Is it a tragedy for a child to be an "only child"?

Question

We have a young son, but due to fertility problems are very unlikely to be able to have anymore children (my age is also against us).

It makes me feel so sad that he won't have brothers and sisters to play with - I'd love to have had several children if I could.

Do children suffer from being only children? I feel so upset that he will miss out on having siblings.

Answer 1

I am also an only child and although I missed out on the arguments that sibling have I had all my parents love and devotion. I actually got jealous thinking I could not stand the thought of sharing my parents with anyone else. I had lots of cousins and friends that I would still recall as my sisters and brothers and that has mean't so much to me.

Answer 2

You shouldn't feel bad. Your child will not suffer from being an only child. I understand feeling sad that he won't have siblings, but just socialize him alot. He will be okay. I've know a few only child and a couple were great people and a couple weren't, just the normal way of things. I'm sure he will be okay. So sorry to hear bout  your troubles.

Answer 3

im an only child .it does not bother me .It bothers my mother more than me as she says im sorry your an only child, I wish we did adopt etc. But I dont know any different. It made me more sociable as I had to go out and make friends on holiday etc.When I moved in with my partner I found it hard in the beginning as suddenly I didn't have my own room but I adjusted .

Answer 4

Being an only child is not as bad as people make it out to be - it's worse for the parents than it is for the child, because the parents somehow think that they have let their child down by not giving them a playmate. When my parents got married 22 years ago, they planned on having 10 children - and, alas, they only ended up with one - me. My mother and father tried to conceive for about 10 years after I was born, and they even went to a fertility clinic and considered having in vitro fertilization. However, she didn't like the methods they used and found it inhumane.

I have always had other friends and never had a need for a sibling(s), and, never having known what it feels like to have a brother/sister, I never feel the desire to have one. (I'm 20 by the way, if that helps put you in perspective at all). Not once during my childhood did I ever wish for a sibling - my parents love and my friends were perfect, and I never would have had it any other way.

Your son will be fine - give all the love that you would give to multiple children to just him alone, and he'll be the happiest child in the world.

Answer 5

Im an only child and it can be  boring at times but it can have its peak points (dont have to share toys, room, ect.) but the problem with not having to share with other kids is that you will have to teach him to share and it will be a little dificult at first but after awhile he should begun to learn. It is also a plus if he has any cousins to let him play with them alot. I found it helped me with my social skills. A minus is that they might be a little shy with people they dont know that much. I hope this helps!!!!

Answer 6

im an only child and i think its great! i get my own space and privacy and dont have annoying siblings on my case all the time! im 16 so im pretty used to being an only child but when i was younger i was a bit sad about being an only child, because if i have a problem i find it hard to approach my parents and i feel that if i had an old sister or brother they would be easier to talk to. also for example going on holiday, it does get a bit boring just being me and my parents all the time and sometimes i do wish that i had siblings to take out and play with etc

basically it could go both ways. i think if your son doesnt know anything different from being an only child, he wont be too upset about being one as he has nothing else to compare it to.

i wouldnt say ive suffered from being an only child, i know one or too other only children and they seem to be totally fine with being an only child. i guess if you have siblings it would be hard to imagine being an only child and vice versa. as long as you make sure you give him enough attention and let him know when hes older that if he wants to talk he can come to you, he should be fine! instead of having siblings to play with, when i was young i often had my friends round after school and i went round to their houses a lot, if you do the same for your son i dont think he will miss out on having children to play with

i hope that helped :)

Answer 7

I am an only child and so is my partner and we don't feel we missed out on anything. We are both very close to our parents and we always had opportunities that maybe our friends didn't have.

Why don't you make friends with someone else with an only child and then you may not feel as if he is missing out.

Answer 8

Most people I know who were an only child are spoiled brats who think that the world revolves around them, and a lot of them have poor social skills (not saying that my social skills are the best either, but just something I noticed).

As long as you are careful not to spoil your child and make sure he socializes and he has friends to play with, he should be ok. If you have friends with children his age, maybe arrange for play dates?

Answer 9

only chrildren are socialized different becasue they do not have other chrildren their age around them. they are constantly surrounded by their parents and therefore become less playful and can act more adult. they also become used to being the center of attention from their parents,

have you considered adopting, its a great opertunity

Answer 10

Well, being an only child myself, my answer is no.

As long as you make sure that your child has friends, whether it be from daycare, a playgroup, church, family functions, whatever, then things will be fine.

I had tons of friends and I'm just fine.

I have one son and I'm not planning on having any more children.  I'm not worrying about him being an only child because he already has friends in daycare, as well as my group of friends all have kids within one year of each other.

Answer 11

Well, sometimes yes but most children enjoy it... spoil him.. make him feel special and mainly let him enjoy his friends and have them round alot! it really helps because if they see their friends so much.. being an only child can be a nice break. Make it something thats nice for him.

Answer 12

Well i suppose it would be normal for him, but having a sibling is the best (or the worst, depending on what they just did) You could always adopt. doesn't have to be a stranger. take in a disadvantaged family member and bring him/her up as your own.

Answer 13

no you shouldn't feel that way at all. as long as the child is around friend's and family as much as possible he should never feel alone or anything like that  i say just sit back and relax your more worried about it then he will be i'm sure.

Answer 14

I am an only child and I never suffered. In fact, because of it I grew more independent. When it is only you to do something, you realize that you have to try to do it yourself. I had a best friend who was my neighbor from age 6 who is still my best friend now and I am older than twenty years old. She was like a sister anyway. So, be sure to not move around. Pick a place your family loves and stay there at least until he is out of high school. That way he will make great friends!

Answer 15

Not at all! I had two sisters and we have our own issues from that :p Plus, I have lots of friends who were only children and they are perfectly normal, well-balanced people. They made friends and spent a lot of time with them to compensate. Don't worry too much x x

Answer 16

I think it depends on the child's personality. I'm quiet so I got a lot of hassle off my siblings and always wished I was an only child.    

If you're worried about your son being lonely, maybe you could introduce a pet into the family? They could grow up together and you wouldn't have to worry about them fighting either haha.

Answer 17

i couldn't imagine living without my siblings, yeah sure if im mad i wish i could be the only child, but i still love my siblings and have had tons of fun with them, you could look into adoption, but if you don't have anyother children, make sure and live in a neighborhood with lots of kids!

Answer 18

Absolutely not. Being an only child, or having siblings each has its own set of pros and cons.

I found this on Parentmap.com

After examining more than 100 studies of only children, Falbo concluded that they "scored significantly better than other groups in achievement motivation and personal adjustment." She says the findings probably are related to parents' attention, time and resources. "If you have one kid, they are more likely to get what they need," she says.

http://www.parentmap.com/content/view/18...

Answer 19

Dont worry. I have a younger brother and when we were kids i would have been quite happy to kill him sometimes. I grew up wondering if our parents loved him more than me. When i had my daughter i knew i was only going to have one and besides, everyone else has said it, he will get all your attention and fuss.

Answer 20

its a tragedy for people to have more children than they are willing and able to care for. but in your situation it is sad if you are a good mother wanting to have another child in your life.

your son wont suffer just make sure he interacts with children outside the home and enjoy him if hes the only one make the most of every second they grow up so fast x

Answer 21

I  have to say I would have loved to have had two children but I was only blessed with one and am now probably too old to have another. My daughter would probably say that she hasn't suffered in any way so if I were you I wouldn't worry too much about it and be thankful you have  one lovely boy.

Answer 22

We have 4 children and while they always have a playmate they do miss out on things to, they have to share their parents for a start, we can't always give them the best of everything as the money only stretches so far, I believe there are good and bad points to my and your situation, I am sure he will have plenty of friends at playgroup/school and then his mummy to himself when he gets home, as for it being a tragedy, absolutely not.

Answer 23

No ....don´t worry at all....I ´m 34 now.but I loved being an only child.Sometimes I got bored and wanted someone to play with,but now I´ve got 2 sons and they get bored as well even if they are two....so...do not worry at all.If you wish to have more children and you can´t....have you thought about adoption?

Just an idea....

Answer 24

I am an only child.  It has its downside but also some positives.  Because I had to amuse myself as a child, I am very resourceful as an adult and have taken to living on my own much better than most divorced or bereaved people do.  I am lucky to have had two children myself and have three grandchildren, with another one on the way.  Without them I would be struggling to find a reason for living as I have no parents or grandparents left.

Answer 25

i don't think so. i have many friends that are only children and they're fine. i also have friends that are in your situation and their kids are fine, too. they make sure the kids play with friends and cousins a lot.

Answer 26

I am an only child with an only child (he's 17). Neither of us have missed out on anything. We both have wonderful friends who are like family to us. In fact if anything we gained. We had financial stability that parents often can't ford with multiple children. We also had the complete attention of out parents. If we were going out somewhere we got the chance to choose who we wanted as our companions. We wouldn't of had it any other way.

Answer 27

I don't think its a tragedy lol. Its gonna be great for him. Spoil him. I cant tell you how many times when I was a little girl that I wished I was an only child. I had four sisters haha. No, I think it will be great for both of you

Answer 28

Some people say an only child is a lonely child.  His or her children won't have uncles and aunts or cousins. But there are advantages. . .

You're never going to get to adopt a child if you don't try...How about adopting a baby from Guatemala?  Can you adopt outside the country?

Answer 29

No it's not tragic, just make sure he has friends round to play with.

A note for much much later. It can be a bit of a strain on the older or adult only child as they can feel as if so much is expected of them and they have no one to share that burden of expection with,

Answer 30

It's by no means tragic.  You just have to make sure that your son has lots of friends to play with - make sure he goes to the local toddlers groups, play groups and that he hangs out with kids from school - he'll get all of the experiences he would from a brother or sister.  If you do this, he won't suffer any of the hangups associated with some only children...

Answer 31

Actually, most kids with siblings wish they were only children; I don't think they'd wish for a "tragedy". The only potential problem is that only children are almost always spoiled (they get all the attention, never learn to share, etc.), so if he isn't in school yet, you may want to make sure he plays with other children before he does start school so he isn't badly behaved in the classroom.