Is it REALLY the best option?

Question

I was recently married and we do not yet have any children. Just about everyone in our families extolls the virtues of homeschooling--though neither my husband or I were homeschooled. I like the idea of it. But, when I ask myself with total honesty how I feel about it, I don't think I can do it. I really don't believe I have it in me to homeschool my own kids when I have them. My husband hates the idea of putting our kids in public school, but there is no way we can afford a private school. Of course I want what is best for my kids, when I have them. But I don't know that I'm the one to educate them. Has anyone else felt really unsure about this an how did it influence your decision to homeschool or not to homeschool?

BTW-my husband and I have already discussed the means by which a homeschooled child can be socialized, such as boy/girl scouts, little league, etc. So that part is not much of a concern. It's the education itself that I don't know if I can do.

Answer 1

I think almost every homeschool parent goes through periods of concern about their childs academics.  None of us are experts in every area.   What I think is great is that you are actually thinking about this and talking with your husband before you have children.  Being honest with yourself is key.  Homeschooling may not be the best option for you, but looking into the options and talking to homeschool families may help you deal with some concerns about your ability to successfully teach your children.  I did not plan to homeschool before having my kids.  When I was pregnant with the first I just assumed I would go back to work when he went to Kindergarten.  Homeschooling was my husbands idea, and I thought he was nuts.  But the more I thought about it the more it appealed to me. It just became the next progression for us as a family.  Homeschooling, for us is a lifestyle choice, and we love it!  I have so enjoyed watching them learn and grow.  I've learned a lot too.  

So, you may not decide to homeschool, but continue to consider it an option.

Answer 2

Theres plenty of online resources for homeschooling so I wouldn't worry too much about the content part if you really want to home school your children. Personally I see no problem with public schools and wouldn't think about home schooling my children without a very good reason.

Answer 3

Hi! I'm a graduate of a homeschool program and I personally loved it.  

I really believe that those who are homeschooled are much more smarter than those in public schools, or even private schools. You can adjust the subjects to the needs of your child, and implement the knowledge, values, and character that you want in them.  Sadly, schools nowadays just concentrate on education, and forget the "molding" of a whole person.

All you need is commitment, patience, and a good firm hand.  My mom wasn't just my mom, she was my teacher. My dad wasn't just my dad, he was my principal. Not only have I gained good knowledge, I also gained my parents as my good friends, and confidantes. We've gotten closer ever since I was moved from private school to home-schooling.

At first, my parents were quite unsure, and felt uncapable. But then, in the end, we ended up regretting not starting earlier! My younger sister is more fortunate since she's having more time to develop under homeschooling.

Truthfully, it's not quite an easy job taking on your kids to be home-schooled, but then if you really do want what's best for them, you'll invest in them your time, your love and effort, and their education.

Education-wise? If you can motivate your child, with the proper guidance, and proper materials, it's no problem. Choose a homeschool program with high academic standards, and is accredited.  I was under the School of Tomorrow curriculum, you can visit their website at: www.aceministries.com.  You really don't have to teach the subjects yourself, it's more of self-teaching method, with some guidance from you; that builds self-confidence and responsibility of his own education in the child.

I'm a third year engineering student now, and I'm vouching for Magna Cu.m Laude. Most of my peers won't even believe I was home-schooled.  I never had any problems socially.  Trust me, homeschooling is a very good option. In the future, if I have any kids, you're sure to find them homeschooled and very happy with it. =)

I hope for the best in your decisions!

EDIT:

In addition, not only can they excel subject-wise, homeschooled kids get to hone their individual skills and talents.  I'm more musically inclined so I was able to learn and play proficiently classical piano, guitar, harp and violin.

Answer 4

We love to home school but for every family the decision made is different. It is up to you to research and decide what is best for your family.

I do have a comment about your first answerer. He said Public school is free! SAY WHAT!!!! Since when? Last I checked even though we don't utilize the school system our MONEY is still going to it. Last I checked there where still school supplies to buy. What about uniforms (in our area kids are in uniform), school fees, Field trips, PTA or PTO, School teams. Oh Graduation has cost my niece 1,500.00 for her cap and gown, invitations, class ring, announcements, pictures she hated, and so forth. Free? Give me a break!

Answer 5

Do yourself a favor and dont think about it now when you dont have any children yet. There are plenty of decisions to make when you have children- important decisions and homeschooling will be just one of many.

First have children. That's the first step. See what it's like to be a mother. See what it's like to love a child and have a relationship with a child. You will see that there are many things you will be able to teach your child even before he or she ever sets foot in any school. Your child will pick up English from you and your husband. Your child will ask you about everything "Mommy, what's dat?... what's dat?" and plenty of why questions. Why this and why that. As your child grows you will have more of a sense if you would like to continue teaching her/him. (all mothers are teachers, mothers who homeschool just continue that process) or if you feel more comfortable sending him/her to school.

But dont think about it now. Just enjoy your husband and relax.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with public schools. i dont understand why people hate them. i went to one and i loved it. You make alot of friends there and you learn just as much as anyone else would. Plus its FREE!!!

Answer 7

It depends on the student. Some children do best in home school, some best in hands-on school (Montessori or other whole-child programs), some best in traditional school. Just because your first child does well with one doesn't mean you need to stick with it for all your other children. Evaluate each of your children. You're going to start teaching them things long before they're school age. Look at what methods they learn best with.

Personally, I've always gone to public schools. You don't need to fear them. I went to a Montessori elementary school and had a great relationship with my 3 teachers and my 3 TAs. I had one teacher I didn't get along with well, so my parents quickly removed me from the class. And at my public high school, 99% of the graduating students graduate from college. So private isn't necessarily better than public. You don't need to feel forced into home schooling (if you determine that it would not be best for your child) just because you can't afford private school.

I'm pretty sure almost any parent could handle education through the elementary and perhaps the middle school level as well. Some of the home schooled kids I know were sent to my public school in 7th grade because their parents decided that they couldn't handle educating them alone anymore. And considering the classes that the eldest one of them takes (Calculus BC, Physics C) it'd be hard for any parent. if you don't know 100% of the material, there are tons of home schooling programs for you to turn to. My aunt used an online one during the year my cousin was home schooled. You can also get a tutor, but that might be a more expensive option, especially if you have different tutors for your children.

Answer 8

It's very common to feel unsure about your ability to homeschool until you've been doing it for a while. Although your family is pro-HS your personal experience is with school and there's a whole multi-million $ industry out there bent on convincing you that only qualified teachers can provide an education because it's in their interests that you do believe.

Think about it one step at a time. Start thinking about your child's educational needs from birth and by the time they reach 'school age' you'll find that carrying on the same way for the fist year is the most natural thing in the world. Year 2 will follow, and you know what, if you DO find that it's not for you there's nothing says you can't send your child to school in year 3 or 4 or when they get to high school age.

It really is so much easier than 'they' want you to think.

Answer 9

I've met a number of people who had the same fears you did. Typically, those types of fears are unfounded. Do you know how to parent a 13yo? Probably not, right? Is that going to stop you from having kids--your kids will be 13 at some point. Probably not, right? But after 12 years of experience raising a child, you'd probably still give it a shot, learn what you can to make things work well, etc., right?

It's not any different than homeschooling. Once you have your children, you will see how much stuff you'll already be teaching them. As they grow, so will you. Not to mention the fact that there's no need for you to do it entirely alone, and there are lots and lots of programs out there you can use that have everything guided for you if you need it. Or, you might even hit a point where you say, "You know what, I've done well up until now, but this is really over my head. We need to find another solution." That solution might be something like an online program or part-time or full-time schooling. But it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down the road.

Do you have it in you to teach your kids the colours? How to count? Maybe how to do something simple like 2 + 2? That a leaf is a leaf and the flower is a flower? How about reading to them? Telling them to say please and thank you? To tie their shoes? I'm guessing so. Is it that much of a leap to teach them what 2 - 2 is? Or 10 - 2? Or 10 x 2?

At the moment, it's almost as though the uncertainty factor is getting you more than anything. You do NOT need to decide now. Although I was quite sure that I wanted to homeschool when I was pregnant with my first, my husband, who came up with the idea on his own when our daughter was 6 months old, didn't commit to it until it was time to send her to gr. 1 and he said, "Okay, might as well continue!"

Furthermore, we do not see it as something that HAS to be done. If some year we feel it's just no longer the right thing, then so be it. At the moment, though, you are jumping the gun A LOT and potentially shutting something down due to a perception of having to know NOW, before you even have kids, if you'll be able to handle it or not. Keep it open as an option and when the time arrives where you have to decide, then decide. Although I would recommend connecting with homeschoolers at some point once you're at least pregnant, or with a child in tow. Get to know how different families make it work, get to know what a wide variety of resources there are out there for everybody.

As for it is really the best option, I believe it is for my kids. Each family is different. It is the best option because we are determined to make it the best option.

Answer 10

Think of it this way.  From the day they are born your are teaching your child and usually your not even thinking about it.  Why would that change as they get older?  What you are teaching them might change, but you as teacher is exactly the same.  Check out www.unschooling.com

Answer 11

Why not have your husband homeschool them while you work then?  I work part time and my DH homeschools on the days I work, wonderful way to share the job and our children benefit from it as well.  There is no reason in the world why he couldn't homeschool 100%, and I imagine the same goes for your husband.

As far as the one poster saying public schools are free - they most certainly are NOT.   Here in NJ we pay approximately $15,000 per student on average and many districts are higher, all the money comes from property taxes which are outrageously high.  Public schools are very expensive!  We homeschool for less than 2,000 per child, and they are getting a customized education with the best student to teacher ratio possible!

Answer 12

Well, you can't really imagine what it would be like to homeschool if you don't even have children yet...

What I suggest is that when you have kids, start teaching your child the Preschool stuff, you know, colors, letters, numbers.  Do it in fun, hands on, active ways... Then when it is time for Kindergarten, if you think you want to, try to homeschool through Kindergarten first, and then just play it year by year.

In the meantime, read some homeschool magazines, I like Homeschool Enrichment, but there are lots of others.

Also, if you want to find out more about the Public School system, here is a link to a free e-book on the subject, it will enlighten you as to why people sometimes say that Public Schools are bad.  

http://www.deliberatedumbingdown.com/

Answer 13

My biggest concern with your question

is not whether you eventually home school or not,

but whether you actually have children with a man

who is so rigid in his thinking

that he's not willing to investigate whether things have changed in the public schools

before declaring them off-limits.

Now THAT's scary!

Answer 14

Hello,

I was the same way when my children started school. My first daughter we actually made huge financial sacrifices for and she ended up going to a private school until grade 5. I told a home schooling friend of mine that I couldn't do it, that I wasn't smart enough etc. She assured me I could but did not push the issue. It was not until my oldest daughter 6th grade year when we could no longer afford to pay for her and my younger daughters tuition at the private school that we decided (after a miserably failed attempt to go ahead and let her be public schooled) to go ahead and home school. We were going to let my youngest stay in the private school up until 5th like we had done for the oldest, but after one short year of schooling my oldest at home- and seeing it wasn't as hard as I thought- we pulled out my second daughter and we home school both of them. We have NEVER looked back.

Keep in mind it is a lifestyle, not just school. Every minute is a learning minute, and it’s so fun! It is rewarding as well. I won't sit here and tell you it is easy, but NOTHING worth while is. It can be done though, even if you only have a High School diploma.

I have to tell you as well, I found out after bringing my oldest home that she did not even know how to tell time on a regular clock. I asked why they didn't tell me she was having a problem and she told me that the teacher said, "Oh, you will catch on later." Glad I wasted all that money on a private school!

Answer 15

The vast majority of homeschooling parents have the same questions you have.  Some people come to homeschooling after becoming familiar with the process by spending time with homeschoolers and reading various books on the subject - some of which may be at your local library.

Some parents come to homeschooling after reaching the conclusion that a school environment - whether public or private - is not the best way to education their children.

Others come to homeschooling after their child is abused at school.

Most new homeschoolers ask themselves, "Can I really do this?"  The answer is: if you want to, yes you can.

It is important that you and your husband agree on whether to homeschool your kids, or under what circumstances you would decide to take this step.

Information is the key.  To that end, I have linked you with some valuable resource reading.

Be well.

Answer 16

I have a very similar situation.  My only sister homeschools her kids.  My husband's sister homeschools her kids; as well, a couple others in our extended family.  We did not discuss homeschooling much before we had kids.  Both options scared me.  You know what I mean?  The thought of being responsible for my child's education overwhelmed me and sending them off worried me also.

When our first child got preschool age, we put him in 3k, 3 days a week.  I figured they could teach him to read and then I take over.  Or we would like it and stay there, and then go to public elementary school.  We have a great elementary school near us.  But the next year I knew I could continue what they had done (for a lot less money).  What they did with him (although very beneficial) was very basic/easy.  So we kept him home for 4K.  I figured I could at least do that and Kindergarten.  If I didn't like homeschooling after 2 years it would be very easy to register him in first grade at the local elementary school.

Well we LOVE it.  I am currently homeschooling my daughter in 2nd grade and my son in 3rd grade.  We take it 1 year at the time.  I really try not to think about teaching Calculus one day.  We will worry about that when we get there.  Homeschooling is not as hard as you would think.  No one could possibly know your kid as good as you do.  You know exactly what they need.  There is really no way to explain it.

For instance, math comes easy to my son, and not as much to my daughter.  When we did borrowing in math, I just explained it to my son and he got it.  When my daughter got to that, I could look on her face and tell she did not understand what I was explaining to her.  So I took a couple of minutes and cut up a bunch of drinking straws and made bundles of tens.  We used them as manipulatives and she learned borrowing with no trouble.

Well, I said all that to say,  don't worry about it now.  You will figure it out as you go.  Things seem to never go as we planned anyway.  Either way, you will do a great job.  Being a good/concerned parent is the first step.  Good luck.

Answer 17

This is something the two of you will have to research and decide on your own. I can only tell you that I had the same insecurities so I sent my child to public school for a few years. I regret that decision and wish I'd have homeschooled right out the gate.

That is my experience and yours may be very different.

A solution could be that you work as the bread winner and your husband homeschools the kids or you could take some classes and better prepare yourself for when the time comes to school the kids.