Is it an act of love when...?

Question

Is it an act of love when a father signs relinquishment papers to give away his child to adoption?

(Inspired by the earlier question asking the same about a mother doing the same thing.)

Thank you for your thoughts!

Answer 1

No.

Answer 2

It really depends on the father. Warrior Mom response was good. My son's birth father volunterily relinquished/terminated his rights because the state was going to do it anyway. The wording in the TPR papers from what I've seen is much more favorable when TPR is voluntary rather than done so by the state.

Answer 3

To be honest, sometimes it is sometimes it isn't. If the father truly wants the baby to have a better life, then yes it is a good and loving thing.

But if the reasons are selfish, then it might be bad, but atleast the baby is still going to a nice home.

Answer 4

It certainly wasn't in my dads case. It was "how can I continue on partying and not be stuck with child support" as quickly as possible.

Answer 5

It's good if the parents feel they cannot parent properly. It could also make the child feel unloved, but if there has been parenting classes, counseling, etc and the parents cannot control the child then it is an act of love to turn it over to someone who can

Answer 6

Wish I could answer that one for you so I suppose it depends on his motives such as if he feels it's the best thing he can do for his child.

Answer 7

If the Father or Mother is unable or even unwilling to care for the child, then I think that it is a loving thing to let the child be raised by people that really want him or her. Granted not all adopted people experienced a happy childhood, I wonder if it wouldn't be worse if they were raised in a situation where some one could not meet their basic needs for whatever reason.

Answer 8

I don't think it's that simple a question.  I think it really depends on the reasons why he relinquishes his right and  allows the child to go up for adoption.

cw

Answer 9

Well I think that would depend on his motives but I'm willing to bet that 99% of them do this only so that they don't have to pay child support.....so no I would say that in most cases it's not an act of love when a father signs away his rights....

It would be interesting to see how many people,especially men, would be so eager to put their baby's up for adoption if they did in fact have to still pay child support....

and I'm not saying that they should have to ,I'm just saying if they did I bet not nearly as many people,especially guys would  do this is all....

as I said, I think most men only sign their rights away so that they won't have to pay child support....

Answer 10

My answer to this one will be quite different to the one about the mother.  I am a child support worker.  I see good dads, and see dads that never lay eyes on their children.  I see dads who would do anything for their chidlren, and I see dads who asked how to "sign away the rights" just so they won't have to pay child support.  So, I don't think there is a simple answer to that question.  I think that my answer is that mothers will always have regrets about losing their child to adoption, no matter what the circumstances.  I think that some fathers will never think about it again the rest of their lives, and some will regret it, or at least long to see how the child is doing.  But I don't think you can compare mothers and fathers.  That's my observation as a child support worker for 14 years.

Answer 11

If and only if it is for the child's best interest!!!! There are so many contributing factors that could make this right that I probably could list tons. On the hand, there are a million reasons I could find to make it wrong. If it really is for the child, and the child will benefit in life than it is okay.

Why would it be okay for the mother to have that right, and not the father. Well a mother has the choice to be a mother, and can order a man to get a DNA test even if he wants nothing to do with the child. Men are forced into situations they want nothing to do with, but women can give the child up for adoption, leave it places when its born, or get an abortion. I do not condone these things, and I am female. If I have the choice to be a mother, a father should have the same!

Answer 12

I only know one father, personally, who gave up rights to his child, so I'm far from an expert.  But the one man I do know who did this, gave up rights to his daughter, not out of love, but out of fear.  His daughter's mother made his life h**l, refused to let him see his daughter, and put his daughter through h**l until he finally agreed to give up his rights.  I don't know the whole story, but I do know that he felt there was no other choice.  He spent 14 years wondering how his daughter was doing, where she was, if she was alive...a part of him was missing every day.

His daughter found him about a month ago.  He couldn't be more happy.  The choice to reunite with her was made out of love.  The choice to give her up was NOT.