Is it Fair to get a foster kid so your child can have a playmate?

Question

sounds selfish but lots of people do it.... And is that option better than sitting in an orphanage?

Answer 1

No.

Answer 2

Um, have you asked this question before?

First, alot of people don't get foster kids so their other kids can have a playmate.  ALOT of decision and thought goes into fostering a child (or at least it should)

A foster child needs ALOT of time and attention and care.  

The reason to foster a child is because you want to give the child a lovely, stable home and a chance at a better life.

Not for your selfish needs to get the other kids out of your hair.  If you can't handle the children you already have, don't bring anymore home.

Answer 3

i personal thing it is fair because you are giving a life to another person who always wanted to have a better living that the orphanage

Answer 4

I don't think that you should adopt a child if you aren't prepared to love him/her as your own child and not just a toy for your child to play with.

Answer 5

If you have the room in your heart and in your family do it! So many kids need homes!

Just make sure you're treating the kid right. If your kid and that one dosen;'t get along, oh well. You have to deal with it. Can't be thought of as a toy you can trade in.

Answer 6

It is very unfair for the foster kid. That Kid should be adopted by a loving parents that will treat him as they own child, that is with lots of loving and caring. Adopt him as their own child not as servant for their own child. It doesn't necessary mean that it is right if a lot of people are doing it.

Answer 7

I don't see it selfish.  It seems to be the best way all the way around. Treat the other child as if it were your own and make him/her feel welcome.

Answer 8

As long as that's not the only reason you're doing it.  Those kids need a stable home life and lots of love, not just a playmate.

Answer 9

I think it's careless.  Foster children have special needs that need serious attention.  They aren't always the best playmates because they are raw and hurting.  They need a caring foster parent who is willing to help them.

Answer 10

I think that adopting so that a child already in the home can have a friend or a playmate is a disaster in the making.  I know some people do it, hopefully they are either weeded out in the process or become educated.  

Adoptees shouldn't come into the family with a job to fill, as it's been said over and over again.

Answer 11

No.  I don't think that's fair to the child at all.  I don't think it's a better option than sitting in an orphanage either.

Answer 12

As long as you treat the foster child like you would your own there is no problem with it. You are actually  killing two birds with one stone. Your child gets a playmate AND you help out the foster child by giving them a safe and secure home. You would be helping the child grow up in a regular environment that they might never have gotten if they were just left at the orphanage.

Answer 13

As long as you treat them like your own that's a great idea. I have 5 children I adopted and we all have a blast all day.

ML

Go For It!

Answer 14

i think it is not fair because if you want to have another child from the orphanage to play with then get a man and have a child with him or have playdates with your friends child you have to love him like its your very own son they have been through a lot of stuff donyt treat them like a doll

Answer 15

Treat the kid like yours, then no. But you better love it.

Answer 16

Okay, do you hear yourself?  Is it fair?!  h**l no, it's definitely not fair that they got stuck with a family who's only interest in fostering that child was to entertain their biological child.  

Go with your gut, "sounds selfish"...because it is.  Don't even pretend that they even care that it's better than being in an orphanage as their initial thought was not about fostering children it was how to get my child a playmate...live entertainment.

Answer 17

i mean don't just get one just so your son can have someone play with them!! have one because you want someone to look after and love and care for not just someone for your son!! if you want someone for son have another child of find him a friend with wanna of your friends of someone in the neighborhood

Answer 18

Fair?  No more fair than the millions upon millions of parents who have another child so their first will not be an only.  But if the motivation is to love and parent a child --first and foremost-- and then the added "benefit" is that the first child will have a sibling, then, well, that's probably the way most families are created.  And sometimes the "motivation" regarding having a child may not seem so pristine, yet the follow through can be outstanding.  And of course, sometimes, people are well motivated and turn out to be less than stellar parents.

Answer 19

as i see it if you are going to treat the foster child fairly then there is no problem... if you are treating the foster child as your child's plaything then that is not right

Answer 20

most foster kids live in homes, orphanages are not as common as you'd think..... your intentions should be to provide the best environment possible for the child. Chances are they've been through alot in their lives already and receving unequal treatment to a "wanted" child would be just one more kick in the as$. Let your child make their own friends....they'll gain confidence

Answer 21

Yup.  All adoptees seem to be assigned jobs upon entry into families.

Why should a rejected foster kid be adopted to be adored and nurtured?!

Just give her the job description, and tell her what your expectations are...

You are really.....something.

Answer 22

If that is your only reasoning for being a foster parent, please don't do it. These children come with baggage and you have to prepared to deal with this while treating this child with the respect and dignity they deserve.

Answer 23

i guess but its like just useing something not really wanting it why did it happen to you or someone you know??

Answer 24

as long as you care for the child as much as you do yours, sure

Answer 25

The foster child won't know but YOU should fell very guilty and if you don't, you obviously don't have much of a heart. The foster kid wants to be fostered for love and care. Not for a stupid playmate for your own kid. Your doing it for the wrong reasons, not because you actually are doing it out of the kindness of your heart. Your just doing it for your kid to have a playmate. WRONG, WRONG , WRONG.

If you decide to do that, by god, i hope you feel guilty.

Answer 26

Not if it's the sole reason to adopt.

Answer 27

Yes and no.  My sister got a foster kid thinking the same thing as you.  The foster kid proceeded to tear up her house and beat up her daughter (my neice).  Now, not all foster children act this way, however, it is important to keep in mind that a lot of these children have severe emotional issues and may not be suitable to be in the same house as your family.