Is it a bad idea to have a baby already?

Question

my girlfriend is 17 and im 17. we've been together since 2005 but ive known her since i was 3 years old. recently she told me she wanted to have a kid already because she really likes kids and well since i like kids i thought it be a great idea. but im sure everyone else is gonna think that were stupid and that we werent being careful enough and that really bothers me because i would want people to feel happy for us, not the other way around. plus, i love my girlfriend and i am gonna get a job soon so incase we decide to go for it i can save up money for when the baby is born, the last thing i want is my parents feeling that their the ones that are gonna have to support the baby.

so my question is, are the adults right about how this whole baby thing is a stupid idea because were too young?

Answer 1

yes and no.i think if ur old enough to have a CARRER not a job but an actul carrer then go for it. but u need to be at your "carrer" job for at lest a year. and u need to be old enough to be able to get ur own house. and it cost A LOT to have a baby. and i dont mean like dippers and c**p i mean the docters bills for the girl. she has to go to the doc ever month for 7 months and then every to weeks until she is 8 months and then every week. and all the pills they put u on. and then the delivery its self.i as 19 when i had my baby boy. and only 18 when i had to go to all my doc apointments. but im married to an airforce man so everything was paid for us and we are still in debt because of the after word c**p

Answer 2

Well I was 20 when I had my little girl and I have to tell you it is sooo hard. You should wait til you settle down in a home you want to be in for a while and make sure you can afford rent, electric, gas, food, diapers, your own personal needs, water, cable....that stuff does not come cheap and if have a child to soon, you will end up in poverty like most young parents...aka myself. What about your education? You can still go to college but theres no time for a family and school and work. Just think long and hard before you make up your mind.

Answer 3

i am 17 and i have a 5 month old baby before i got pregnant i was just like ur girlfriend wanting a baby because i like kids but having a baby is a HUGE responsibility and i used to be captain of the dance team and i used to be in band but i chose to give all if that up for a baby and well i just hope that y'all would wait having a baby so young causes a lot of fights and stress.Don;t get me wrong  A baby is a miracle and a great experience i love my son soooooo much but i sometimes wish i could have waited But since i can't change things i live my life and choose what i think is best for my son and i think my son was a miracle

Answer 4

The adults are right.  Just wait.  You guys have so much time.  Take your time.  Go to school.  Get established.  Get married.  Then have your kids.  Enjoy your youth.  Enjoy each other.  Travel.  Have fun.  Get a dog.  

Answer 5

WAIT!!! I love my husband & my daughter but once you have kids you can never go back. Go to college, get married, explore the world around you, buy a house then talk about it. The more good life experience you have the better parent you'll be. Having kids is not about you or your girlfriend. Its about the baby. Having a baby will change EVERY THING in your life. Are you ready to see the inside of your vehicle, your work place & your home & nothing more for the next few years. Just wait. You'll be happy you did.

There are many wonderful things about being a parent but you'll love it even more if you don't feel like it took something from you.

Just wait!!!

Answer 6

yes. have you watched the show the baby borrowers? the show's concept is about teens having babies.

You are way too young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Raising a baby is really expensive.

Go and live your life. Please do not make babies!

Answer 7

Believe me you have so much time to have a baby!  Hows this give it 2 years from today.  If your gf and you are still together and want the same thing then go for it.  I can't even begin to tell you how much work a baby is, enjoy time for just you guys right now!  I'm sure you'll make great parents but give it time BELIEVE me.

Answer 8

Dont worry so much about what other people think, worry about what is right for you.

But think about one thing please, i know you both really like kids and all but thats not the only thing that matters.

You have to support a child until he/she is 18 years old. You have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed and change the baby and a job at McDonalds wont support you, your girlfriend, and your child.

There is so much more to becoming a parent. But, if you think this is what you really want and you think you can do it more power to you and good luck.

Your best bet would probably be to get a job and have your girlfriend get one and save up some money before you start trying.

Good luck and make the decision that is right for you and your girlfriend, not for everyone else.

Answer 9

if you can have savings in the bank and still support a baby and girlfriend then thats a good sighn your ready! living in a secure long tern place is the next step to being ready and mature to have a baby. 17 is a okey age but make sure you sus out together time before the baby comes or trust me your relationship will be verry strained. show others youve got these things sorted and youll have full support!! good luck.

Answer 10

i got pregnant at 17, and it's h**l!

i love my son to death,

but now my life is over...

i haven't been able to go out and have fun in almost 6 months...

if i'm lucky I'll get to go out with friends 5 times a year... no joke!

don't do it wait a few years...

23 is a good age...

Answer 11

First of all, you are still in high school and you have to think about your near futures and the area your living in.  Will you have support?  Are you going to college?  Are you IN love with your girlfriend and are you both fully committed to having a child, taking care of one another, and planning on being together for a long, long time?  Ask yourself all these than decide whether your mature enough for a child at this stage in your life.  17 is just a number and I'm currently 18 talking about having children with my fiance so just prepare yourself.  Talk about it in depth.

Answer 12

Yes first get a job then married then have a baby if you had it now that will be a bad idea.

Answer 13

Having a child is a big decision, and it can't be based on your love for kids.  Wit until you finish your education, get married, and have a good paying job.  17 is not a good age to become a parent.  Since you both love kids help out at a daycare, or volunteer in the hospital nursery that way you can see how hard it really is.

Answer 14

It is not "stupid."  It is smart that you start asking questions before you have a baby.   Keep in mind that your brain is still developing, especially the part that makes these type of decisions.  You should probably wait until you are fully grown.

For now, sit down with a  pad of paper and a phone.

Figure out how much it is going to cost for a place to live, don't guess, call some places.  

Find out how much a car costs, insurance, gas, repairs.  Maybe a book on budgets would help.

How about medical care for you?  for the baby?  

Now, find someone that will pay a 17 or 18 year old that kind of money.

You should discover that is is almost impossible for you to make it on your own unless you want to live in the streets.

Why dont you finish school and college so you can give your child a mother why can provide for him or her.  Fine a good man that will love you and marry him.  After a couple years, start a family.

Having a baby when you are not socially, physically or emotionally ready will make the rest of your life a nightmare.

That is how it is done.

Go work in a daycare so you can have some fun with the young ones.  Buy a puppy for something to take care of at hone.

Remember, once you have a baby, there is no backing out.  You are stuck for the rest of your life.

Answer 15

h**l YEAH THEY ARE RIGHT!!! I AM 19 YEARS OLD AND I HAVE A 4 MONTH OLD. I LOVE him with my whole heart and couldnt love anything more....but my life is consumed by him..I am not complaining...But there is no free time, no days off, my time to myself is a shower...There is no going out...there is no stress free life anymore lol EVerything that used to seem so small seems like a gift now, especially sleep. I am a single mother so it is a little tougher, but I personally think you should live your life more. You have your whole life to have children. And you will feel guilty for not being able to give you baby your own home to live in, and their own room. And being so young, i still get the urges to go out, but i cant do that without feeling guilty. It is very hard to raise a baby when you are so young. You dont even know who YOU are yet. I learn so much about myself through my son. But its more like I wish I had more time to make myself a better person, so he could have came in to the world with me being better then me doing all the learning with him here. I feel he is so precious i wish i could give him more, he deserves the world...and ill do my d**n hardest to give it to him BUT it is a h**l of a lot easier when you have 25 + years behind you than 17.

Answer 16

If you really like her and know that theres not a good chance of you two ever spliting up then go for it u seem resonisble enough, although i would consider marrage first. Remember do whats best 4 the kid.

Answer 17

Yes, adults are right.  Get a job, get MARRIED, save up (you will never have enough lol, but save anyway!), and then welcome your baby into the world.  Have fun, enjoy your youth...it only happens once, and if you try to relive it later, your baby will pay the price!  Have your gf go and get a job as a mothers helper on weekends or afternoons, then she can see the reality of a baby.  They are a blessing, but a lot of work.

Answer 18

in my opinion u guys should wait atleast till u get a job first, b-cause its not just the baby that ur gonna support its ur girl too... its like starting a new life  

Answer 19

Possibly wait until you have a steady job, and this is old fashioned, but until you guys are married?

Babies are so expensive, and they require a huge commitment.

A regular income will help support a family, and pay for the never ending diapers.

Just make sure you give it a h**l of a lot of thought.

Good Luck :)