Is it appropriate to ground your 15 year old girl for coming home a hour late? ?

Question

She was suppose to be home by 7:30, and she came home at 8:30.

And 20 minutes before she came home, she called to say she

was coming home late, I assume she is lying like she has before.

She clearly states she isn't lying, and kept saying that it was "good"

that she called, I didn't listen, so I punished her. It's also her last week of summer vacation.

After she got kicked out two months ago, she never goes out.

And the little time she does she breaks the rules (by coming home late) Help.

Answer 1

Why would you feel like you need affirmation on this? If she broke a rule you set and you feel punishment is warranted then it is, end of story. Nothing anyone else says is going to make it right or wrong.

Answer 2

ok.

7 30 is RIDICULOUSLY EARLY. it's also a difficult time, cuz it means that you can;t really stay out for dinner, you can't go to a movie that starts at 6 or 7.

coming home late.... 8 30 isn't late. it's not even completely dark at eight thirty! and it is good that she calls. It means that she knows that you set a time and she's breaking the rules. although the rules are a bit absurd.

i'm thirteen years old. i've gotten home at 10 30, and i don't get in that much trouble. mostly because my parents know what i'm doing and i call to say when i'll most likely be getting back. now, of course, it's always parents of friends or my parents driving me, cuz there is no public transportation that goes to my house.  

you're being really harsh. give her a break. if school starts in a week, realize that once it does she'll have homework and won't be able to go out the much.  

Answer 3

Who is the parent here?You or the 15 yr. old?

You tell her where she can go and how long and if she breaks the rules, you punish her.

Answer 4

If you let her by this time then the next time she'll come home 2 hours late or not at all.  Stick with the punishment.  

Answer 5

If she knew she was going to come home late, then why didn't she call at the time of her curfew?

It was appropriate to ground her. Last week of summer holidays or not, she broke the rules and should know better.

If she were my daughter, I wouldn't mind her coming home at 8.30, just so long as she had told me before going out or letting me know at the time she was supposed to be back.

Tell her you value honesty and if she calls earlier in future, she won't get grounded.

Answer 6

I assume you have a good reason for early curfew such as your having to be at work early.  And I'm assuming there are some valid reasons for her being kicked out of the home, but they should be drastic such as drug abuse, violence, etc.

If this is the case, she should be on a NO violation of any rules or she loses everything even the privilege to go out of the house but for a reasonable period of time such as a week.  

If you are too harsh or too leniant the child will not learn from their mistakes.  Discipline doesn't crush her but gives her a wake up call to the reality that you love her too much to let her ruin her life and walking over her parents like doormats just isn't going to happen.

Listen to her THEN give her your decision so she knows you care enough to hear her side of the story, but calling 40 minutes after she was due to be home is unacceptable & consequence worthy unless there was an emergency.

Be firm but fair & consistent.  And always let her know you love her & treasure her regardless of whatever consequences you must give for her deliquent behavior.

Answer 7

Sounds like you may be over punishing her, if you continue to put such restrictions on her she will only continue to rebel.  You need to give her more freedom but when she breaks the rules you should consequence her, just don't over do it.  Being one hour over on curfew is disrespectful but grounding may be a little severe, maybe bump up her curfew one hour next time she goes out.  

Answer 8

It sounds to me like you may be the daughter here, not the parent. So the simple answer to your question is yes, it is completely appropriate.

Answer 9

Dont kick her out. That is so wrong.

What she does need is having her little bared butt worked over with a hairbrush.

Answer 10

There are so many issues here.  Why does a 15 year old have to be home so early.  Why aren't you talking to her about why she didn't call earlier to say she was running late.  Yes, it is good that she called you.  If she got kicked out, then why does she have to report to you.  Need more info.

Answer 11

Yes, it is appropriate.  My son called from the driveway one time to say he was coming how late and then walk in the house.  His reasoning was grounding was in order because he called.  They are suppose to call before they are late - period.

Answer 12

She's fifteen. She should be able to follow the rules and come home on time. So, you were right in punishing her for coming home late.

I know that if I am running late, I should call my parents as soon as I know that I am going to be late so that they don't worry. For all you know, your daughter could have been lying in a ditch dead from 7:30 - 8:10.

If she had done this before, you had every right to take more strict measures.

Answer 13

wow, I think that you are being a little harsh on your child. First why is a 15 year old girl suppose to be home at 7 30? that is insane... I think that 10 30 would be the time my daughters will have to be home at that age! she is coming home late because she should stay out later. And it is good she called, what if she didnt call at all!? then you would have really been worried about her! for a 15 year old it is very good for them to even call at ALL! you should know that.  You should not punish her just for being an hour late on the earliest cerfew ever and not on the last week of summer!!! You are a crazy mom and your daughter prob isnt very happy with you right now because I know that I would not be!

Answer 14

I dont think grounding ever helps. It just pisses them off more, and most of the time, if they call you and tell you they they are coming home late, most likely something happened. You cant always expect life to be so easy, just because you say she has to be home at 730 doesnt mean everythings going to play out that way. There are situations sometimes that can keep someone from being hom EXACTLY on time. When I was younger, I lived grounded because I had such strict parents, but it never did me any good. My guess isnt that she just decided to stay out an extra hour, because in that case she knows shes going to be in trouble.

I think it should be up to you, you are the parent, but my opinion is to be a little bit more linient. Kids are going to be kids, but things happen and you cant be so quick to jump to conclusions.Think of her as a person too, not just a kid... and listen to what she has to tell you.

Hope I helped?