Is it alright to discpline other peoples children?

Question

i am not a mean person, but i am strict about children hitting or stealing toys from eachother. i have had to put my friends daughter in time out for hitting an infant when the baby touched the toy she was playing with. my friend just scowled at me, but she did nothing when her daughter did this but sigh and roll her eyes. i would never spank an other persons child but if their being bad i will put them in timeout, am i wrong for doing this if the other mother does nothing?

Answer 1

I don't think so, espeically in a situation like that. If the parent's won't do it, someone needs to. I have done this with my friends kids and they have done it to mine. It doesn't hurt the child and they learn from it. They need to learn at a young age hitting is not acceptable.

Answer 2

It's not really your child. I mean, you should talk to the mother.  Sometimes if you try to teach somebody else's child, they would be annoyed. You should talk to the mother. I mean, it IS her problem. And if she refused to listen, well...It's her child she's raising. And if she wants her child to be rude and badly-taught, that's her choice.

Answer 3

definitely especially if the parent(s) won't do so. i would not spank the child but will address him or her about his/her wrong behaviour and give him/her the reason why it is wrong. They need to learn about the consequences of their actions. If the behaviour really bothers me, i would mention it to them especially if it is in my house and there are great consequences for the misbehaviour (eg contaminating food with dirty hands, breaking things etc). They need to know that people have rules that need to be respected. It is so important to keep our standard high when it comes to good manners and we should all support that. If they get offended, that is a poor reflection on them not on us!

Answer 4

If they are at your home and the mother refuses to do anything then I dont see why you shouldn't.  Or you can just say to the parent.. Arent you going ot tell her to stop that ... Some parents just dont give a d**n....... this happened at my parents home.. years and years ago.. I was a teenager... my sister and friend came to visit with their kids... the friends son who was 5 climbed on my parents coffee table.... GLASS coffee table.... and the mother did nothing but smile.. as if she thought it was cute.. It was up to my sister to tell the kid to get off... and she picked him up.. she said the mum was a bit upset on the way home...But what do you want ... an unhappy mum or a child covered in shattered glass.....

Answer 5

It's more acceptable what that little girl did than what you did. She's just a kid she still has so much to learn from HER parents.  If the mother did nothing, that is her problem.  If she's your daughter, would you want other adult hit your child? If your discipline is solicited, you can, if not I think you were definitely wrong.

Answer 6

If they are in my home, they follow my rules. If a spanking is deserved, I will tell the parent the child has one coming. If the parent allows the child to behave poorly, I ask them to leave and not to bring their kid back. Hey, if it makes me a bad guy to protect my own home, then so be it.

Answer 7

I wouldn't spank another child (unless the child is a family member -- my nieces, nephews... when in my care when they were much younger, were spanked), but I would definitely correct them, depending on the situation.

At a local mall's play area, I saw a little girl pulling my daughter's hair and hitting her.  It continued, and I finally went over and told the little girl that it's not nice to do that, that's not how to play.

That was it.  No harsh words, nothing.  Just "That's not nice to do."

Answer 8

you can if you you are careful in the way you do it in

because the mother of the child may get upset or offended.

if you are looking after the child(babysitting) then ok, but if the mother is present, it maybe be best to leave it to her.

just think of it would you be upset if another mother put your child in time out.

Answer 9

Yes it is fine to discipline other peoples' children. But in my opinion, the way it is done makes a big difference. So e.g. if in my own home someone is fighting with my child, I take them together and talk to them together - both children are asked (told) not to fight, and to be nice, and I emphasise "both of you".

If someone is being clumsy around the baby, I ask them to be careful.

I think if someone's older child hit my baby, I would give the mother a chance to say something. If she didn't, I would probably pick up her child and place her by the mother, and say something like, please do not hit the baby, she's smaller than you and we have to be kind". So time-out - yes - but time out on her mother's knee. And if she repeated, I would say "if you can't be nice to the baby, you will have to sit on mummy's knee and not play." That respects the mother's role, but makes the point clearly - no-one bashes the baby!

That's if we were in my house.

If I was in someone else's house and someone's kid bashed my baby and their mother didn't take them in hand, I would ask the child not to hit the baby (calmly). If they did it again, I would take my children and leave - explaining to the older one why.

It's important to make your feelings felt before you let resentment build up - you can't be angry with children for hitting one another, they all do things like that, they have to test the boundaries to know where they are. But at the same time, you have to feed back a negative reaction - hit the baby and you get told off / aren't allowed to play.

so yeah.

But in other peoples' houses, I tend to be a bit less strict as you have to abide by other peoples' rules.

The bottom line is, though, if a child routinely misbehaves, you quit hanging out with them.

It is important to always get the whole story when disciplining children and not react hastily or in anger.

We recently had a 4y/o child who perpetually screamed at my 4y/o son - to the extend where she would "tell tales" so often it became a form of bullying.

"He HIT my HEAD" she howled the other day. Although she appeared physically unhurt, she was sobbing wildly and her mother instantly bristled with anger, how could my child hit hers! The other mum was all set to shout at my child, demanding discipline and telling her child that mine was naughty and should not be "hitting".

Familiar with her child's howling, I asked, "what with?"

"HIS NOSE!" she sobbed.

Around the corner, after an accidental collision (they ran into each other and bumped heads), stood my child silently crying, with frightened eyes and blood streaming down his face.

I would have thought a lot more highly of the other mum if she had kept calm, retained an open mind and a sense of perspective, and been prepared to offer kindness and a rational example.

At the end of the day, her tendency towards over-reaction has spurred her child to be over-reactive herself.

One thing is sure, what goes around comes around. So in all dealings with little monsters, be kind, calm, and if in doubt, offer a quiet cuddle and say, "I know you know how to be kind, I know you are good. So let's all play really nicely and have some fun together".

Remember, this is the person who will be looking after you when you are an old, toothless, senile creature in the years ahead - let's teach them kindness and calm, forgiveness and love.

Answer 10

I try not to discipline other people's children, as I know I wouldn't appreciate it. If one of my child's friends is being disruptive, I do tell them to stop. And if after a few warnings, they don't. Then I take them home, walk them to the door, and give the parents a written note that explains everything that happened. Now if I can't do that, like it's one of their out of town friends or one staying overnight because the parents aren't home. Then I may send them in another room to sit for some time and have a make-shift heart-to-heart with them, and see if the behavior improves.