Is it appropriate to exclude some relatives from a wedding guest list?

Question

I have a large extended family. One family of cousins grew up far away; I met them only once. Am I obligated to include them or may I invited only those cousins I grew up with?

Answer 1

Your wedding is a celebration in which you want your friends and immediate family to take part in. Yes there are always some exceptions as you must deal with inviting some guests because the parents want them there. Your cousins don't really know you and you don't really know them. Why would they be expecting an invitation from you and spend all that money to travel to the celebration. There is a possibility that they may even interpret that you are looking just for a gift from them. In this case I would say it would be quite appropriate not to invite them.  

Answer 2

if you're paying, then you decide who is invited.. its not possible to invite literally EVERY friend and relative, so you have to make choices..

since you only met them once, it doesnt seem like they'll be annoyed that they're not invited...

Answer 3

You aren't "obligated" to do anything because it's your wedding.

I didn't invite my own dad to mine because I don't like him and I didn't want him there.

You can do and invite whomever you wish. According to proper wedding etiquette though, you're supposed to invite the whole family if you invite some. Depending on where you're marrying, and if they have a capacity limit, you'll want to keep that in mind too. Where I married we could only have a limit of 350 people...so I invited the family and friends I wanted, and didn't worry about the rest.

Send them a wedding announcement though if you don't invite them.

Answer 4

My fiance' and I both come from large families, but we are only inviting those we feel closest to. We want a wedding of close family and friends, not strangers, so I think it would be perfectly acceptable as long as close extended relations are invited i.e. grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins.

Answer 5

no way...invite who you want.  it's your day so only the people you care about most should be there.

Answer 6

If it's only  a couple of cousins, it doesn't hurt to send an invitation. They probably won't show up anyway, but it makes life easier on everyone to include them.

Answer 7

It's completely up to you, but you do need to consider that a wedding is a way to encourage your family - it's not really for you - the HONEYMOON is! Let's face it - sweating under a dress for hours, taking endless photos, standing for however long it takes for the ceremony, having all of this incredible work and money to prepare and it doesn't even really impact whether or not you will stay married for life or not! You don't get to eat - yeah - it's not all it's cracked up to be. I wouldn't bother if it wasn't a way to help families get together and have a reunion like time together in celebrating your new relationship. You're not obligated to invite anyone, but consider who will be there and if they would appreciate seeing those relatives if they were able to come. There are other things you can do too since obviously you can't afford to invite the entire universe! Some people choose to send out wedding announcements after the wedding to people you care about but did not invite.  

Answer 8

its your wedding, thus your are allowed to invite whomever you like.  

Answer 9

Well . . . if excluding anyone, it is usually works best if you do it by categories.  That way, no one's feelings get hurt.

For example, you decide all aunts and uncles will be invited.  No cousins (none!) will be included.

Or you may decide all aunts, uncles, and all first cousins will be invited.  Second cousins, third cousins, and first cousins once removed will not be included.

While cousins you've only met once may not care at all about being invited to your wedding, it may surprise you that their parents (your aunts and uncles) may care.  Aunts and uncles may really get upset if their children are not included.

So . . . only you know your family.  Only you know if they will be upset.  Only you can decide whether or not to invite these cousins.  You may want to ask your parents' advice on this one.

Good luck with your decision.

  

Answer 10

Yes, it's ok!  Only invite the ones you are close too.  Don't worry about if they get hurt!  If they are family who tru.ly care & understand, they will not be offended!  Also, if they are a bit upset, they will get over it eventually!!

Answer 11

Is it just ONE family of cousins? If so, go ahead and invite them, why not? In my experience, when people don't get invited to your wedding they get a little upset. Weddings can be stressful enough as it is. The last thing you need is someone, either now or later, giving you a hard time about them not getting invited.

Answer 12

My fiance and I decided on an intimate wedding for this very reason. We didn't feel comfortable in inviting relatives we really have no contact with but we didn't want to hurt any feelings i.e. especially older relatives. After our wedding we plan on sending Just Married announcements to all family members. I hope this helps.  

Answer 13

It's your choice to make, as long as both you and your fiance are happy with the choice. However, you may have to be prepared for the questions you'll be asked.

I personally agree with you in thinking that family whom you don't know well shoudln't really be on the guest list unless you really want to include them. I'm inviting my aunts and uncles, but not my cousins. I know I'll face a lot of c**p for it, but I don't have relationships with them, and our guest list is very limited.

Answer 14

the same thing happened to me, i have a large family, and my dad's brother and his wife and kds lived far away and i had only met them a few times. but my wedding etiquette book says if you are going to invite family, you should invite all family. so i invited them. but they didn't come anyway. and chances are your cousins that grew up far away won't come either, but it's nice of you to invite them.