Is he too controlling?

Question

my boyfriend told me i could not drink, smoke, get a tatoo nor go out clubbing, whats up with that?

Answer 1

Just the fact that you are asking the question means that he is overstepping boundaries. No bf should tell you that you "can't" do things. He may feel uncomfortable or upset if you do these things, but don't let him control you like a child.

Answer 2

I think he's just trying to protect you :]

He's only thinking of you =]

Answer 3

Well if he's a pretty conservative guy and that stuff bothers him you should respect that.  But if you want to do those things you need to talk to him about it and tell him you can't be in a serious relationship if you want to do that stuff.  It's him or drinking/smoking/tatoo/clubbing.

Answer 4

If he said it the way you protray, then dump him, it gets worse.  If he said that those things aren't attractive to him, then it is up to you if you want to not do those things out of respect for him.  If he is telling you that you can't, run!!

Answer 5

what he means is, if you want to be his girlfriend, those are the conditions. he obviously doesnt like those kind of things. i would consider it a little controlling but on the other hand people have the right to decide what they want in their lives. and so do you! if you don't want a boyfriend who doesnt like drinking, smoking or clubbing then you may need to find someone else.

Answer 6

Well it sounds like he is controlling. But he may have hes reasons. You mite wont to talk to hem about it (maybe he's past)

I don't do any of that. If I had a girlfriend I would end it if she trying to do drink because my dad has disowned me (clams I'm not hes son) because of hes drinking and I refuse to be with a drinker because if that.

Maybe he has had problems with "drink, smoke, get a tattoo are go out clubbing" in the past with   and in hes mine he is trying to keep from have the same problems again.  

Answer 7

he just really cares about you. drinking and smoking are horrible things that eventually kill you, tattoo's are painful and when you are old you will regret it because you will look stupid, and going clubbing is like begging for the love drug, then a STD.... so seriously he just cares and i am sure a lot of people do

Answer 8

What does he let you do?  What do you two do to have fun together?  If you don't have any common interests, like dancing, biking, bowling, motorcycling, then you might be with the wrong person.  If he is controlling and you don't like it, guess what, it is not going to get any better when you marry him.  

Rethink this relationship.  I don't think you should drink, drinking only leads to problems, smoking leads to health problems when you get older, clubbing leads to you will be tempted to drink, get drunk and meet other men.

Answer 9

Yes.  He is too controlling.  He needs to start allowing you to live your life comfortably or you will both be headed for heartache - you more so than he.  He is worried about what you do beyond his sight, and how you will look when you are with him.  He should instead be thinking about you wanting to be with him!  Push him away, gently, and let him see how you are without him and then he can decide what he wants to do.  Trust me, don;t let a guy dictate your actions, you control your own destiny and how you live your life.  Stifling yourself will only feel  more wrong the longer you do it...

Good luck to you...

Answer 10

Not worth much of a boyfriend.

I dated one all through high school like this who ended up beating me. He was totally controlling.

I then married someone else and it was the same thing. I finally got out of it and found a nice person.

Controlling on these things just leads to worse things and even abuse if you don't follow their orders.

What a jerk! Ditch him

Answer 11

If we say yes, what will that get you? Some people on Yahoo said he was controlling? You control your own life. If those things are more important to you than him, there's your answer.

Answer 12

he might be controlling , or just voicing his opinions , this is part of communication, you can communicate back, and if you cant agree on a compromise, then move on. better now then later.

Answer 13

I think you need to find somone that will let you be in control of your own life. Maybe theres stuff in your life, that you do/don't do that he may not like, and he can let you know he doesn't like it, but that doesn't mean that you have to change if you don't want to. And he can't tell you NOT TO DO stuff! I've been with 2 guys that tried doing that too me. The ended up being complete phsycho!! I think you should be careful with him....

Answer 14

You need to tell your boyfriend to grow up he's not your daddy! Remeber this, do what makes you happy, once you let a guy control you you end up forgetting WHO YOU ARE!

Answer 15

tell him if he doesnt back off and trying to be the boss of you, then hes gunna get punched. hes beign rediculous, you make decsions for yourself.... and you have a very nice name!

Answer 16

smoking is unhealthy, tattoos can't be removed, drinking makes you sick if you drink too much, and clubbing- I'm not sure.  Maybe he's a little jealous of you going out and meeting someone else.  I don't really think it's too controlling of him to not want you to drink or smoke.  It's your body, so a tattoo is your choice.  I got one and I wish I hadn't.  He can't tell you what to do, though.  If he yells at you a lot, calls you names, hits or pinches you, or controls who you talk to, you need to get away from him.  No guy should control you in any way.  What you've said doesn't sound so bad, but if it ever gets worse, you should dump him and move on to someone you deserve.

Answer 17

Well, you had better decide now if this is what you want to put up with in a serious relationship.  Personally I say run and run fast!!!

PS I don't drink smoke have tattoos drink or go clubbing.  However I would never let someone tell me I could not if I wanted too.  

SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOO   RRRRRRRUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Answer 18

well i would think its common sense not to drink or smoke, A lot of people regret tattoes aswell so. And if he is your boyfriend why would you want to go clubbing?

Flip it around, if you saw him dead drunk with a cigar a giant american flag on his chest and lipstick marks on his cheek what would you think?

Answer 19

If he's really coming down hard on you about it, than he thinks you'll roll over and play by his rules. It's something that needs to be stopped as soon as possible or it'll just escalate so i would suggest talking to him about it, tell him you don't appreciate being talked down to and that you're  your own person and can make your own decisions. If he doesn't agree, drop him...he thinks that you're his property and that he can control you.

Answer 20

he dont want you to do what he has already done.lol jus do what you want. you only have one life.

Answer 21

Ehh. Thats pretty controlling.  

Answer 22

It means he is a jerk and you should run as fast as you can away from him.

Answer 23

Perhaps it's because drinking will get you Cirrhosis, smoking will get you lung cancer, clubbing will get you raped, and tattoos will get you either a nasty infection or a nasty tattoo. Sounds like he has your best interests in mind.  

Answer 24

That's for you to decide. If you don't like being told where you can go, what you can consume and what you can put on your body then I would say yes, he is too controlling.  

Answer 25

I don't think he's in any position to tell you that you can't do anything. He might have a preference on what you do with your time, but ultimately it's up to you. You're an adult.You make your own decisions.

He's right about the smoking and the tatoos though. Both are nasty!

Answer 26

Do you want any of these things?  If the answer is yes than you are with the wrong dude.  Tell straight out it is your body and you will do as you wish and if he can't except that than take the long road and see ya later.  He is a control freak.  He is just a boyfriend and doing this WATCH OUT girl it will only get worse.

Answer 27

He just wants a decent girl

Loves and care about your life

HE LOVES you tooo much

And that is why you should tell him that you're not yet his wife.. and if he doesn't like you for who you are. and is taking away your freedom then sorry

He is not the one for you

Answer 28

Remind him that he is not your husband, hes your boyfriend, and you are not tied down to him in any way shape or form! Dump the guy if your not happy with him. ..

Answer 29

He has a problem with his self confidence.You need to drop him like a rock NOW.what he's trying to do to you is not good and will lead to a lot of problems the longer that you let this relationship go on.

Please end it now.

Answer 30

Um yeah honey thats controlling you should either tell him that if he loves you then he should respect and trust you and you'll do what you want or get the h**l out.

Answer 31

Okay ... how much of an age difference is there?  This is a tough one, because it's him trying to keep you away from the bar scene and smoking.  Tattoos on the other hand, permanent ... think really really hard on what you want.  But remember you have your own life ... don't let him live yours.