Is it bad that I am a stay at home Mother?

Question

My husband works two jobs so that I can stay at home with our 2 year old daughter. My mother in law is saying I am wasting my life staying home (btw, I don't think she likes me). I love staying at home with our daughter. My husband is the maintenance man at the apartment complex we live at and we get to spend some time together. I make his breakfast, lunch and dinner for him. I fix his drinks for home all he has to do is come home and sit down.

Answer 1

idk.  i grew up with 2 parents that both worked.  so i wouldnt consider being a stay at home mom.  to me, it does seem a bit messed up that your husband is busting is balls at TWO jobs when you dont even have one.

Answer 2

I am also a stay at home mother.  I believe if more families were like us, the children in the world would not be so messed up.  So God Bless you and your husband for doing the right thing for your child.  Btw, there shouldn't be a doubt in your mind your doing the right thing.  I know it gets boring at times doing the same thing over and over again but it IS the best thing for your child.

Answer 3

As long as you and your husband are happy with the arrangement, then don't worry about your mother-in-law. At least your daughter will hve the benefit of having guidance all along the way, which is fantastic.

Answer 4

Your husband seems to fine with it so do you. Child care is not always the safest and never cheap. Let the mother in law say what she wants. It's not her life.

Answer 5

You do whatever you feel is right for you and your family and don't pay attention to your MIL, who should not be interfering in your life.

Answer 6

if it's something you enjoy then their is no problem with it!

does your husband mind working two jobs?

if it does bother him a little, maybe you could find a part time job where you would only need to work a couple x a week.

but if you husband doesn't mind, then continue doing what you are doing.

who is your mother in law to say that you are wasting your life away by staying at home & spending time with your kids?

if it makes you happy, that's all that matters!

best of luck!

Answer 7

I personally think it's ok that you're a stay at home mother... you have to take care of your daughter or else no one will be able to. I think it's pretty fair because you seem to support your husband emotionally/mentally by helping him to calm down after work and making him drinks...and he supports you financially :) As long as he's ok with the thought of having two jobs I think it's good.

Answer 8

ok, I am also a stay-at-home mother and feel very blessed to say that! It isnt anyones business but yours and your husbands, and if it works for you and your family that should be good enough! I get that sooo many times, I'll hear, that's all you do?! umm, yeah, you mean, I dont let someone else raise my kids and be a part-time parent, I get to see every thing my kids do 1st hand- and maybe that's why the world is sooo messed up- from a parent not being home, I strongly think one should be at all times, if we didnt need 5,000 sqft homes, 2 brand-new suvs and the best of it all, we could be there for our families- enjoy your kids and truly who cares about the "out-law!"

Answer 9

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Answer 10

This is a decision for you and your husband, NOT your mother-in-law.   I have to admit, if my husband worked two jobs, which I assume is well over 40 hours per week, I would do something to bring it down to one job.   You could babysit.   Once I even cleaned houses.   I always brought SOME money home so the pressure was not all on him.   But that doesn't mean you go to work full time.   Children are so important and our society seems to be just tossing them to the side.   I admire that you and your husband are thinking of your child.

Answer 11

I think it's fine that you are a stay at home mother, at least for now while your daughter is young. However, I find it a little selfish on your part that your husband is having to work two jobs just so you don't have to work.  

Answer 12

I would say your fine.  Unless you are in a finacial rut or you and your husband are having disagreements over the situation.  If everything is happy and going smothly between you, your husband and child then forget everyone else.  I understand cuz I have a mother-in-law that makes comments or gestures when I don't work or go buy something that gives me the impression she is saying in her head "hmm well I guess she is just going to take advantage of my son some more" and it drives me insane b/c my husband and I are perfectly happy with the way things are.  And remember to being a stay home home is more than a ful time job and that your kids are only young once so enjoy every monute you can with them b/c before you know they will be grown up and on their own!!!

Answer 13

I think that if this is something that works for you and your husband then you should pay no attention to your mother in law.  Why anyone would make reference that your daughter would be better with a stranger all day, as opposed to home with her mother in beyond me.  You married your hubby, not his mother, so don't be rude to her because you don't want bad feelings between you two, especially if you feel like she doesn't like you the way it is.  Tell her that this is what works, and maybe when your daughter starts school all day if you don't have other chlidren by then you will consider getting a job outside the home.  Until then, basically, MYOB.  

Just be open and talk to your hubby about it.  I am sure he realizes it is better for his daughter to be raised by you, and for him to be able to see her at lunch and as soon as he comes home in the evening than to be shuttling her back and forth to a sitter.  You do not want it to ever come up in an argument that "all you do is sit at home, while he is out working his butt off for you."  As long as he is ok with it, continue to do it.  This is why we love our husbands... because they are willing to make sacrifices for ourselves and our families.  

Answer 14

Try this it works i am a parent of 4 and they see me all the time. MY husband works during the day and comes of at 9:00 (Hour after bed time) and then i work at night from 10:30 to 6:45 and i see them all the time

Answer 15

no you are not.  your m-i-l should mind her business.

In the MIL's defense she may think that its wrong for her son to be working 2 jobs. But she should keep her mouth shut.It is a decision that the 2 of you came to so that you could stay home and she should accept it.  The next time she says it politely change the subject.  If that doesn't work be polite but firm by saying something like, "I'm sorry you feel that way but I'm enjoying my daughter and it is between my husband and me."  

Answer 16

It is your choice. My sister is a stay at home mother with four kids all under the age of 6. Her husband is in the Coast Guard so it's pretty much just her. She still has time to attend on line college majoring in graphic design and has been on the deans list every semester for 3 years. She graduates in a few months. Maybe this is something you could look into. I have twins so I know children are difficult but with one child I'm sure you could find time to better yourself. Good Luck

Answer 17

There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mother (lower case) as long as this is the arrangement you and your husband have agreed upon.

The women's liberation movement fought (fights) to give women the choice of occupation; this should include stay at home mom.

Now, if you agree with your sister-in-law that you are "wasting" your life staying at home, that you could be pursuing a more fulfilling life, than you should look to do other things.  But a 2 year old daughter deserves to have her mom OR dad with them.

Answer 18

This is a decision that you and your husband make together, not his mother. If you two have decided that it's more important for her to have you at home and he's okay with working the extra job, then all is fine. Sounds like you two have found yourselves a nice arrangement. He not only works, but gets to spend some time with the two of you, very important. Discuss the issues with your husband and maybe consider going back to work when she's 3 or 4 to help her learn to socialize w/o you in preparation for kindergarten.

Answer 19

More power to you hunny.  Some people just dont realize that being a stay at home mom IS a full time job x 3 ... you just dont get paid for it.  Dont let that woman put you down.  There is nothing wrong with it.  By the time you pay for babysitting and gas these days it almost pays for one parent to just stay home anyway.

Answer 20

your monster in law needs to let you to live your own lives and make your own choices and get a life of her own to lead, if you and your husband are comfortable with your arrangement . Just ignore her. shes a noisy nelly. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND PEE ON HER!!! AND HER OPINION.  

wanting to stay home and care for  your child is not a crime it is too bad more mothers do not have the option.,

Answer 21

This is a choice that is between you and your husband. If your MIL said this once, just forget about it and move on. If she says it again, say "I appreciate your opinion, Mom, but that's a decision (your hubby) and I have to make. Please don't mention it again."

Frankly, I'm a little surprised. You'd think she'd want you to be there with her grandchild. But, regardless, I think you're doing a good thing. And it will pay off in a close, loving relationship with your daughter.

Answer 22

I think that its great that you are a stay at home mother.  This way you know your child is taken care of.  Child care places too often do not take care of children the way that they should.  I know I stopped working for this reason.  It also gives you time to bond with your daughter and build a really great relationship.  It sucks that your husband has to work so much.  However it sounds like you do your best to take good care of him and be grateful that hes willing to work so hard to make sure you and your daughter have the best he can give.

Don't listen to your mother-in-law.  Many people don't understand the joy of actually raising your own child.  If you do feel as though you are wasting your life try taking some online classes.  When your daughter goes to school in a couple years you will have the time to work if you want.  

Answer 23

well for the time being no, its not that bad, but once you think your daughter can have a babysitter you should start working again. but once you feel comfortable to leave your daughter with a babysitter you should get a job, even if its a part time one and let ur hubby quit one of his.

Answer 24

your choice, if you dont like you dont have to, but if you have children, it should be you or uy mate.

Answer 25

This is WONDERFUL! You sound like an excellent wife. This is how God made things to work. Plus, the quality time you get to spend with your daughter is worth and *incredible* amount compared to the dollars you get working. If your husband wants it this way, it is your duty to follow his wishes. I am impressed that you are doing this, even with your mother-in-law being the way she is. What a selfless sacrifice you are making for your family!

Don't grow weary in well-doing!  

Answer 26

if you are happy with it then so be it that is all that counts and mabye your motherinlaw is thinking if you both wrked you would have mor ethat is true. but then again how much time would there be with you all and the baby. so do what you want and have him explain it to her peroid.  

Answer 27

There is NOTHING wrong with being a stay-at-home mom. Because of that, you're able to have a stronger and better relationship with both your daughter and your husband. Treasure those years with your child while you can, because you can always branch out and find a new career path when she's older.

Answer 28

You have a daughter that needs you.  It is wonderful that your husband is willing to work extra so that your daughter is able to have a parent taking care of her.  What you and your husband decide is best for your family is no one else's business.  Tell your mother-in-law that she is wasting her life criticizing you.

Answer 29

Uh..no..I dont think it's bad. I want to be a stay at home mom too. You get to stay at home!! Awesome.

But you know, you could sort of run an at home business...like start selling stuff on ebay or something, then you have a little more to do then family stuff AND you'll bring in some income.  

Answer 30

Your Mother in law needs to mind her own business. If you and your husband like the arrangement you have, then that is all that matters. No your not lazy. Being  housewife and mother is a 24/7 job.

Answer 31

If your hubby is happy for you to stay home and not resentful in any way then it isn't anyone else's business!

You're definitely not wasting your life at all.

I'm a stay at home Mum. It's so rewarding and your daughter will appreciate it.

It sounds like it works perfectly for you, how lucky that he has a job so close to you both!

Enjoy your time, they grow up too fast x.