Is it appropriate to punish for a progress report??

Question

My daughter has had straight A's in every subject the entire school year....now all of the sudden (last marking period of the year) I get an interm report that say's she has a C in math! I asked my daughter what her test grades have been like and she said all A's & B's...I asked about her homework and she said there where some assignments that she had just finished from when she was absent. Well, in asking again this morning, she said she did have a test and got a 71 and that there where some assignments that she hadn't completed (she's saying it's the teachers fault). I was furious that she lied to me so, I took away her cell phone for a week. I'm a little reluctant to punish for the C since it's not her final grade...should I?? I did call the school and left a message for her math teacher to call me so I can find out exactly what's going on. She's never had a C before and she's 11! She's in 5th grade.....What would you do in my position?

Answer 1

Taking away the cell phone for lying was appropriate.  The purpose of the progress report is to keep you informed now so as to catch a problem before the final grades come out.  You were right to contact the teacher and show your daughter your concern, but cut her some slack.  What a great student you have!  All A's and B's up till now!  We all should be so lucky!  Show her that you're proud of her for her good grades thus far, and help her to raise the grade back up to where it should be.

Answer 2

She is obviously lying to you because she is afraid of your response to what you perceive as a bad grade.  Most children this age lie out of fear, not malice.

First of all, you have to remember that the progress report does not represent a final grade.   There is still plenty of time for her to get her grade up before the end of the term.  When you look at your child's progress report with them, your response should be "What should we do to help you try to get this grade up?  Would you like some extra help from a tutor?"

Second, please also remember that a "C" means "average."  Your daughter is not failing the class.  Math can be a tricky subject at this age.  Perhaps some new concepts have been introduced, and she is still in the process of mastering them.  

Third, you might want to ask yourself WHY your daughter lied to you.  Are you too hard on her where grades are concerned?  We all want our children to do their best in school, but no child can be perfect all the time.  There are always going to be concepts that are difficult to grasp, or take them longer to understand.

Answer 3

wait until you talk to her teacher. then if its a problem with her not understanding the work maybe she needs a bit of tutoring. remember she is only 11. talk to her. maybe there is another reason, something else could be troubling her. don't alienate her, stay calm, she lied for a reason, find out what the reason is but don't be a bully because she will just retreat and not tell you anything.

Answer 4

My grand daughter is the same age, same grade, same problem. She just got a C on her progress report. She didn't lie so no punishment but she is totally freaked out because she got a C in math after never having had one before. She is punishing herself enough. In fact I wish she'd lighten up.

You are doing the right thing, it is a progress report not report card. For what ever reason math has gotten so much harder this term. We have middle school here for 6 thru 8th grade. I'm nervous b/c my grand is set up for all advanced classes math included.

Are you concerned that next year will be tons harder? Just the change in school will be a big deal.

Good luck, I hope her teacher can explain all this to you.

Answer 5

the cell phone is enough for now.  Its a progress report, not a final grade.  Tell her she needs to pull it together, get her work done and study.  Offera tutor, she may need it with the changing math subjects.  Maybe it is getting a bit hard for her.

Punishment can be made if after she is wrned and offered help and the report card comes back wiht no improvement.

Answer 6

I think it is completely appropriate to take her cell phone away for lying. I also think it is completely appropriate for there to be a consquence for not doing homework.

In my house if an assignment is missed they are grounded from the computer and television for a week. If they lied to me and said they did the assignment and didn't, it's 3 weeks. 1 for not doing the work and 2 for lying to me about it. That rule went into effect at progress report of last semester and the final grade was much better. They can't turn on the television until all homework is completed and checked.

Their responsibility at this age is to go to school and do their homework and help out around the house. If they aren't taking care of their responsibilites they don't get extra privledges. I would lay out the ground rules with her right now and watch closely until the end of the school year. I think when she realizes she can't just say "I didn't have any homework" and have no consequences she will buckle down.

Answer 7

No you shouldn't punish her. What are you Physco? I unetand you took away her cell phone because she lied, but still that's no reason you need to punish her for a c. You need to talk to your daughter. Maybe she doesn't understand the material the teacher is teaching. Did you ever think about that?

Answer 8

I think punishment for lying is very appropriate.  I would not punish for a grade.  Punishing for a low grade is practically an invitation to start cheating, and it can also discourage kids from taking hard classes.  I think you did the right thing contacting the teacher to figure out the problem.  Sometimes kids do legimately start having trouble with subject matter where they didn't before.  Sometimes they start getting distracted with things like boys! If it's one test, I really don't think it merits more than a discussion.  If there's a pattern of incomplete assignments, I'd start supervising homework more closely and make completing homework a precondition of playdates, etc.

Answer 9

I think not , where I am my kids just got their report cards maybe 3 or 4 weeks ago . When they get them that ends a quarter and then they move on to harder work right . Then these teachers send out the reports 2 weeks after they started newer and harder things so yes they may not be doing well right now , understandable work is getting harder . Now here is what I tell my 3 kids that are honor students and the two who aren't . I know the work is getting hard , now I am here to help you if you need me . If you feel like I am not able to help then try to stay for after school help and I call the school to arrange the help .

Answer 10

There should be a reason for a sudden drop in grades - maybe a lack of motivation, a boy at school maybe?  I don't know what to tell you.  I have always done well in school, but sometimes some subjects are just hard.  One test can throw a grade off.  For 5 chapters that you do understand, the one chapter that you don't understand can throw you off completely.  I wouldn't punish for the grade.  Instead, try to help her bring it up.  The lying was unnecessary, but she probably felt that you would be disappointed rather than supportive.  If you are reacting like this, honestly I understand why she may have felt that way.  A "C" is not the end of the world, and she still has 5 or so weeks to pull it back up to an "A".  Encourage her and try to help her out as much as possible.  And make sure she knows that you will always support her and motivate her to the best of your ability - then she won't want to lie anymore.

Answer 11

I agree with you, your daughter's lying should be punished to teach her not to do it again.  I aslo think you should talk to your daughter's teacher to see if you can get her some extra math help or to see if it is something you can work on with her.  Maybe she just isn't getting it and needs a tutor.  Just be patient with her and understanding.

Answer 12

yes because so she can learn what you expect on her report card

Answer 13

Punishment is a little extreme for a c dont ya think?

Answer 14

Well when I was younger a progress was just as good as the report card.  My dad felt that if the progress report was bad then it was time I had more free time to study if you know what I mean.  If I had a report card that was bad then when the progress reports came out and it was better then I was off restriction.  Needless to say I would always pull my grades back up when either one came back bad.  As far as the C goes, talk to the teacher and then you can decide if she needs some free time to study.

Answer 15

hey women that was the key word for lying.. its not the grades.. after talking to the teacher then punsh her for the lying.. but as long as she is passing she is good to go.. i know how it is grant is in 3rd grade and i'm still joking around til the day he gets a B.... lol goodluck

Answer 16

I would have done that to.

Answer 17

I am a teacher and I do believe that it is appropriate to punish for a progress report. You will not believe how fast a students grades can drop just in a matter of a week espically in math. A C can go to a D or an F really quick.  4th quarter is a time where kids like to shut down and prepare for summer so as a teacher and a parent we just have to push a little harder b/c they may regret the slacking off next year but do not realize it at this time.

KUDOS to you for calling the teacher!  It is awesome to have parents who care and want to discuss their childs grades and not just lay blame on the teacher automatically.  It is wonderful that you are investigating and not just blaming!  Teachers sometimes really take a bad rap b/c kids want someone to blame other themselves.

You will also not believe how many parents I have calling me discussing the samething that you are going to be discussing. 5th grade as well as 6th grade are really changing years.  They are starting to mature find themselves and over all turn into that typical teen.  Just be patient but firm and don't give in espically if she is lying.

From a personal note, I was not one to make that great of grades in grade school. My  parents did not push me that hard in my school work but more in sports, so average grades were okay. I wished they would have pushed me more b/c I did not learn about my full potential until I was in college.  

Good Luck!

Answer 18

punish her for the lying its ok.

Answer 19

You punish for lying.  Not for the grades.  You need to find the source of the change in her progress at school and find a way to remedy it.

Answer 20

Taking away her cell phone for lying was a good move.  As far as the grade goes, I would ask her if there is anything she is not understanding.  I would also talk to the teacher because if she is struggling a little bit she can maybe get some tutoring.  The C is not her final grade so I would give her an incentive to bring it up.