Is it bad that i hate my bio parents??

Question

I am in foster care for years... I meet my bio parents once a month and everytime i wish they were dead! Am I as bad as i believe... I mean everyone should love his birth parents. But my mum is a b**** and dad was married with another woman and had many childen. I believe that at least i have the right to hate them with my heart...:'(

Answer 1

It isn't bad. You are entitled to your feelings. I dont know what laws can help you disconnect completely, but when you have to meet them remain distant and aloof. Disconnect from yourself for the visit if you can't disconnect from them.

Remember someday you'll turn 18 and then it is your choice.

Good luck.

Please remember though that they had their reasons too.

Answer 2

i know exactly how you feel i just got out of foster care I'm 21 and i got taken from my parents when i was 7 my dad is a d**k and has other kids he takes care of them but he never wanted me so i understand how you feel if you hate them that much get them out of your life completely i feel better know that i disconnected from my dad I'm ok with my mom but i don't always wanna see here but its you choice but once you don't have to worry about them it will be like a big weight lifted off your shoulders

Answer 3

Why would you have to love someone just because they are your blood line?   Bullcrap.

You love the people in your life who touch you and your heart. Blood, non blood doesn't matter.

Your in foster care so stopping visits can only come when you can convince your social worker that seeing them is not in your best interest.  You might want to ask about them giving up their parental rights.

Please dont think you are "bad",  your not.   I will assume you have found others that have loved you and your birth parents have not shown you that they indeed can love/support and be parents to you.

As far as hate..you will outgrow that and maybe figure out in the future what makes them tick.  Don't let the hate consume you.  Change it into not caring.  Focus your energies on good things ..not things or people who aren't deserving of your energy.  

Answer 4

It depends on your situtation, I would be very very angry and maybe even say I hate them but I would feel more hurt and anger than hatred.  Maybe you need to find out their side of the story if you haven't already.Try being open about your feelings with them, they obviously still want to be in contact with you.

Answer 5

I think that if they know that you are in foster care and haven't done a thing about it, I would say ***** them. ( btw I found out that my bio father was married at the time that I was concieved and his WIFE was pregnant at the same  time my bio mom was, so I know how you feel on that other point.)

Answer 6

I am confused....IN another question you said you were ADOPTED?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

If you are adopted.....then your bio-parents rights were terminated and you have no contact with them.  It is rare that parents with TPR still have rights to see their children.

Something is not right here.

Answer 7

I think it is hard to be a child/teen and be in foster care. It is too bad that your birth parents were unable to cope with life better. If they still visit with you, I am sure you understand that they wish things were better for them and for you. I am sure they love you although unable to make life better for you or themselves. It is OK for you to be angry.

Try to find something you can like about them as it will make you feel better. Try to find something you enjoy about the visit. And then make sure that you plan your life so you will have a better life than they did and your children of the future will have the kind of life you wished you had.

Hate never helps anything.

Answer 8

I don't think you should hate them. You could just dislike them greatly. I guess it also depends on your situation. I absolutely love my birth mom (never met my dad) and she gave me up when I was 3 1/2 weeks old. I just met her for the first time last month, 19 years later. I could really connect with her. We text everyday.

Answer 9

It is bad to hate them in a sense that it obviously is affecting your life having to see them.  Tell your social worker and your foster/adoptive parents how you feel.  Let them know that for you to be emotionally healthy, you need to cut out the madatory visits and decide whether you want to meet with them again in a long while...  when you are older.

Answer 10

hating them is not going to make life easier for you, you're just going to be filled with anger and resentment towards them. you should try to at least get yourself to the point were you maybe just like them for who they are as people and not as your parents. first ask yourself why you hate them, then talk to them and ask questions that might help you understand their side of the situation and why you were given to foster care. do you like your foster parents? if you do then who cares, enjoy your foster family and just try to be on good terms with your bio parents. at least they care enough about you to want to see you once a month, i had a lot of friends in school who were foster kids and none of them know where there parents were and some of their parents didn't even care about seeing them.  so in your place, i would try to get to know them a little better and make the best of the situation.  you don't have to like them, but hating them makes you angry and resentful, like i said earlier, and that isn't going to help you. plus you only have to see them till you're 18, after that you're considered an adult and you will see them only if you want to. good luck.

Answer 11

wow. I just completed my final adoption of my grandchild on 8-20. I hope my granddaughter doesn't grow up to hate her mom who is my daughter. I understand where it comes from though. If your parents didn't fight to get you back. If you are an older child and have a case worker could you maybe petition a judge to have your visits terminated telling them how much it upsets you?

I hope you have a decent home with the foster family. My heart goes out to you in this and I hope in the future you can forgive them and let go so you won't be holding on to the hate they've generated in you.

Answer 12

if they r as bad as u say then dont feel bad i would hate them 2 so i dont think so

Answer 13

i would deffenetley hate them for that because if they dont treat me right and leave me in a foster home

Answer 14

I think its up to you to choose if you like or dislike them at this time in your life but you shouldnt think that you will always hate them because as you grow up you may need them to answer some questions that only they can etc.

Don't rush into kicking them out of your life as this wouldnt be fair on them or you in the long run. Just go with the flow and take each meeting as it comes.

Answer 15

Hate is a word, not in my vocabulary much less in my Heart

You do not have to like your parents but have to accept their visits..

When you hate you only hurt yourself and you have been hurt enough.

Be civil when your parents show up. Some day you will be of age and

hopefully will not make the same mistakes they made and have a good life.

In the meantime, get as much education as you possibly can.

Once you are educated, you are liberated and can you so many things to make your life easier.

I wish you a good future.

Answer 16

Don't hate them because you would be demeaning yourself. Make it known that you wish to nothing further to do with them and get on with your life. You are your own person; make something of yourself and show the world that out of adversity you have made something really good.

  One day you may understand your mother's predicament. Make sure that it never happens to you.

Answer 17

You have every right to be angry, my friend. Every right. But you need to focus on the good in your life and that you are an intelligent and good human being that is going to do well. Start letting go of being angry by prayer or meditiation or sitting quiet. Practice imagining yourself very successful with all that you want in life and seeing yourself a happy soul. Hold on to this image and it will happen.

Know this--the anger will engulf you and destroy you if you let it. By letting go you are chosing your own personal success.

Answer 18

You do have the right to hate them if they have the resources to take care of you but choose to leave you in foster care. I don't think that that's okay.

Answer 19

people say u should always go back to family for everything but just becuz somebody is blood related doesnt mean their the rite person to always go back to for anything one of ur friends maybe better

my defenition of family

family are the people tht care about u and that are always ther for u wen u need them just becuz their ur own blood doesnt mean their the bst for u

id hate them to especially if my dad went off and had alot of kids and just left me

Answer 20

I'd say you have one HUGE reason to hate them- they landed you in foster care!  They failed to give you a normal life.  You have every right to hate them.  They should hate themselves for what they have done to their child!

Answer 21

they're fu*ked up you poor thing that is so sad,how do u like your foster parents?

Answer 22

your not a bad person ... how can you love people who you dont connect with ... its like meeting up with strangers who gave you up and now your supposed to spark up a love for them?

Dont fake it and dont force it! if you HAVE to meet with them then just take it as people you know ... no one will blame you for not being able to love them~

Good luck~