Is it appropriate to have a wedding shower when you have been living together for 12 years & have 4 kids?

Question

Is it appropriate to have a wedding shower when you have been living together for 12 years & have 4 kids?

Answer 1

I'd call it an engagement party--get together with your friends to celebrate your upcoming wedding, but put the word out there that you don't want gifts.

I can't imagine what you'd need after 12 years together so a full out shower with gift registries seem a little tacky.

Answer 2

Why not. You are getting married. Have your friends or family throw you a wedding shower and have some fun

Answer 3

A bridal shower is to gift the bride with items she NEEDS to START a NEW home with her groom.......after 12 years and 4 kids I'd say the need for starter home items has passed, wouldn't you?

So IMO very inappropriate..

Answer 4

nope.have one.

Answer 5

I think it's perfectly appropriate.  If you have never had a wedding before, I don't see a problem with it.  Your choice of gifts will not likely be cooking stuff, for sure.

Most people who say that it is inappropriate are still hung up on different choices people make.  I'd say half of the brides today are already living with their partner before they get married whether they are 20 or 40.

Also, I don't get why posters are crabbing about throwing your own shower. Nothing in your question indicates that you are doing so.  That understandably would be inappropriate.

Answer 6

It's fine to have a party with friends and family (maybe games and snacks?), but tacky to ask for gifts. It's also considered tacky to throw your own shower. If your mom, friend, or aunt wants to throw you one that's fine, but you should STRONGLY encourage them to put "no gifts necessary" on the invitations and communicate that again to the people who RSVP.

Answer 7

I don't think it's appropriate.  I'm sure you have all of the things you need to have a home together.  You may want to register for some new things for wedding gifts, though.

Answer 8

Whyever not? You're getting married! CONGRATULATIONS!

Answer 9

I don't think it's inappropriate. Just because you've taken a different life path doesn't mean you shouldn't get to have a bridal shower if you want one.

If you're uncomfortable registering for gifts, just don't create a registry, and make it clear that the bridal shower is simply a family get-together before the wedding, and include your fiance and kids. I'm not having a bridal shower (first time bride here), but my family DOES want to throw us a small party before the wedding, and I'm including my fiance in it. We have registered, but we're not expecting gifts. They'll be  great good, great company and we're just expecting it to be relaxing and enjoy going over all the last minute details of the wedding with everyone. You deserve the same.

Answer 10

Are you asking this for yourself or for a friend or family member?

YES, in my opinion, it would be inappropriate to have a bridal shower.  I also think having a big huge wedding with a "blushing bride" would be inappropriate also.  A small, intimate beautiful wedding would be what I would do.  Family and close friends only.  Not a big blow out with 100+ people.  But....that is my opinion.  I have learned that in this day and age....nothing surprises me.

Answer 11

One word...tacky!

Answer 12

Absolutely not.  Very inappropriate!

Answer 13

You shouldn't be planning your own shower, but in this day and age it is entirely appropriate to have a shower even after 12 years and 4 kids. Even established homes can always use new kitchen stuff or linens.

Answer 14

For you?  You wouldn't have a shower for yourself but if someone wants to throw you one, then you should let them.  It may be a little strange, I would find a theme or something rather than regular gifts because you likely have most of the regular household items usually given at showers.

Answer 15

No.

Try a vasectomy lol.