Is it appropriate to deduct funds from a gift at a cash bar wedding?

Question

I have to attend a wedding this weekend. I normally give 200.00 per wedding I attend as a standard gift.

Now, I just noticed the fine print on the wedding invitation I am attending this weekend and this wedding is a CASH BAR!

Considering I'm probably going to spend at least 75.00 on alcohol to get through the evening, is it appropriate to deduct this cost from the gift I will be giving?

I still think 125.00 is a nice enough gift...however I don't want to be inappropriate.

Please advise...

Answer 1

$125 is a nice gift in my opinion.  I also think cash bars are tacky!

Answer 2

It would be incredibly, jaw-droppingly cheap.

Answer 3

Perhaps you should bring a flask with you.

Yes, cash bars at weddings are tacky, but basing your wedding gift on the price spent on your meal and drinks are a pretty close second.

Answer 4

Personally, I think it's tackier giving a cash gift to someone getting married, unless they've specifically requested it (for example, many people these days ask towards a donation towards the honey moon/first house rather than a gift) than it is having a cash bar.

It says 'I can't be bothered to spend time looking for a gift for you'.

But no, your gift should be regardless of anything else; you don't give them a gift to thank them and pay back some of what they spent for the wedding, you give it to them to congratulate them.

Some couples just cannot afford to pay for an open bar-most people only have an open bar up to a certain point. I don't blame them for having a cash bar. Weddings are expensive enough without having people drink you dry.

Answer 5

After you drink 75.00 dollars worth of booze, you probably won't give a darn about the appropriateness, or lack of, so that sounds just fine to me! Are you seriously asking this question?  I don't go to many wedding's but it seems like you would want to give a thoughtful appropriate gift, regardless of how much alcohol you want to drink. Have fun, and beeee safe please.

Answer 6

You should give a gift because you want to not because it repays the cost of your meal etc.

Answer 7

Cash bars at a wedding are incredibly tacky.  I would Give $100, spend $25 on drinks through dinner, and leave after you are fed.  You still have $75 to spend at a better place later on that night

Answer 8

You expected the bride and groom to provide you $75+ in alcohol just for coming?  THAT'S why they are having a cash bar... because some family and friends want to chug the booze.  You should be lucky they even have a bar at all.  Some weddings just have a little bit of wine or beer or "special" fruit punch.  Give the bride and groom the $200, and drink at the cash bar in moderation.

Answer 9

So you give them the money to pay them back for the drinks and food you will consume at their wedding. Some people can't afford to buy every person $75 worth of booze at their wedding. They make it a cash bar to allow those that want to drink to be able to purchase alcohol. They could just have an alcohol free wedding. But regardless, you should give them whatever you feel like, just don't tell them, "hey, i only gave you $125 cuz you had a cash bar, if you would have had a host bar i would have given you $200!" They will most likely never know the difference, just you will.

Answer 10

Wow. you are a good friend, 200 is really nice of you.

Still 125.00 its pretty cool.

I have never heard of someone skimping out on a wedding present simply because there is a cash bar.

Give what you want to give.

Answer 11

That would be perfectly acceptable.  $125 sounds very generous.  You make me feel like a cheapskate.  .

Answer 12

personally do what you want. they don't know what you "typically" give so it's not like they're expecting anything from you. i think $125 is very generous and anyone who would complain is ungrateful.