Is it appropriate to request gifts at a baby shower?

Question

My friends daughter is 19 years old, single, and pregnant with her 3rd child. (Well, she has a 1 yr old son and is pregnant with twins right now). They gave me a baby shower invitation last week and requested that my husband bring a bag of diapers (they are asking all males that attend to bring diapers) and they asked me to make a potato salad for 15. I find it tacky to ask people to bring a certain gift and to make a food dish.

We have a 7 and 17 year old son of our own and we are really tight on cash this month due to an unexpected emergency with our car.

Do you think it's rude to ask for gifts or is this the norm these days?

Answer 1

What do you expect from uncouth trash? What do you expect from a family where the girl gets knocked up (unmarried, of course) as a teen and now she's preggers yet again. Breeding like a rat, despite our bursting-at-the-seams planet. I suggest you buy her a book and maybe she'll learn a few  things. She sounds ig'nant as h**l. I would have politely declined when Mama asked (begged) for this stuff.

Answer 2

Yes it's tacky! It's rude to tell you to bring a dish. They are throwing the party, not the guests!

& 2nd. Men don't bring diapers HER shower!!!

The father of the twins (if this one is in the picture) can have a "Diaper Party". Which means the men (father to be & HIS male friends) get together on a given night & play cards & drink. The guest men bring a bag of diapers. The father to be supplies the place, cards, beer. The mother to be is not entitled to "two" gifts. Which she is clearly expecting. (diapers from your hubby, gift from you & food!)

If I were you I would decline the invitation if that's what she's calling it. It's rude & tacky!!

Answer 3

i've known people to have baby showers for the 2nd child. I don't know about any further children.

I'm with you. I think its rude to ask for certain gifts or ask you to bring a potato salad.

As far as the budget concerns, I can totally understand

The last time I was invited to a wedding shower that asked for certain gifts, I declined because of financial reasons.

Here you can do one of 2 things. You can decline because of financial reasons, OR you can go and look for something cheap, weather or not it is on the "list"

Answer 4

Requesting gifts not appropriate no matter what the occasion. If the invitee wants you to pick among gifts then it is okay to say which one you prefer as long as it is not the more expensive one.

Answer 5

Tacky, gifts are expected but should not be mandated!

Answer 6

Incredible.  Something similar has happened to me recently.

My sister's best friend is pregnant and her husband is an MD.  She registered with a baby boutique for her baby shower.  All the things on her wishlist were over $50, except a silver $30 picture frame someone had already bought for her.  I couldn't attend due to college exams but she still asked my sister where my gift to her was.

I think it is rude and tacky, no matter what financial class you are in.

However, it's a tradition where I'm from (the South, to be broad) for guests to bring a dish.  But asking someone you're not especially bonded with to bring a dish is classless.

I must lastly add that I have never heard of men attending a baby shower.

Answer 7

I've heard of baby showers for later children when they're spread out by a few years. But telling you you have to make food and what to bring is way beyond tacky it's downright crude. If they want certain things than they should join a baby shower registry so people know what they need. What the girl needs is condoms, and a pamphlet to the free clinic for birth control.

Answer 8

My advice is : don't attend .

Answer 9

I have never heard of having a baby shower for just ONE child. They are all different, and need to celebrated for each one. Just my thought though.

I think its tacky the way she did it. I agree not every one has money. I think she should have stated what she needed, and then asked if people would bring a dish. Or have different dishes...like salad, sweets, meat, etc. Or have then register to bring a dish.

You could always do the thing....well i guess i can't come cause i dont' have money.....with her. put a guilt trip on....

Just let her know what you can and can't do right now. Or make her pick. LOL

Hope this helps