Is it bad to let your child cry himself to sleep? there is no other way i can get him to sleep though?

Question

that is the only way i can get him to sleep...i mean dont get me wrong, i will try my hardest to rock him for over 3 hours and he wont have anything to do with it, so i put him in the crib and shut the door, it isnt completely dark and it isnt completely quite, i have a small lamp and a sleep machine i put on for him, i kiss him goodnight, and i leave, he cries as soon as i step foot near the crib, but after about 30 minutes to an hour, hes out like a light,,i have watched him and i know he just goes to sleep, its not like he passes out from crying or anything like that. he is almost 19 months old and has never went to sleep on his own and has never slept through the night, he is on a very strict schedule and i know he is so so tired when it is that time, because he can barely keep his eyes open, but when it comes time to actually go to sleep, the only way he will is if he cries himself...is this really bad? if so tell me what else to do..the only thing doctors say is that he is fine, bla bla but i think there is more, no one will listen to me. everyone just thinks that i am whining about me not getting enough sleep, i could care less about that, i just need to know why he wont sleep...help

Answer 1

yes it's very normal, and he will have no scars emotionally from it. I have let my son cry it out and eventually my daughter too. My son was a good sleeper early on, and my daughter wasn't - she got up 1-2 times a night for the longest time, and I realized it was continuing cause I was letting it. That night I started the crying out method - it went just 2 days with her, and since then she has been sleeping through the night. When I put her down at night she sometimes cries, sometimes doesn't. A lot of times the crying comes from pure exhaustion. And it can be soothing. I read one time that babies can be stressed too, and the only way for them to release it is to cry.  By a week or so you will probably notice that he is doing much better - maybe even sleeping through the night, and getting used to soothing himself to sleep. Letting them cry it out is harder on us then it is on them. In the long run though, you will all be getting better sleep, and you will have a better sleeper as he ages too.   Good Luck . And oh - despite that I used the crying out method, both of my kids are just fine and very loving and nurturing.  I know some moms don't believe in the method of crying it out, but I could not put up with a kid getting up every night for years on end. I had one friend who didn't believe in it either - until she had her second kid, and wanted - needed more sleep. To this day she says her second child is a better sleeper.

Answer 2

this is very normal.  children learn to manipulate at a very young age.  after a while, when he discovers that he's not going to get his way, he will stop.  it is awful hard to go through because we love our kids so much.  sometimes it helps if you can read a short story (there's probably a book out there about bedtime out there somewhere) and maybe some soft music to help him relax.  you're doing the right thing.

Answer 3

I dont know if you stay home or not, but what I do is not let him take any naps. None. Zip. Nada. He falls at 7:45 like a ton of bricks every nights, and is up a 8am.

Answer 4

Well I dont agree with taking away his naps.  If he is used to having a good nap, taking it away will only make him cranky and overtired, which will make it even harder for you to put him to sleep.

So, you have to pull yourself away first.  Do you enjoy his needing you, because that may trigger his anxiety.  You said he has a strict schedule, so make one for bedtime.  Read to him while you rock him, then allow him to help you turn on his lamp and sleep machine (?).  Set him in his crib, he will freak but dont pick him back up.  Hug him a couple more times and let him know that its time to sleep and youll see him in the morning.  If he panics, give it 5mins and hug again and cozy him up....lenghten the time to 10mins, then 15 mins and by then he should be sleeping.  Every couple of nights you should lengthen the time that you go back and reassure him.  If you wait 5mins the first couple nights, give it 7-8 the next couple then 10-12 the next couple of nights.  He should learn to adapt to the schedule.  He absolutely should be falling asleep on his own by now, without hysterics.  As far as him waking at night, definately let him cry it out.  

Answer 5

sounds like he's crying for your attention. This is normal. It's fine if he cries himelf to sleep. Tuck him in, reassure him that you're near and  leave the room. He'll grow out of it.

Answer 6

My son is the same age.  Is your son really active most of the time?  He might be like mine!!

The best routine for us is to have an ACTIVE morning - go out and make sure he runs around and burns off a lot of energy - whether it be swimming, the playground, following you around while you do yardwork...just something.  Time car errands for right before naptime and hopefully the car will lull him to sleep enough to either nap in the car (if you have a cool/warm enough place like a garage or yard where you can sit there and observe while doing yard work, etc.), or be transferred to bed.

The afternoon nap helps with going to sleep at night with our son, because he doesn't get overtired.

Another thing I've found that just being left in a room with nothing to do seems to stress him out.  So for the afternoon nap he gets his lunch - usually a PBJ sandwich and a bottle of water in his crib (with me watching him secretly nearby to make sure he doesn't choke).  He usually falls asleep cry-free this way.

It's a bit unconventional, I know, but I can't handle hearing him cry for more than five minutes.  Think about how YOU fall asleep, and try to duplicate that for him (for example - falling into bed exhausted after a long day of work, or feeling sleepy after a big meal)  Good luck!

Answer 7

Personally, I don't believe in letting a child cry themselves to sleep, alone, ever!  I think that all of the stress hormones that must be released when a little one does this may also cause problems late on.  If you're sure that there's nothing physically wrong with him, like gas, having to pee and he had enough to eat and drink, have you tried laying down beside him to help calm him and perhaps talk him to sleep through some guided imagery (like close your eyes, lay still and quiet and think about the park/the beach/somewhere special and talk about calming things in those places, the blue sky, the puffy white clouds, the waves crashing on the shore) because it sounds like bedtime isn't a nice end to the day for you so I'm sure it's not for your son, so maybe you need to break old habits.

As for sleeping through the night, my son was nearly 3 before he did but is fine now.

Good luck,  sorting this out.  Remember to trust your instincts though as you know your son best and if you think something is wrong, keep questioning until you figure it out!

Answer 8

i feel bad for you but if your as nice and loving as your sound your baby is problem just fighting for you att like all baby's and he will have no side effects over it lol  parents just have to deal with it until they learn that it's bedtime but as a mother if you feel there is something wrong with him other than him just crying to get some attention keep taking him to different doctor eventually one will find something