Is it a good idea to have a baby at 21?

Question

I’m 21 years old and I always thought I wanted kids early (like around my current age), but recently, I’m beginning to change my mind... I feel like I have so much ahead of me that would be impossible to accomplish if I had a kid (like getting a Master’s Degree & traveling...). The problem is that my boyfriend (who’s 24) is trying to get me pregnant…!

My questions are:

1) Is it justified on my part to feel like if I DID get pregnant, my life (and all the things I want to do in it) would be cut short?

2) Is it better to have a child when you’re YOUNGER (early 20s) or OLDER (late 20s/early 30s)?

Any comments welcome (especially from your experience!). Thank-you =)

Answer 1

to answer the question in the topic: I had my first son at 21. I don't think it's a bad thing. Babies come when babies come.

to question 1.) if you do get pregnant, you would be still able to travel, get a masters degree, do whatever you feel like doing, just with the added responsibility of having a child with you. Look at Angelina and Brad. Do they stop traveling when she is pregnant? Do you think that she would stop doing what she loves, because of a baby?

to question 2.) I can't really answer that too well, because I've had one kid at 21, one at 24, one at 28 and one at 29 years of age. (well, the last one isn't quite out yet). Some people say it makes you more patient to have a kid in your thirties. . .others say it drives you nuts. I can't say either way.

to talk about that man of yours. . Why would he want to get you pregnant? Have you told him how you feel about pregnancy and what you expect out of your younger years?

Answer 2

It doesn't matter 21 or 31, you don't sound 100% sure so you don't need a baby right now.  Your baby will deserve the best that you can give and if your not 100% sure or ready then your not going to give the best that you have.  your young so I say just wait.  Experience life by finishing school, starting your career, travel to exotic places and then think about starting a family.  Explain to your boyfriend that you want the 2 of you to have memories of adventure to share with your children and that you want to be able to afford your family and see what he says.

Answer 3

If you arent ready don't have a child.  It is really that simple.  Sounds like you have goals and it is okay to put those ahead of starting a family right now.  Now if you got pregnant that doesn't mean you can't still accomplish your goals but they will be more challenging.  I would just talk with your boyfriend and explain that you want to wait. The time that it is best to have a kid is when YOU are ready...if you were under 18 I would say wait until at minimum you were 18 but that isn't the case.  Good luck I hope this was helpful.

Answer 4

Your life will not be cut short. As long as you have your boyfriend, parents ect. You'll always have people to help. The only reason why your Boyfriend would want a kid is because he is 24. For ex. When your 24 and hes 27. You would want a kid. Cause you would feel your old enough. And thats how he feels

It is better to have a kid at a younger age. My mother's friend who is a RN nurse told me the best age to have a kid is at the ages between 16- 25. Because its when your body is the best. I personally won't let my kids have a kid at 16-19. But as long as there above 20, i find its ok. Depends if their mature enough. You seem pretty mature to me. Go ahead.

Answer 5

Well, i had my first child at 16... it was hard- very hard... but being a mom does not mean you cannot accomplish your goals in life... it will only take longer to do....

Answer 6

if your ready

Answer 7

If you feel like you want to wait then WAIT!  I don't think anyone should have a baby until they are completely ready.  It is a hard enough transition that you do not want to bring any disappointment or regret into it.  I chose to have my kids young but me and my husband both wanted it that way.  I have my priorities backwards for what most people think is the right way.  I wanted to have kids first and then go for my dream career.  I did go to one year of college first and I am working in many ways to get myself ready for my dream.  I have no regret and do not feel like I missed out on anything.  I never feel like I wish I was traveling by myself.  I love traveling with my kids.  Now my friend would be so dragged down if she had kids right now.  She loves going to clubs and drinking and going places alone with no tiers.  She loves her life and has no regret either.  She wants to be well into her 30's when she has kids and she thinks I am crazy but I do not pass judgment onto her.  I think people need to do what they want to do.  I know it makes things harder since your boyfriend wants a baby now but you should both be in agreement.  What about marriage?  Maybe that would be a step in the right direction for both of you but not getting into the commitment of having kids just yet.  This can take some time, to plan the wedding and go on a honeymoon and all that.  Just tell him you want to finish school first.  I don't see how anyone can argue with that.  I am not saying there is anything wrong with older mom's, everyone needs to do what they feel is right, but after 35 there are more health risks to worry about.  You said late 20's early 30's though so that is nothing for you to worry about.  If you get onto birth control, you don't even have to tell him if he is going to make a big deal about it.  Just go get the shot and be done with it for a year.  Well that's my opinion.  I would not have a baby until you are ready.

Answer 8

I am young and I get what your point is. I would wait. You have the rest of your life for a child. Enjoy yourself, build a relationship with YOURSELF and your boyfriend. Travel, experience establish yourself and your career. When that stage in your life is diminishing, or when things feel right, you can have a baby. If your boyfriend loves u, he will understand. Talk to him about it. Greatest of luck girl xxxx

PS http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

can any1 answer my q? thanks a ton!

Answer 9

Its up to you and when your time is ready! Are you guys stable and make enough to take care of a baby? Have you done all the traveling and stuff you would like to do for a while (its really hard to travel with a newborn but when they get older its easier) I am 25 and we had our first baby at 21 but my husband was in the military and it was the right time for us. We wanted all of our kids young before 25 so we made sure we where ready! Its up to you guys though! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

Having a baby is not the end of your life, its the beginning!! But if your not ready, then you dont need to be justified. You feel how you feel, and thats it.

Dont rush into if your not ready, you might feel bitter later in life.

I had my daughter at 21 and I love it, I wouldn't want to wait till my 30's but thats just me!

Good luck!

Answer 11

I do know these things from experience. My fiance and I I had our first son when I was 18 and our second son when I was 23. I'm 24 now and I can tell you, my life defniately is not over. It does take more planning to get things done, but I've still managed to have a life and go to college just like everyone else I know my age who doesn't have kids. Especially if you have any friends or family who are willing to babysit sometimes and stuff. If you want to wait a bit longer, there's nothing wrong with that either though. The prime age to have kids is early 20's to about 30. Once you hit 35, you're considered advanced maternal age. All that means is that the chance of having a baby with Down's Syndrome and some other mental issues goes up slighly. Not a lot..just a little. A 21 year old female body is perfectly capable of substaining a healthy pregnancy. I will say this though..traveling and partying and al that means nothing anymore when you have kids. I feel like I have much more purpose to my life than my friends who don't have kids do. Their idea of fun is going to a bar and tipping some drinks back, which is still fun to me as well, but doesn't compare to the moments I have taking my boys to the park and swimming and watching them play and grow. Just think about it and do what's right for you.

Answer 12

no you got you whole life ahead of you

Answer 13

OK! Girl take your time. How is he trying to get you pregnant? If he respects you it will be a mutual agreement.  He shouldn't want you to get pregnant if you are not ready. That's a disaster waiting to happen. Go to college, get married, then have children. Good luck