Is it,s right for my wife to want and make me stay home every time she goes to family events/visits.?

Question

my wife's brother hates me because i had him arrested for harassment. my wife is afraid its going to cause trouble and i feel betrayed and i also feel she's putting her brother and family first.i'm headed for a divorce over this and some other issues. help

Answer 1

All you can do is talk to her about it.  Let her know you are fed up.  Make her choose.  And if she decides that the way she is going about it.  Is the right way.   You file for divorce.  She can't make you do anything.  If you want to go along just get in the car.  Or  visit friends and family you have.  You don't have to stay at home.  You can go out and do your own thing as well.   I stay at home a lot.  My husband doesn't make me.  Even if he tried.. he wouldn't be able to.   I have my reasons,   for not doing the things I choose not to do.  Start doing things for yourself.

Answer 2

I don't think there's anything you could do about it besides have her support you & stay home with you instead of going to family functions. The family obviously doesn't care enough either to tell her brother to cool it & get over it or just not come at all. And he's obviously not going to get over this grudge he has against you anytime soon. Why do you want to join her family so bad if they don't care enough about you to help settle this? Most husbands would give their right leg to not have to join in-laws functions. I know mine would.

Answer 3

The whole family needs to sit down for family counseling.....otherwise you're right you're headed for a divorce.

Answer 4

maybe some kind of counseling..need to have open communication with the wife about her brother and some kind of compromise here

Answer 5

Family counsel because when people marry a wife should not forsake her husband. same with a husband too. I can understand staying home once in a while it is sad to divorce over this.  

Answer 6

Wow!  Had your brother-in-law arrested.  That must have won you a whole bunch of points with the whole family.  I'm thinking that, if you can't get along with the family, you should invite yourself to stay away from their gatherings.

Family is important, but a husband and wife have priority over extended family - or so I read in the Good Book.  It says something about leaving father and mother and cleaving unto you spouse.

Answer 7

My husband does not get along with my brother in law..not many people do for that matter. We just go to the functions that he is not at. You can find something else to do, like we go the football game on thanksgiving and avoid the family thing.

Sometimes we don't go to the function, but we make that choice together. I would never tell him to stay home while I went, it is a we thing.  

Answer 8

If you want to go out, go out and tell your wife to stop being a dominating *****. I do not see the problem. Are you a man or a mouse?

Answer 9

Tell her if you are not invited around her family then she shouldn't go what if the situation was reversed? When you got married you became one so she needs to get a back bone and tell her family that either you are welcome there or she is not going because she chose you to be with you for the rest of her life and if she doesn't apparently your marriage doesn't mean to her what it means to you and you should divorce her. Remember once you get married husband and wife are first extended family comes after your family your kids.

Answer 10

Is the brother at every family function? If he is, I suggest you let your wife know that this is an issue that could ruin your marriage, and that you'd like it if she could come to some sort of compromise when it comes to family events. I'm sure the entire family knows about this situation so it may have something to do with them too, not only your wife. Let her know that you're willing to compromise as long as she/they are. For instance, an all day  event can be attended one half with you there, and then the other with the brother. Or celebrations can be carried out on 2 different days. It can work, providing everyone involved wants it to work, so that's where you're going to have to start.  However, your wife should be willing to work this out no matter what if she wants to remain in the marriage. Good luck.