Is it appropriate to "tip" a clergyman for performing a religous service such as a funeral?

Question

The service was for my mother. I am not a member of her Presbyterian Church, which has a small congregation (less than 60) in a small town (less than 1,000). I don't know the minister and he barely knew my mom (he is new), but he did an excellent job. The church ladies arranged a potluck afterwards. I am giving the church something; should I give somethig separate to the minister? If so, what amount is appropriate?

Answer 1

I think the minister should get something, he's gotta eat too ya know.

Answer 2

If you want to give away money, give it to charity.

Answer 3

Yes it is.  They normally don't get paid enough.  As to the amount, $50 maybe, if you can afford that, if not, whatever you can afford.

Answer 4

No, you should give any additional donations to the church.

Answer 5

Frankly, when my dad died, we didn't even think to tip our pastor.  He was also a family friend and wanted to do the service.  Had I thought of it, I would have tipped him.  I guess we are much poorer than Allecat, because our pastor's eyes popped open wide when he was once given a $50 bill for performing a service.  Most people that I know usually give anywhere from $10 to $30, depending on their financial ability.  I always try to give enough to at least pay for the gas and travel expenses.  The pastor that I mentoned above declined a tip for the cleansing of a house of demons.  The homeowner insisted because she knew he had traveled over 20 miles to get there.  So, he was quite thankful and finally accepted the gas money (and a little extra), and she was thankful that she could (and still is 5 years later) now live in a home free of demonic presences.  She said that it would have been worth $200 or more for the service and would had gladly given it if she had it.

Another consideration to the amount is whether you attend the pastor's church or not and contribute to the church fund and other church offerings.  If a funeral is held in a church instead of a funeral home, it is appropriate to make a donation to the church, pastor, and organist.

Answer 6

$50 goes along way, but it is a tip, not a requirement.

God bless.

Answer 7

If your mother was a member of the church, the assumption is that the pastor would preside at her funeral without any extra pay. (Same for weddings of members.)

Yet, I am a Presby. pastor, and there have been times when families of members INSIST on giving me something: once, when I politely declined a cash stipend, they bought me a booklet of 10 coupons to be used at the local gym.

The difference is whether or not your mother was an official member. Many people consider themselves to be members of a church, but don't even know enough to realize that they are NOT. They just THINK they are...Members, it is assumed, have been involved in the life and ministry of the church, and have contributed financially already, all along the way.

I'm sorry for your loss. ---JFM