Is hitting really that bad?

Question

I have seen people go nuts on this issue and tell their kids that hitting under any circumstance is bad but is that really the case? Here is my example and tell me if you would still give your kid flack.

A big kid bullies a little kid and takes his lunch money by beating on him (we can all agree that this is bad).

The little kid's big brother beats the snot out of the big kid and get his lunch money back.

Many would say the big bro was wrong for hitting the bully and protecting his little bro? If your son got in trouble at school for protecting themselves or others through use of force would you punish him for using physical force or reward him for using his strength to help others?

Answer 1

as long as the older brother knows its not right to fight and he did it to protect his younger brother then that's fine, I did the same for my younger brother when he was being bullied, i didn't get into a fight but told the other lad where to go unless he wanted trouble. hitting fights etc are all a part of life and growing up, just as long as the persons involved know fighting isn't the right answer but there is a time for it now and again. there's always going to be bully's out there and idiots who just want a fight! you have to know how to handle a situation without fighting but if fighting is the only way then so be it.!

Answer 2

well, I wouldnt "reward" him but if it was a serious issue with bullying and he finally got sick of it and felt he had to do something then I dont think I would punish him either. I would however make sure that I got involved and talked to him about it and make it a school issue and get the teachers and parents involved

Answer 3

As long as I don't see it, I don't know about it. The only thing I have to say about abuse and children is, kids will be kids. Right or Wrong, it'll happen. You just have to have a side free discussion. You can't pick sides with either the bullie or bullied, only get that point across that what both children did was wrong. Wrong taking the money, and wrong for imposing violence. It's a lose lose situation. But with disipline from both angles, the issue should be resolved with a mature attitude.

Answer 4

I would most certainly NOT reward for using physical force in defense, but I would not punish.  I do not believe violence is the answer.  I realize that in certain situations it is necesary to defend yourself physically.

I would most certainly punish my child if they started the physical portion of the fight though.

Answer 5

You should never reward a child for being a bully himself.  If these kids are at school, they can talk to a teacher about the kid who took the money.  Beating up a kid who beat up your brother doesn't solve a thing.

Answer 6

i agree totally.

my kids know that if someone bullies them, they have the right to fight back. i actually don't allow them NOT to. if i hear of a kid bothering my kids, i tell them to tell the teacher, 1st time. 2nd time, do the same that they did to you. 3rd time, if they don't do something to the kid, and let the kid mess with them physically, they will come home and be in trouble from me. it might sound harsh, but it worked for my kids.

i don't condone starting fights or bulling. what i DO support is standing up for yourself, period.

as far as older siblings getting involved, i do support that if it is a case where the bully will not let up.

my 2 older ones know to watch for a min. to see what happens. if it gets out of hand, my older daughter or son, just has to look at the kid that is bothering my youngest, and its over. i actually would be very upset if they seen someone bullying the other, and stood back and watched. i really don't know what i would do.i haven't had that happen.

my kids aren't thugs, they just don't allow people to walk on them, and i beleive that is a good thing. nobody messes with them, so i would say it is working.

by the way-i don't care what anyone says, when an incident happen with my son, and he beat the snot out of another for bullying him (broke all his crayons, kicked him in the nuts, bit his neck,all on different occasions,-after i told the teacher-) my son was high-fived by me IN  the principals office when i picked him up., and i will do it again. i would like to see some of the parents on here go through bullying with their child one time and see if the tune changes-

Answer 7

I can't really give a good answer because I am a big sis to a brother and sister and I have had to go to bat for both of them. It really depends on how old and the situation, but it's not like it used to be. I saw a girl get beat up at school one day really bad and she ended up in the hospital with broken bones and a caved in eye socket and lost her eye sight in that eye. I don't want to say it's right because it's not, but personally I couldn't have watched that happen to my family or friends and would have been right in the middle of it. Now my son I will not reward him ever for getting in a fight, but I do expect him to defend himself because I don't want to be that parent looking at their kid in the emergency room.