Is is ok to yell at your kid's friends while they are at your house?

Question

My eight year old got griped out by a friend's mom while she was at their house because my daughter lost her glasses. I personally didn't think the lost glasses were that big of a deal, because I figured they would turn up eventually. My daughter has ADD and has a tendency to misplace her glasses from time to time. Her friend's mom berated and yelled at her to the point that she was sobbing uncontrollably and then brought her home. The glasses turned up later that day, but my daughter never wants to back to her friend's house because she is now terrified of the mom.

Answer 1

That's just so weird to me. If a kid lost their glasses at my house I would help her look and I would be super-apologetic when she went home without them.  I wouldn't be "yelling" at the kid.

I have an 8-year-old - there are times when the friends do need correcting unless you want them to destroy the house. But yelling?  That's out-of-line.  

I would suggest you respect your daughter's wishes and don't let her go back to that house. They can be friends at school. That woman sounds like a hot head.

Answer 2

mine is 15 so I have to yell at his friends. I have to yell to be heard over the recket they make. But berating is out of line. At 8 a parent need only inform the child of the rules and if the child doesn't follow the rules, don't let the child back over. No reason to yell at anothers kid

Answer 3

Berating and making someone else's child cry is not right, but I think its o.k. to correct or explain to the visiting child what is wrong I would talk to the Mom and see if you can work it out.

good luck

Answer 4

im 12 and whenever i go to my friends house they never yell at me....that is not rite.....i understand and that mom should of understood that that isnt her daughter and she has add and its even harder for her to remember where her glasses were...that is way outta range...i would speak to THAT mom

Answer 5

well,you must consider the fact that the woman might have a lot on her mind and another child is always tiring.Sorry about the kid,shouldn't destroy the friendship between the kids

Answer 6

i think the parent should resist yelling at the child as much as he/she can b4 he/she yells. in your case...the parent was WRONG. i don't blame her for not wanting to go back to her friend's house. but if a kid DOES break a big house rule that you need to enforce punishment on...then you do need to tell them to stop. don't let them do what they want just because they're a "guest". hope this helped.

Answer 7

no if the kids are bothering you than call thier parents and send them home but never yell at them! Parents are too lawsuit happy these days!You need to call that mom and let her know how you feel and even if your daughter wanted to go back there would you let her? I wouldn't!

Answer 8

No.

Answer 9

The yelling is unneccesary. I would talk to the other mother about it and how your daughter is scared of her now. Just tell the mother if your daughter is over there, you would appreciate it if she didn't yell or berate her. If there is a problem with her behavior to call you and you will handle it.

I do believe it is ok to correct others kids in your house, but that woman seems unable to do it in a manner I would agree with so I wouldn't allow her to do it. We have a set of boys that come over and they are always yelling and fighting so we are constantly having to tell them that it is unacceptable to behave that way in our hous. They get 1 warning then sent home if it keeps happening. But there is no yelling. I don't think its appropriate to yell at other's kids. Heck, I don't yell at my kids. Talk firmly, yes. Yell, no.

Answer 10

Sounds like the friends mom went overboard. I might tell my kids friends not to do something while their at their house, but I would never yell or berate someone else's child. I would leave that up to the parents. I can understand why your daughter doesn't want to go over there. If that happened to my nine year old daughter, I think I'd let her play with the little girl at our house instead.

Answer 11

its ok to tell the child off, but you should never yell at a child, especially if its not your own

Answer 12

And rightly so.  Some are Moms and some are baby factories.

Answer 13

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  DAts a bad mom

Answer 14

not exactly yell at them and especially not for that. if they break a rule they can remind them of it, but definately not until she cries

Answer 15

I think it's Ok if the child is breaking the parent's/house rules, but THIS parent overstepped her bounds and did your job. It's understandable if your daughter doesn't want to go back there, and, as a parent, I don't think I would want her to!

That mom was out of line.

Answer 16

It's okay to discipline your kid's friends when they are at your house.  It is not okay to yell at them.  Further, why did she need to discipline somebody for losing something that belonged to them? Geez, I lose things all the time.  Presumably she felt badly enough about not having her glasses.  It's not like she lost something that belonged to the friend or the friend's family.  

I think it's ridiculous.  I'd honor your daughter's wishes and have the friend over to your house from now on.

Answer 17

I don't know about yelling but I have no problem telling a child who is not behaving in my home the rules and reminding them if they do not like them they are more than welcome to leave. As far as the glasses go, if that were to occur in my home I would feel bad about it but would not scold her for it, I would inform her she was to search for them while I called  you to let you know what happened.

Answer 18

I believe that it is ok to correct someone else's child while they are at your house and in  your care.  However, the situation you describe is completely unacceptable!!!  Why in the world would she yell and berate your daughter for misplacing her glasses?!  Something so minor should not have brought such a harsh response.  I don't blame your daughter for not wanting to go back, and personally I wouldn't allow her to!