously), I knew he liked me too but he seemed happy in his marriage. So decided to have a good friendship as we talk for hours and hours and have so much in common and we talk about everything, no one knows more about me than him. A couple of months later, we kissed and ended up in bed, we had been drinking (although we both said when we were sober we didn't regret it). That happened a few times more, although he couldn't manage full s*x, think it was guilt. ( I asked him to leave his wife, he said he couldn't) later he said the going to bed bit had to stop but was upset when I said we had to end the friendship. In the end i stuck by our friendship and we had nights out and stayed up all night talking as we always did but without going to bed. The other night, I told him my feelings for him were strong, we sat all night holding hands talking, he said he thinks about me constantly, even more than before, and things have been going round in his head that we talked about before it stopped. He says he would love to be with me but there is still some love for his wife, (I respect that because I love him so much), he doesn't try it on with me, is just happy to be close and talk, cuddle and hold hands. He tells me, I should meet someone as he is h**l to live with. The rest of the time, we work together and we are so normal, with none of the cuddly stuff, drives me mad, though he wont phone me for things as he would the rest of our work mates, he passes messages onto me through others, which really gets to me. I'm so confused, I don't understand the behaviour, does he feel the same or is he just playing with me because he never makes sense?
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