Is it a Legitimate excuse for someone to stay away from her only brother because his wife is "Bossy"

Question

HI, I am the "Bossy Wife" in a nut shell my sister-in-law says that they don't come over to visit us because I am bossy. Aparently one time when they were here I insisted to my husband to sit down & finish his coffe even after he said that he was finished. I guess there were other instances of my bossyness. She says that if I treat him that way when they are around how do I treat him when they aren't there.

I feel that my being "bossy" shouldn't stop her from seeing her brother. I think that when she has a chance she could confront my husband (somehow) & mention that she notice my being so bossy, so that he could reasure her or break down if it is really that bad. I think that it is just a crapy excuse to blame me because of other familiy problems.

Answer 1

I have a bossy SIL, cannot stand her. I have watched " IT" beat down my brother for the last few years since he made the mistake of saying "I do".

At first she was sweet and kind and family oriented. Then she landed the ring and "BAM" super "B".

Your husband sounds like my brother - beaten down into depression. Problem is, the SIL has alienated him from the rest of us - part of her control freak issue.

I want him to reach out to us and save himself. I know he is staying because of the children, but my sisters and I have saved money for him in case he should get his balls back and file for divorce. We willing to help pay for it, so my brother can lead a happy life and a find a kind and loving wife instead of the Gila monster married.

So yes, it is you, not other problems. You are the family problem.

Put your bossy, control freak issues at the door. Get a happy go lucky face, sit back and relax.

STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES.

And make nice and they will make nice too.

Answer 2

I have *itchy/bossy SIL too. I love my brother and my nieces but it is not worth it to me to come over and be hovered over and micromanaged. You seem to have control issues

you say

" I think that when she has a chance she could confront my husband (somehow) & mention that she notice my being so bossy, so that he could reasure her or break down if it is really that bad"

Obviously you think he needs to try to control his sister too! Get counseling for yourself- you will never be able to control everything. Your husband is a grown man and he can go see his sister w/o you- that would solve the problem too! You need to let him figure out when he is late he needs to quit hitting snooze, you are not responsible for his actions. Let him deal with his consequences of his actions you are doing him no favors by being a mother hen.

Answer 3

I don't think it is enough of a reason to stop seeing her brother. If my brother had a bossy wife I would still see him.. I would probably just prefer to see him by himself. If it really bothered me I would just ask him about it or if I saw something that I felt is really unnecessary then I would straight up talk to the wife about it. Sounds like a convenient thing to blame on some other problem, talk to her about it.