Is it bad enough to leave?

Question

My husband has a felony and has been fired from a ton of jobs after they run his background and well almost burned out here in our small city when it comes to work. It’s been a huge strain on our family and ive repeatedly asked him to find a job where his record isn’t a problem but to this day hasn’t. We’ve lost our apartment and have been from house to house and im so tiered of working , maintaining the house and never making ends meet. I’ve contemplated leaving him because I feel anger towards his laziness but we have children and if the lack of job weren’t an issue we would get along just fine should I hang in there or throw in the gloves it’s been a year.

Answer 1

Your husband has an obligation to you and the kids, and he's not meeting it. For one year he has watched you struggle to support all of you, and he hasn't been willing to help you. Why would you think he's suddenly going to change now? I'm afraid he sees you as someone who he can treat any way he wants, because he believes you're not going anywhere.

Do you think it's doing your children any favors to see their parents constantly struggling, to watch this obvious imbalance in their responsibilities, to live with all the bitterness and resentment that surely exists between you two? Children pattern themselves after the relationships that they grow up with, and they emulate the adults who shape their understanding of how relationships should work. You do NOT want your children to follow in either of your footsteps -- too irresponsible to step up and be an honorable spouse and parent, or willing to be treated like a doormat.

I would suggest you issue a very clear ultimatum, and if he doesn't get a job and start working to support all of you, then you have to follow through on your end of it - and yes, that means leaving.

Answer 2

all things point you to leave your husband to rot in his misfortunes..

say; let's put you in his shoes.. if you had a felony, and became so unwanted in the society, would you think your husband should leave you to rot helplessly?

anyway, has he tried his hands on construction works? perhaps if you could help him get some trainings.. perhaps he might have a chance to prove himself useful again..

Answer 3

My husband has a lot more than just one felony. He is currently working, but it took him a while to actually find something. But I have a hard time understanding all these people on yahoo answers being so quick to tell someone to leave their husbands. And in your situation you are getting advice from many that will never understand your situation without having been in your situation. Did you marry your husband for financial support? or Did you marry your husband because you love your husband. All I am trying to say is that I can see your husbands point of view. It is very hard to get a job to meet a parole or probation requirement. It also depends on what his felony is for. But you should not leave your husband over not having a job if he is trying. That is like saying that money is more important than your husband. Then people wonder why the divorce rate is so high now days. Because everyone is so quick to give up one thinking that life is going to be so much greater later with maybe someone else. They forget that marriage is about love and sacrifice, not just about the money and their partners making them an easy comfortable lifestyle.