Is he taking advantage? Help!?

Question

My boyfriend and i have been dating for 2 and a half years. Whenever i do something "wrong" or something he freaks out...and we dont talk normally for days. When he does something wrong i attempt to drop it as soon as i can becuase well i love him and fighting doesnt help anything. But recently he never shows up on time we can never do whta i want to do just what he wants to do and if he says sorry once he thinks its all good and fine and he always says you can be mad like i know i can be but i dont want to be and i dont need your approval! but really i feel like hes taking advantage of the fact that maybe im too nice...i dont fight i always do what he wants without argument and i only want the respect i give to him given back to me even half of the respect i give to him given back would be fine...how can i explain this to him without getting into a huge argument?

Answer 1

wow, i'm sorry emma, it seems like he is just taking advantage of your kindness. He shouldn't be like this, i know from talking to you how hard it the relationship is so when he gets a chance to see you, he should be on time, he shouldn't want to argue over everything. He should just want spend time with you and love you. You deserve his respect and more.

Its really nice of you to always want to make him happy as you do what he wants all the time but really he should do what you want to do, you respect him he should really respect you a lot more. i wouldn't tell him, you don't deserve to be argued with you are to nice (in Good Way). you ask for half respect, you should even have to ask for it. he should just give it to you if he actually loves you.

If you really love him (which i know you do) if you believe can can change, he wont upset you then you should tell him how badly you want a fairer relationship with him, its all about fairness and what he gets you should get.

i don't think its worth telling him it though sounds like he would just turn it around and argue with you and its not right my honest opinion is to leave him only that can show him how much he upset you. You deserve better, someone who will love you, give you respect, be there for you, want to do your things and always be on time. But of course if you don't want to that then just really try to tell him to be nicer to you.

Your a great girl he doesn't see it, Good Luck :)  

Answer 2

It sounds an awkard situation.  Talk to him about how you feel about respect him, but not respecting you the way you want to be respected.  Hope it helps you, Emma.

Answer 3

This doesn't sound like a healthy situation. He sounds quite selfish and you sound over accommodating. I know when you love someone you want to do everything in your power to make them happy. But, you need to make sure that you get what you need in the process.

You have to ask yourself- when is the last time that he made you feel really fabulous and loved? A relationship is about mutual love and compromise. Sometimes my wife gets to pick the movie (always a girly comedy!), the next time I get to watch old Star Trek episodes.

Your best bet is to just be clear. Say, hey I'll do what you want tonight-but tomorrow is my day! If he gives you a hard time when your turn comes, remind him. If a fight ensues stay firm. Either, he'll respect the new you for not being a push over, or he really is a selfish jerk. In that case your best option is to move on. There really are too many men for you to waste your life on someone who just wants to take without ever giving back.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

I think there is a fine line between being "nice" and letting people walk all over you. If there's something he's doing that you don't like or agree with, you have to say something and resolve it to your satisfaction (not his). Avoiding fighting about something only makes it worse. Discussing what makes you upset and then working out a way you both can be happy will make your relationship stronger.

And if he's always late and doesn't seem to care, I'd leave without him.  

Answer 5

The problem is you who wants to keep a guy who doesn't really care much for you. See your nearest therapist.