Is insulting someone, nagging at them, undermining them, harassing them etc. domestic violence / abuse?

Question

I'm not talking about the law. I'm interested in what you actually think and why.

Answer 1

It's what all antisocial, narcissistic, parasistic, sociopathic, psychopath losers do all the time since their frontal lobes are as damaged as their demented views of their own moral code, whatever they call it.

Answer 2

h**l no, yahoo answers wouldn't exist.

Answer 3

It is emotional abuse.   If you did it to a child it would be deemed child abuse.

Answer 4

It's abuse that is harder to prove.

Answer 5

Abuse yes, but not violence. You have to draw the line between the physical and the mental someplace...

Answer 6

Emotional and verbal abuse is very real.  You can find many wonderful books on Amazon on this subject.  Or you can get them at your library.  Please find someone to talk to also.  You will find that you are not alone.  Many times your friends will end up telling you they have the same problem.  It often takes just one person to break the ice with this subject.

Answer 7

Over and over again it would be emotional abuse in my mind.  Everybody does this once in a while.

Answer 8

Its emotional abuse if it comes from a man.

It doesn't count as anything if it comes from a woman - men just ignore it.

Its 'domestic violence' according to laws inspired and promoted by the feminist movement e.g. in the UK and India.

Answer 9

YES. It's verbal abuse.  

Why? The description answered the  question..you're undermining them by insulting them, harrassing them, and nagging at them to make them feel low about themselves and their worth. They are being abused when someone makes them feel that way.

Answer 10

That's called marriage dear.

Answer 11

Yes

Get out as soon as you can. Otherwise you will end up in the looney bin.

Answer 12

If someone insults me I just tell them to f*ck off!

I suppose that would be considered abuse! I find it pathetic how weak humanity has become. If women need protection from society by laws, then you are weak and should have no say in how it is run!

Answer 13

It's the kind of thing that's probably best determined on a case by case basis (depending on frequency, severity, and the emotional impact on the victim) but yes that definitely can very well be abuse.

Answer 14

Nagging insulting an undermining no harrassing maybe. If you can't handle some of the bad in life then you don't need to live life at all.

Answer 15

If it is constant, and done with the intention to intimidate the receiver, then yes, it's abuse.

It's abuse if it is causing problems in the relationship in any way. In fact, all physical abuser's are also emotional abuser's - It's how they 'work' their victims in to positions of powerlesness, so that they don't/can't stick up for themselves.

Answer 16

It can be. A lot depends on the individual circumstances.

I know a couple who argue and fight all day long, but seem to thrive on the drama and won't hear a word against each other. No abuse, imo.

Another couple, the wife is almost frantic because hubby won't take his meds, won't see the doc and blames her and the kids for his life going out of control. He says she nags him (about taking his meds) and the kids pressure him (for attention) and that's the root of all his problems. Life would be peachy if they'd just leave him alone to play computer games all, just put food in front of him when he wants it. I think his behaviour is abusive and manipulative, even though I know he can be quite a decent guy when he is doing the right thing.

In another situation I know people where the hubby berates the wife for her stupidity every time she opens her mouth, and if anyone says anything to defend her ~ even "oh it was an accident" ~ they get a mouthful of what a dumb bunny she is going back ten years. She feels too dumb to seek help, to me that's abusive on his part.

Same thing with a woman I used to know who used her tongue as a whip on her partner, causing tears and unhappiness all the time. Nothing the partner could do was good enough, right enough, or fair enough. The partner was simply a whipping post for this woman, and no-one was surprised when the relationship broke down. In fact, most people were relieved. What a train wreck.

So yes, I definitely think it can be abusive. At best, such behaviour is part of some sort of 'drama' within a relationship, at worst it can be violent and destructive.

Undermining someone you are supposed to respect as your life partner, and treating them with contempt is not a healthy thing to do for yourself, emotionally or relationship wise.

Only someone who thinks very poorly of themselves would want to be in a relationship with someone they dislike and disrespect, and only someone who feels very small and powerless would want a relationship based on how much they could humiliate and debase someone else.

Best wishes :-)

Answer 17

In a certain way maybe,it sure can lead to what everyone thinks is domestic violence.

Answer 18

I consider it Verbal Abuse...anything that can undermine,hurt or cause any type of pain to the victim is abuse. Whether its physical,verbal,mental,emotional whatever it may be if it causes pain its abuse.

Answer 19

Insulting and belittling is obviously psychological abuse.  "Nagging" is in the eye of the beholder: kids will insist their mom "nags" them to clean their room.   That's not abuse.  They just don't want to listen, and need to be told over and over again to shift their butts.  Similarly, men who are transfixed by computer games and insist on playing during every waking moment are not being "nagged" by either their wife or children.   Turning their backs on their family  constitutes neglect (most certainly child neglect and that's a criminal offense punishable by law).  The spouse ignoring his family obligations is the offender, not the spouse drawing attention to the bad behavior.  Its grounds for divorce.   Why stay married to a zombie?

Answer 20

No, it's normal married life.

Answer 21

I would say yes.  Words can cut like knives.

Answer 22

it is abuse

Answer 23

Depending on the extent, yes, it's emotional abuse.

Answer 24

I think it's emotional abuse.