Is it a mistake to be good to people that are bad to you?

Question

I used to think it was the right way to behave.

Now I think I'm changing my mind. I think that it's a mistake to be good to people that have always been and keep being horrible to you.

What do you think?

Answer 1

It is right to be good to people even if they aren't good to you.  It is the Godly way.  You should treat people like you would like to be treated.  If they are mean to you then just turn the other cheek.  Don't stoop to their level by being mean back.  Set a good example.

Answer 2

Be careful in evaluating what is "good." It's not the same as "pleasing" people.

Being good to people might mean giving a corrective comment, or even in extreme cases getting help like a teacher, or even the law. Many an ex con has said that a run in with the law was the only thing that saved them from their bad ways....

And expecting a return from them for treating them well is probably not what is considered treating people with goodness. That is more like bribery, or servile behavior to avoid mistreatment.

This being said, No, it's not a mistake to be good to people that are bad to you.  

Answer 3

it's not a mistake but natural instincts. If someone was bad to me by motto is to be indefferent. Indefference is worse than hate, because you don't hate them, you don't love them. They don't exist for you. It's the worse.

Answer 4

why would you want to be good to them, if you let them get by with it thay will thank thay can aways treat you like that thay are not richer, smarter, or better looking are thay, never let anyone put you down,

Answer 5

To be thoughtful is a way of life.  When you stop to being good and reduced yourself to become them.  And you might miss a lot of opportunities simply others now view you as bad.  

You can still be good and thoughtful and at the same time be firm that you do not allow other to treat you badly.  By doing so,you can choose to let go of this person or reduce the depth and intensity of your contact with the person.

Answer 6

It depends what you consider good, for me i consider good being neutral, and everything else I didnt consider to act good towards is considered bad, because your purposely trying not to be good. doing nothing is doing something.

and if youre going to be xtra nice, then thats a whole different story.

I say be good to him and everybody else, but dont treat him that extra effort from you because people should get what they deserve, rather... channel that energy to someone who actually does.

if you stay on this road your sending signals to them that its alright.

its always best to let them know how you feel, but that shouldnt stop you from still being your nice old self

Answer 7

I think not.

Constant equanimity is among the higher tenets of spirituality.

If this horribleness is constant from the same person, then you might wanna avoid him or her, or have a decent, very polite discussion, explaining in simple words how bad u feel because of his doings.

Pray.

Have faith in God.

But if ur in danger or something, and he seems to have lost sensibility, give him a bloody good thrashing. :D

Answer 8

people that are horrible or done mean things to me i just end up ignoring them. i'm not being nice to them nor mean. i mean why be around people that produce negative attitudes towards you. so i just rather them live their lives and i live my own.  

Answer 9

It's no great moral/ethical stretch to treat those who are good to you well. It is, however, quite a stretch of your own personal morals and ethics to treat well those who are not good to you.

Only you can decide if its a mistake or not. Asked for my opinion, I'd say no, its not a mistake.

"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." Epictetus

"Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so"

William Shakespeare

Answer 10

I think you are now wrong. You first have to burn yourself inside before you speak or do any bad thing.So first you destroy yourself then only you can behave bad.You gain nothing and also you end any chance of a good relationship with that person for the future.

Answer 11

It is never a mistake to be good to people. That said it is a mistake to allow people to be bad to you and use you. People treat you the way you let them. Expect better, ask for better and you will get it, if not then avoid contact with them if possible. You are worthy of goodness.

Answer 12

Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't

Answer 13

No..its courageous.  I was taught to pray for the people who I didnt like or who were bad to me.  Its easy to pray for the people you love, but harder to pray for those who have hurt you.  

Answer 14

You should still treat bad people well. If they're mean, it's on them. It shows that you really are a nice person, no matter how nasty the other person is. Also, it kind of confuses the person and plays with their mind, which is always fun. Hope I helped! Good luck!

-Shmoog

Answer 15

For you it is a sure path to godliness, and for those who are bad to you a possible path to goodness. Giving t*t for tat makes YOU bad, and them persist in badness.

Answer 16

Being good to people who aren't good to you just means your a bigger and better person, you should be proud of that! being bad to a person that is bad to you brings you down to their level.

Answer 17

This may be only an idea..

But I think it's a better way to have these kind of matters fairly weigh. Being too much good to those who wronged your person may do possibly create a sense of self deprivation. We have all barriers for protection of our own self dignity and respect. Those little hurts may gather up forming into a big bunch of hatred in your heart then finding oneself exploding at the end of your patience in bitterness and pain.

Maybe it may be good too at times we may bump with other's thoughts in a way it would be not so harmful or brutal like ending up in violence. But for just a righteous cause for a discussion or maybe a proper yet civilized argument to open up each other's mind and ways for the purpose of settling some misunderstandings. By that way, we can learn more to adjust with each other's personality traits or differences of minds and views in our way of life. We may get to have others be aware of that even a cause of differences can build a better way of living with our relationship with eachother. When there is more patience and enough understanding existing in between us.

Maybe at times we need to be or even oftenly and always have to be true to ourselves and to others too isn't really a bad idea at all.

Answer 18

I think using NLP Psycholingustic language skills and persuasion you will find that it is indfeed neccesary to be good to people that are bad to you!

In this way you will build a path for them to walk and talk and behave and think when they are in front of you!

Their brain landscape wil be ful of your positive actions and he or she will never have any reasons to retaliate, get back to you about anythink and so on, all that comes from  those brutal social warefares!

Still when you say that at some point you see that with some there is no point, I can see that it means that you have done all of this, and the other person gives nothing back!

I got a situation like this! But while I give 10 I get only 2- and am glad that at least we are not engagin in any other things! Sometimes i get surprised to get like 3 but to expect to get the 10 point of kindness that I invested in this particula\r person is not gona happen I will just be dissapointed!

The things is that i also know how to retaliate as well!

That is an art of its own, and will save u from loosing to much energy in being good and kind!

But its dangerous and its needs lots of practice (I recomend any books by Rober Greene like the 48 laws, Seduction and 33 Strategies..)

In the mean time kep on being nice and never lose heart!

Do not become mean, it will show on your face, you will look bad!and then it will eat u away from the love that u need in your life!

Answer 19

It is a mistake to go against your nature.  A very big mistake!  

If your nature is good and you force yourself to be bad just to get even then be sure that you will become like them eventually.

I personally would like to have no truck with people who are deliberately bad to me rather than be like them.  But if I can not avoid them then I will do my duties regardless.  I will not be happy surely but there are things I won't compromise with.  I call these our Tests of Life.

Answer 20

you do not need to be good to people that are bad to you becuase that will encourage to do more bad.

you just have to ignore them, avoid them and do not encourage them.

it is just bad thing to do bed to the people that are bad.

ENjOY

Answer 21

i used to treat bad ppl very well but they were thinking that im stupid. a person have a level for tolerance so f u kept all these small hates in ur heart it will become big an eventually u'll blow, try to make everything clear with the other person then u'll feel much better

and i dont think that it is a mistake to treat ppl the same way they r treating u, it is a ppl's mistake that treat u like a **** and u didnt do anything bad for them

best of luck