Is it OK to have male friends?

Question

I am married and my husband is away a lot. However even when he is home he does not pay a lot of attention to me. I have talked about to him countless times but he says nothing is wrong.

I find myself wanting male attention and companionship. I just want to go out to dinner with a guy and feel special again. Am I wrong for wanting this and is it wrong to be friends with other guys? I am in no way planning to cheat on my husband. Vows are sacred to me.

Answer 1

I think it is generally ok to have male friends, but in your situation it is not. You are seeking all the stuff that isn't happening with your husband (dates, attention) and this will only lead you into trouble. Even if you don't "cheat" you could still have an emotional affair.

I have male friends, but I never go out one on one with one of them, because it just seems wrong to me (even if nothing happens). I spend time with them in group settings, or when another girl or my fiancee is there.  

Answer 2

I think you need to rethink this, you want to hang out with other guys because your husband doesn't give you what you need.

There is no wanting to feel special from someone other than your husband.

IF you feel the need to have guy friends to do things with they need to stay friends, you did say that your vows are sacred, what happens when another man makes you feel so special you think you love him?

Have friends, there is nothing wrong with.  Don't want something more than friendship that you can get from a girl out of it. Even if it is attention, you can get that from going dancing or hanging out with girl friends just as well as guy friends.

Are you sure all you want is a friend? It sounds like you are looking for another relationship.

Answer 3

It is not right for him to ignore you like that and not give you any attention when he is home.  You have to be very careful when it comes to going out to dinner with male friends. It not bad to have guy friends but trust me if you look for attention from other people sooner or later you will end up falling for that one person.  It would not be fair for your husband to find out that you met someone else while he is away.  Talk to him and let him know how you feel and make him realize that you feel that you are not getting the attention that you need and if he doesn't give it to you than you both need to go your separate ways.  My wife started hanging out with guy friends and said that they were just friends, i let it go and now we don't even sleep in the same bed because she found the single life more fun.  If you are looking for attention don't look anywhere else before talking to your husband first.  It sucks to not know what is happening and where things are going.  I know.......  Good luck!

Answer 4

No it's not ok to have this kind of friend. You are seeking a form on intimacy in another male and it's like playing with fire, you will get burnt. Things will not stay platonic forever . . . things can happen and marriage vows can be broken.  You want another man to make you feel special? once he does, you will feel more attached to him,

I would work on your marriage and if it doesn't get better, there is one word if you want all the things a woman should have: DIVORCE

Find a female friend to go out to dinner with and chat.

Answer 5

Yes it's ok  to have male friends but you need to be carefull with the way your feelings around your guy friends because you know it would be easy to get one of them to give that attention you want and crave for from your own husband.

Answer 6

no not at all and if your husband has issues about it, tell him he should act like a husband and not just a roommate

Answer 7

it happens to me too. when you feel unimportant to the very person you have a lifelong commitment . It hurts really.  I guess it is ok but as experience tells me. that meeting with others will get emotions to run high and eventually you will be develped to that other guy. But its up to you how you would handle it . ok? tkecare

Answer 8

Yes you can but you no. You will end up cheating on your husband. Emotionally you will fill the void with a side boyfriend. But also keep talking to your husband. Why not you take him out to heat for a change lol

Do this pull him along for like shopping or something then stop by a restaurant on the way home lol

Surprise! lol

Answer 9

WHY are you staying with a man that, to be blunt, isn't in to you anymore?

Friends are just friend and it doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman because friends don't fu*k and that is all that matters to your husband...

But what he is doing is wrong...

He may just want to relax when he gets home but still... he has a responsibility to uphold HIS HALF of the relationship and you seem to be the only one doing any work. That may even qualify as mental abuse... and you totally sound codependent.

Platonic love and platonic friends are always a positive addition to your life but using friends to try and replace your husband? That is heading down a path that will cause you much pain in the long run.

Try couples therapy and if he refuses to be an active part in the marriage then kick his bum to the curb girl... There is NO REASON to stay in a relationship that is unfulfilling... Fear of change is hard to get over but still... would you rather suffer in the short term to be happy or suffer in silence as he uses you forever.

Answer 10

well this is a tough situation...

to say whether or not it's ok to have male friends is not really my intention, thats a decision you will have to come up with on your own. I'm not here to condone or judge. however, I understand where you are coming from...

as humans we all have our basic needs that we strive to have met. just know that because you are having these feelings of male companionship and attention is an open door for the flesh to take over...even though you have good intentions of not "planning" to cheat on your husband, i believe that once you start getting that attention you are looking for it will lead to other feelings and desires because that need is being met ...in my oponion this is opening the door to an affair.  

you say you have tried talking to your hubby, have you told him directly and honestly how you feel? what you need? to give him a chance to make any changes to make you more of a priority?

also, how about relationships with other women or family members..this may help to fill some of the needs you are having.

Answer 11

Any friendships you make of the opposite s*x, should also be friends with your spouse. With that said, it is OK. Yes, you are normal and your hubby is a fool not to take the hint that he is opening a door he may not be able to shut in the future. Be careful.  

Answer 12

You want attention,don't it always start out that way before you find yourself in a interesting place,huh I don't know like his place doing something you said you will never do, all it takes is a physical attraction.

Answer 13

Did you ever hear of mental abuse ? Well that is mental cheating.