Is it bad that I never really feel guilty?

Question

I mean, I might feel guilty if I eat too much, but, at 38, I really don't feel guilty about anything "serious."

Oh, I have plenty of regrets, but never real guilt. That said, I don't drink, get violent, do drugs, gamble (much) or s***w people over. I do do some things that may be considered immoral by churchgoing folks, but they are not illegal, harm no one, and I definitely feel no guilt in that regard.

Is it because I've come to a firm set of standards of what's right and wrong (for me) and abide by my self-created standards, or has my conscience been eroded?

Answer 1

No, it's not bad. In reference to your last question, I don't think the latter is true at all. Most of the things churches find to be immoral are things one shouldn't really feel guilty about doing.

Answer 2

OK... first I think it is helpful to differentiate between felt guilt and actual guilt.

You are talking about felt guilt here.  Felt guilt should always represent actual guilt or it is false guilt.  If you feel bad about something that wasn't wrong it is false guilt. If you feel fine about something that was morally wrong that is false innocence.  Felt innocence and actual innocence can be distinguished too.  In your case you (i believe) have actual guilt without felt guilt.  

I imagine that there are two reasons... 1 - standards  - 2 - perceptions

your standards are yours instead of true standards

your perceptions of self seem to be fairly vague or shallow. (please don't read offense into this, just answering your question)

Standards - the conscience is something that changes with beliefs, experiences, and choices.  I think when you speak of your own set of standards it reveals that you don't believe in an objective set of standards (morals) by which all men should be judged.  So you have come up with what works for you.  Men will tend to go to a lower more easily achieved set of standards in this case.  Although, if standards are real it doesn't matter how easy they are to achieve.  It seems that your standard accepts a certain amount of sin as normal and expected.  God's standard doesn't, which is why we need forgiveness through Jesus' sacrifice.  Incorrect standards would result in a lack of acknowledging guilt.



Perceptions.  Because standards are low and accepting of sin is the norm, perceptions of self are incorrect.  Jesus made it clear that it was "the thought that counts" not just the actions.  A sinful thought is a sin when you surrender to it.  Hatred is murder in the heart, lust is adultery in the heart. And one of the worst sins biblically is pride, the one that is most often unnoticed in the person who has it. So the first thing is that sin in the heart is sin and brings actual guilt on a person (even if that guilt is not felt).  You mention your many regrets, but feel no guilt?  That doesn't seem logical, not if you are talking about regrets for bad things you have done.  Those people were truly affected (and may still be) by things you have done.  And judging by your self-description I am not sure you would readily notice if you did sin against someone.  At this point the only thing to do it leave it to you.  Do you really have accurate self-perceptions?  To admit to many regrets yet not acknowledge guilt for anything? To think that the list of things you "don't" do excuses that which you do is not logical, since when is innocence earned? Innocence is maintained not earned, if it has not been mainained it does not exist.

By God's standards we are all quite guilty, the myth of the good person keeps many people proud and unwilling to come to Christ for forgiveness.

Answer 3

If you aren't doing anything wrong, than feeling guilt would be a sign of a seriously aberrant emotion.

Guilt is an emotion. An emotion is an incredibly-fast evaluation, a judgment of something that happened in relation to the values you hold. If you violated something you value, guilt would be immediate and unavoidable. If you did not, then guilt should not occur.

You also shouldn't accept a negative evaluation of yourself for not having the judgment that another person thinks you *should* have. Independent judgment is a fine virtue to have.

Answer 4

It sounds okay to me. Some people feel guilty about things they really shouldn't, and some people seemingly have no conscience and never feel guilty about things they really should. It doesn't sound as though you have much, if anything, to feel guilty about. As for the questionable "immoral by churchgoing folks" (but not illegal), if you feel in your heart that you've done nothing wrong and no one was harmed, then there is no guilt to feel. If, later on, after some circumspection, you feel differently, that maybe you did not do something you should have or did something wrong and caused someone harm because of it, you will probably feel some guilt then. That is your conscience talking to you.  I can't really tell you for certain whether you are just abiding by your self-created standards or your conscience has been eroded.  

Answer 5

That and the crazy ex-wife of yours getting into your head.  

Answer 6

i think you never feel quilt b/c you were not brought up that way. like for example your mom may have never made you say sorry when you did something wrong when you will younger.

Answer 7

It's called a conscience given to you before you were even born, you just listen.

"May be considered immoral"," harm no one " ??????  (Are they sins or not)

Knowing God's Word I have to say all sin any sin is considered with the same attribute as another in God's eyes.  

Answer 8

Desensitised maybe, theres a big world out there and people suffering and starving, I think we all share some guilt over this even if it is in doing nothing.

Answer 9

The true key to a sincere and honest conscience is educating it.  

Answer 10

If you don't do anything really bad that harms others, you have nothing to feel guilty about. If you harm others and don't feel guilty, there could be a sociopathy problem, or if you fob off your guilt on Jesus...there might again be a sociopathy problem.

Answer 11

Guilt is not a real emotion. Guilt is a man made emotion, made to dominate others. Regret is normal, but guilt isn't necessary. If you are not hurting yourself or others you should continue on in your guilt-free bliss.