Is it bad to say someone's engagement ring is "adorable"?

Question

A girl I met recently told me she just got engaged and showed me her engagement ring. I know she is young and not everyone can afford a sizable diamond, but I called it "adorable"... I don't know why it just slipped out! I think I made her and her mom feel bad. I grew up in an upper class family and have a considerable sized diamond myself, so maybe that's why I immediately judged it as cute and adorable, because it was. I didn't mean to be rude, but it's just tiny compared to the ones I'm used to seeing. I know that sounds horrible and I don't think I'm stuck up, I have just been blessed to have nice things in my life. I am not judging her either for her diamond, I know she was proud of it, that's why I feel so bad!

I feel terrible now! Would you be offended if someone said this to you?

Answer 1

Saying it adorable it's bad. It would only be bad if the girl acted like she was affended. Don't beat yourself up over it. You didn't say it to be disrespectful so it's ok.

Answer 2

Yes, you were rude. "Adorable" is a descriptive word usually given to a puppy or baby or cute toy. And, by the way, the size of the diamond doesn't have any relevance to the beauty or value of it. You sound very aware of money, class and outward displays of what you deem to be WORTH. Couldn't you have just said "Congratulations! How wonderful!" and let it go at that. I can almost hear your "meow". You say you weren't judging in one line and then say you were judging in another. Having MONEY isn't the key to being blessed. Having love and manners and a good heart ARE. Time to re-assess just where you are in life and grow up. Come back in 20 years and see whose marriage has lasted. That is where the true VALUE of the love will be demonstrated.

Answer 3

I would be very annoyed and think you were a stuck up witch. And to be honest from what you have said, i think i would be right. You should feel bad.

Just because your diamond is bigger, do you think you will have a happier marriage? no didn't think so.

Answer 4

No I dont think she should take it too personal. Adorable is a compliment no matter what the object is. Maybe another word may have pleased her more, but you gave an honest opinion. Its not bad, just let it go, and im sure she'll be fine. She knows what she can afford, and should accept that.Im sure its a pretty ring, that fits her lifestyle.  Dont stress over it! ;)

Answer 5

Did she seem offended? Adorable isn't necessarily a bad thing to say, as long as you didn't say, wow, it is really small.

Answer 6

If someone said that to me (I have a very modest wedding ring with 8 tiny diamonds flanking an opal) I would be confused but not exactly offended. I would probably just wave it off at the moment, but spend the rest of the day wondering what they meant by that.

As for your situation, it might have just been a slip of the tongue. It doesn't necessarily mean you're a horrible person, especially if you didn't say that to be *intentionally* snippy and spiteful. And I fully believe you didn't intend to hurt her feelings.

A good thing to do would be to try and brag on her ring while you and her are in a group of other people, if you can arrange that.

"Yeah, Karen just got engaged. Oh, did you see her ring? It's so beautiful!" Or say gorgeous or awesome or something like that, and don't bring up your own.

Answer 7

well i would be somewhat offended.  i understand what you mean too. Just apologize to her but don't say what you told us.  Simply state that adorable came out of your mouth and you did not mean to say it.  Apologize and let her know that she is a good friend of yours and you don't want to lose the friendship because of your mistake.  its a good thing you feel bad though since i live in a upper class neighborhood and even though im upper middle class or lower rich, ive had friends who were s****. about things like that too and they kind of looked down upon me once in a while so at least you understand how she feels.  just be careful of what you say around her.  and let her know that if you ever make her feel bad just let me know  

Answer 8

Though I can see where she might be a little put out, but it also depends on the ring. Some rings have a "cuter" design than others.

But, she should get over it. It's not like you sneered and said, "Oh. Is THAT all?"

You just met this girl. If you're desperate in your want to try to make things a little better, the next time you see her, ask to see her ring again and compliment the design. "It looks like the setting is hugging the diamond!", "The diamond's so sparkly it looks like it's winking!" or something like that will clarify what you meant by "adorable", even if that isn't what you meant at the time. Or, if the setting doesn't lend itself to being cutesy, you can say something like, "You have such dainty hands!" That might also "explain" the initial "adorable" comment.

You could also call someone else over to see the ring (as long as they know the score and that you're a little embarrassed by having said "adorable") to help you compliment it. Compliment the obvious quality of the diamond, the setting, how it looks on her hand, but don't go overboard and gush about it for ten minutes. Just pick something meaningful for you to say about it that might take the initial sting out of "adorable", if you see that there might have been a sting.  

Answer 9

I would be offended if anyone called me or any of my things "adorable."  It just seems so childish.  Maybe next time you see her you can make sure to say something nice or ask how the wedding plans are coming and actually act interested!  I'm sorry but it does seem that you think you are better than this person.  

Answer 10

I wouldn't be offended, but there are different kinds of pple in this world who all have different ways of taking things

Answer 11

I think she was offended because she knows yours is bigger.. had yours been around the same size, she most likely wouldn't have been as offended.  I don't think its a horrible thing that you did, I just think she doesn't know how to take it.  If I had a .50 carat diamond and someone who had a 2 carat called mine "adorable" I would most likely be offended too, but I would get over it fairly quickly.  

Answer 12

She may have actually enjoyed the complement.  Don't fret over it.  Practice saying "lovely."  Or, oooooh!  Niiiice!

And, you were judging her for her diamond.  Like cute and cuddly.  

Answer 13

Who knows, maybe she is so loved up and in love with her ring that she never even realised what you said.