Is it bad that I didn't cry?

Question

When my dad died I didn't cry at his funeral , I was eight at the time and I understood what was happening. I was actually a bit relieved, I know that sounds totally horrible but I was a bit scared of him, he was a alcoholic and hit my family except me. But now that six years have passed, i'm missing him loads more like how he is missing me grown up and he won't be there to walk me down the aisle if I get married when I'm older. So am I terrible for never crying ?. Even my half-brother was crying and he was like 20.

Answer 1

. It doesn't make you a horrible person that you didn't cry at his funeral. If you really did just feel relief, it doesn't make you a bad person either. You probably just didn't ever build a relationship with you father and had always just viewed him as a problem, a cause for chaos. Why are you just now worrying about this though, you need to buy yourself a quart of ice cream.  

Answer 2

Not at all, people deal with grief in different ways. But its ok to feel relief if your dad hurt your family, its ok you shouldn't feel bad its a natural reaction. But he is your Dad your flesh and blood so naturally you will miss him, and it is a shame that he won't see you grow up. But think about it, what would your life be with him, would he still hurt your family? Everyone has the right to live there life away from fear. If you were scared of him do you think that, you would really get the life you want. So maybe its better to remember than to have the reality. So don't feel bad for not crying, just remember the good times.  

Answer 3

No, your not.

People react to grief in different ways.

When my brother died i was so upset

but i never cried

even though i blamed myself.

its natural you hurt

but how you act will differ to other people

Answer 4

It isn't bad at all.

My Nan died recently and I didn't cry and I'm 14.

I was 13 then and I knew her, I loved her and yet I didn't cry.

It was quite awkward because even though I wasn't crying I was the one who was getting asked if I was ok the most. I kinda wanted to cry because I thought I was being terribly selfish and careless but I just didn't need to cry.

I understand that a lot of people don't tend to cry when they're young but like me, some don't cry when they're older either.

So..I told you that just to let you know that it isn't terrible at all for not crying especially if he scared you. I think you should concentrate on the positive times that happened between you and your dad, even if there were hardly and if you're too young to remeber some of them, then perhaps you could ask your family about times that your family shared with him.

The best thing to do is not let yourself get upset ...for not being very upset. If you get what I mean, hope that helped honey.

Answer 5

when you're younger you dont seem to take things to heart as much and you dont quite comprehend things to well, of course seeing as how you;re young.

so now that you're older and understand more, and it hurts.

Answer 6

no at that age you sometimes don't comprehend what it means in the long hall.  it's normal, everything your feeling... don't worrie he doesn't blame you you did nothing wrong

Answer 7

dont beat yourself up you were only eight at the time.obviously you loved your dad very much and you will never forget him.its a shame that he wont see you get married one day.maybe your half brother will do you the honour of walking you down the aisle when the time comes.

Answer 8

Not bad at all, my dads an alcoholic and has been violent on many occassions, I wouldnt care, when they are like that, he would be too drunk to even care if you got married, he would use it as an excuse to drink.  Don't feel bad, just do hat I do, care about those who are around you that care about you, if he hit your family he didnt care.

Don't feel bad, I would have liked to have a proper relationship with my dad, aint never gunna happen, so I make the most of it with my friends and my mum.

Answer 9

No, it's not horrible. Back then you had a fresh memory of what you father was like, and you didn't really like it. It's sad that he died, but, you can't help that he didn't lead a very loving life with you, you know? You can force yourself to cry for someone...it's better to be honest than to pretend sorrow. Besides, think about it....as your dad, he wouldn't have wanted you to suffer for him. And it's also normal that you miss him now...it's been time and you miss the father figure he could've been now but not what he was back then. It's okay...you're not horrible. Your brother cried, but he's very different from you. You can love someone very much and not cry at all if they pass away, it's okay.