Is it 'normal' for a three year old not to socialize?

Question

This is a very sensitive question so please don't be unkind.

My nephew is three and hates leaving the house, he won't play with other children and is very solitary. He screams the place down if someone walks in 'his space' or even looks at something that belongs to him. If we go out all together (park, beach etc) he screams 'I want to sit on my sofa' until we leave. I have four very outdoor-loving children so is strange or me to see this, mine only whinge when we leave! Is this a difference in personality or is their a problem? I love my sister to pieces and she is a great mum but I am wondering whether to suggest she see a healthvisitor to disscuss it x many thanks x

Answer 1

This does sound unusual. I'm not any kind of expert but it sounds like he may have some form of autism. Possibly Aspergers.

I would definitely get her to speak to the doctor. You can never be to careful!

Hopefully it will be nothing more than a grumpy kid!

Best of luck

Answer 2

well... its not unusual for a 3year old not to really play with other children... everyone develops physically emotionally intellectually and socially at a diffrent rate! i'm assuming he's an only child? and i take it he dosent go to pre school either? only because you say how he acts if he's not at home... if im wrong and he does have siblings how does he act around them? and if im wrong again and he does go to pre school how does act there?

if he dosent go to pre school and he hasnt any brothers or sisters perhaps suggesting to your sister she enrolls him in their local would be a good idea even if he resists it will be normal since its something he's not used to but if you think about it the teachers there are profesional and can help him learn to share and make friends... if this dosent help at about 6 months before he's due to start school then yes it will be a good idea to suggest he see someone since he's gonna have to start school soon and wont be in a fit state to if he's like this. i hope this helps and dosent sound mean if it does i appologize i had no intention of doing so! :)

Answer 3

Sensitively suggest a discussion with a health professional, as ai suspect that Formersa may be giving a pointer, this behaviour is typical of Asbergers syndrome and there are lots of things you can do to support your nephew if he is diagnosed as having this condition, the best being aware of the syndrome and how to deal with it to help him best. Good luck, it is excellent that your sisiter has you to support her.

Answer 4

I would say he either has asperges or some other form of autism. Get him checked out because the earlier the better as my friend found out when at 8 yrs her younger son was finally statemented and is now looking forward to a new specialist school.My friend wishes she had pushed so much more when she 1st became concerned when he was 2 - 3. She was fobbed off alot by everyone until school could no longer do nothing as he was becoming violent. be supportive and tactful. Good luck.

Answer 5

Look into Aspergers syndrome.  What you describe fits the model.  This is not something that is devastating, but once a parent is aware of the syndrome life can improve for the child and those around them.  There are traits of the syndrome that can actually be capitalized on.

Answer 6

for you son u neeed to try to make him be nice to other children, or the rest of his life will be so difffercult n lony

let him cry for ahile there gona be no harm done, u need to stop bein so nice

Answer 7

This is not normal behaviour and i suggest that your sister either consult her GP or her health visitor. This poor little chap needs help. At best he may only be attention seeking but there could be something more serious wrong with him. Please encourange your sister to visit her GP, there is help out there

Answer 8

I would suggest she see a doctor about it. There could be more to it other than just a personality difference. I wouldn't say that's really 'normal' for a three old to not want to go anywhere or do anything. Most 3 year olds are eager to get out and about.

Answer 9

i would suggest a health visitor, or have you tried taking him to a tumble tots with loads of fun things for him to play on, he might start playing by himself at first and ignore the other children but when he sees how much fun all the children are having together he may want to start joining in.

it;s normal for children to go through this, my daughter was the same, she wouldnt let me out of her sight, or anyone near her toys etc, she screamed when a stranger entered the house, then suddenly stopped when they left, i started taking her to tumble tots, at first she wouldnt play so we just sat and had a coffee whilst we watched the other kids, she was soon joining in with them

Answer 10

it would do no harm to bring up your concerns in a conversation with your sister

she may be wondering the same thing herself but you will have to be  tactful.

it may just be a phase he is going through

I used to refuse to go on public transport when a child and as we didn't have a car it caused havoc

if its not a phase then the sooner med advice sought the better

Answer 11

Either your child is extremely shy, or he has had a bad experience with strangers. He is terrified of almost everyone, except his family members and familiar people.

Perhaps he could be autistic, but don't worry. He may grow out of the problem as soon as he attends preschool, or when he joins a playgroup. Some children are just less social, or they develop their social skills later than others, so it may not affect his future, and will probably improve before he reaches adulthood.

Arrange for your son to play with other friendly children. Try with only one or two children, then gradually increase the number of his playmates. Since he seems to be afraid of people that are older than him, try to let him interact with toddlers who are younger than him.

Then, encourage him to talk to kind and gentle adults who love children. Maybe when he begin to realize that others are trying to be nice to him, he may gradually open up and become more willing to communicate with others.

Hopefully, your son will soon break out of his social barrier. Good Luck to you and your son.

Answer 12

I know that it's very common, especially for boys, to be a home body at that age. I remember takeing care of my younger brother and he was very similar in his protective personality. (he also was growing up with three older sisters, that may be a difference.) He's still going through that phase that everything is 'mine'. Before spending money on a therapist or health advisor, talk to your sister about your own behavior modifying ideas. Like restrictions and time limits. like, 'you can only sit on the sofa for 5 min. then it's time to obey mum.' and if he starts screaming, let him scream. he'll wear himself out and start figuring out that that is one way that he wont get his way. Also when it comes to socializing with other children, take into consideration the whole 'home-body' feelings again. He obviously feels safe at home. start off there by bringing guests and children over there before expecting him to behave in public or at someone else's house. He's got to be tought how to act around people, what is polite, and especially the golden rule of do unto others as they would do unto you.

There has got to be books out there as well on modifying your child's behavior. Remind your sister that you are not trying to over step your boundaries as his uncle, but express your concern as she will be able to comprehend where your coming from, she is your sister and the mother and she's obviously noticed her son's behavior is a little extreme.