Is it a good idea to move near my husband while he's in AIT?

Question

He wants me to move there, but I'm having mixed opinions we have a 2 month old son. He is gonna be gone for 18+ weeks. I need some straight answers and no insults please

Answer 1

When my husband was in AIT he had already been gone for 6 months since he had gotten hurt in basic.  His AIT lasted I believe 18 weeks as well if not longer.  I would just wait, 18 weeks is just a drop in the bucket.  I know you both miss each other, but your gonna need to start getting ready for your first duty station.  Cuz when those orders come in you've only got 10 days to move.  Also don't be surprised if your orders change at the last minute.  We were all set to go to Fort Drum, then less than a week before he graduated his orders changed to Fort Campbell.  But back to the AIT, don't worry about it, he can have a cell phone and should be able to call you a lot more.  

Answer 2

Ok i will give you the straight answer as best i can. I am in ait right now, my mos is 48 weeks long and my wife was allowed to move here free of charge on the military. I currently live in base housing with my wife. Honestly it is not worth the struggle, you will end up putting your child through more stress by having to move so many times. The army pays to move you on the basis of where you live and if that location on file is different from the one you will be living at, you will get money according to how far his next duty station is from your old address, that could be a disaster for you and your husband. Personally i would stay back home and use the money he sends back to make sure your finances are in correct order instead of using it to move closer to him. 18 weeks is really no big deal for the army and you should feel blessed that he chose a short mos training. Let him finish ait without you and it will make your marriage stronger for when you have to spend up to a year apart.

Also, My wife says she would have rather stayed home near her family because with your husband in ait, all of his time is taken up by the army and you will still be doing everything. Without any family to help, it is an uphill battle with a 2 month old when you are by yourself and dont know anyone. It would be very depressing for you as well as your child and your husband cant do anything about it. I recommend you go see him on a 4 day weekend or he comes to see you, its a brief interaction with the person you love but well worth it and cheaper than moving.

Answer 3

This is NOT a good idea.....

Not only will he be very busy but you might tempt him to break rules and get into trouble. You are letting your "wants" to endanger his career and your families future.  

AIT is very demanding .....he will be very tired and not only need to get his rest but need to focus on the training.... he will be tested and he does NOT want to fail.... the consequences might be severe

BTW What MOS is he training for ? 18+ weeks ?

Answer 4

After AIT he will be moved again.  He will be very busy during his AIT.  You probably not spend the money to move as he, in a short time, will be moved again, maybe to a place a long way away.

Answer 5

If his AIT is 20+ weeks, then it is considered a Military Move and the Gov't will move you at their expense.  You could possibly be put in Gov't Quarters or have the option of Private Rental... check with the Kasern on that (Housing Office)....

As for disrupting his AIT, it will only happen if you or him allow it to.  And if it does, then the fallout is he gets things taken from him:  you know, not able to see you...

Answer 6

It's really a decision for the two of you. He may need you to move out there to help support him and keep him out of trouble. It's easier for a guy to explain why he doesn't want to go to the strip club if he can just say, "I have to go visit my wife" He won't get teased as much as just sitting there and not hanging out with them. It will be financially all on you the military will not pay for travel or housing so do you have those kind of finances? Also you aren't going to have any friends there so you will be simply waiting around for he weekends and such. I moved out for my husbands it was almost 6 months and I was there for the last 3. I needed to be there for him and financially we could afford it. So we did it, We didn't have any kids at the time though. I would say it really helped our marriage.

Answer 7

it's really up to you and how much you're willing to do. After AIT he will be moving again, and wont know where until closer too his graduation date. Some AIT had an option for soldiers with families near that post to live with their families and just go to AIT. However, even with this option, we will probably be working very very long hours, for mine...about 0500 untill 2000 or so that ed have to be there. The army will not pay for you to move there and probably wont authorize you on post housing while he's there and his unit may or may not allow him to live with you during training. He will probably have some passes, also dependent on his AIT. It's really up to how much you're willing to do and put up with regarding it. You also need to keep in mind tat when he is off, he may need to use some of that time studying.

Answer 8

no stay away.

Stay at home where you are comfortable. He will not be able to assist you during his training. Plus all the military pigs will be hitting on you.

Answer 9

all expenses incurred will be out of pocket

BAH will be based on where you are SUPPOSED to be

you will LOSE Family Sep

He may not be permitted to live with you. Off base privileges can be lost at any time, especially if his grades suffer.  

his focus needs to be on school

they will only move your HHG to where his first duty station is from you you are SUPPOSED to be.  

You will NOT qualify to live in Military Family Housing.

you will be Space A( if indeed you can access it at all) for Base Medical.  

Answer 10

He will be very busy with school and should be focused on that.

The Army probably will not pay for you to move or be there.

18 weeks is nothing; you honestly need to start getting used to living independently from him - he will be deploying for 2 years shortly.

Answer 11

Only if you want to move again once he's assigned his first permanent duty station (which more than likely will be far away from where ever he has AIT).

Honestly though... You're better off staying where you are and going to visit him on weekends if you're close enough. If not... consider it practice for when he has 12-15 month deployments.

Answer 12

no

Answer 13

If it were me I wouldn't move. My reasons come from being the wife. Chances are you wont see him much at all. You will be spending a lot of money out of your pocket to be closer to him and not really see him much. Sometimes thats worse. I would stay where you are now. save the money you will need to move to where you will be stationed. I cant blame you and him for wanting to be closer but in my opinion its best for all to stay where your at.  

Answer 14

If he is going to be gone longer for 6 months the army will move you with him while he is in AIT.  If not you will have to pay for it.  You will get BAH....but it won't be any fun.  You will be living in a hotel probably...and yea you will see him on the weekends but he will be so tired from training he won't be any fun.  I know he wants you to be closer for your child's sake...but what is going to happen when he deploys?  You can't go with him.   Just stay where you are and let him go off to AIT and train.  Where is he going?  I am sure he will be fine on the weekends.  He will be able to call and if you invest in a laptop for him with a web cam and you have one too...then there ya go...ya'll can see each other.  I know it is not the same as in person...but in the army you have to do what have to do to get by.  

Answer 15

If you move down there it will be all at your own expense.  When he gets the orders to his first command the military will not pay you to move from his AIT school location but where you are suppose to be, so you will have to do that part on your own expense as well.

Your dh will be restricted to what time he has off, often not allowed to leave the base until a certain week.  That can be taken away as well if someone breaks the rules.

If your child needs to go in for check ups then it will be necessary to be seen off base at a civilian provider as you might not be able to be seen on base at the clinic or hospital.  

Answer 16

I knew a soldier who did it at my AIT, I think they had relatives close by and he would drive to formation in the morrning (he lived off post with the relatives) and shower off post and drive back to school (or maybe he stayed there and showered on post with his required uniform in his car, I can;t remember) and do what was required for that day, he missed out on cleanign the barracks when we got in trouble. If you can afford it, I don;t see why not and your husband has a vehical, then why not, and you can find a place to stay (preferably relatives) then go for it.

Answer 17

You could but he won't be eligible for post housing, he will have to stay in the barracks.  Also, he will probably have to get a pass to come see you since you would have an off-post apartment.  You would have to consider the lease for the apartment since most apartments have a minimum six-month lease and him PCSing to his permanent duty station isn't considered a valid reason to break the lease for most renters, especially if your name is on the lease and not his.  If he will be stationed at that base after AIT then it would be okay since you would be getting a head start.  If you still want to move there I would suggest seeing what hotels have a monthly rate but don't expect to see him more than once or twice a week.

Answer 18

I think there are several factors to seriously consider.  The first is financial.  While you will get BAH to cover rent, you will get no money or assitance from the military for the actual move or to place the bulk of your household items in storage.  To be honest, newly enlisted pay and BAH is not high, so the costs of the move and storage could eat away at any cushion you may have in your budget.  Next would be the effect and stress on you and the baby of moving twice in so short an amount of time.  18 weeks is not long really...you would really just be getting settled when it would be time to head back home to co-ordinate the upcoming (and far more complex move) to your first duty station.  IMO it is far better to use the 18 weeks to go through your household, clear out what you don't want or need, prioritize what you want to bring or store and in general spend the time with family...depending where you are sent, it could be a fair amount of time before you get to visit again.  Your husband is going to be involved in an intensive educational program.  Aside from the daily classes, there will be mandatory study groups, activities to build unit strength and a lot of classwork and homework involved.  You will be on your own most of the time and it is safe to say even part of the weekends will be taken up with class activities.  Being apart is certainly part of the military, but at this point the seperation is short and you can stay where you have the support of family and friends..something that you may find yourself without when a longer seperation comes along.  While you will miss your spouse and you are worried that he will miss so much with your son, your emotional and mental health, as well as the ability to make the primary change of duty move as smooth and easy on your child as possible should be the focus at the moment.