Is it being rude to have your wedding 6 weeks before your sister?

Question

My sister had organised her wedding first but due to family being around at Christmas we decided that we should have a Christmas wedding while all my fiances family are around as most of them live interstate and we only get to see them once a year at Christmas.

Answer 1

your family may think its rude but it sounds to me like you have a very good explanation as to why you want to do it. Its not just your family you have to think of now. You have to take your fiances family into account too. I would explain it to her and see if she understands and then make your final decision based on that.  

Answer 2

you need to talk to your sister about this..

I would not like it at all myself..

and just as side note... most people don't like christmas weddings, the holidays can be crazy enough. I know people say it is their wedding and they can do what they want..but please be kind to the guest!

Answer 3

Do what you and your fiancee want to do.

My husband and I were planning a December 08 wedding and my sister's is in Sept. 08.

We realized the big fancy wedding wasn't us. We moved our wedding to May 08 and had a very small private ceremony. We just had a backyard reception (August 08).

All of this is before my sister's. My maid of honor and I made it clear that these were my days and to honor that. And, when it is her day it will be here day.

Your sister doesn't have to have months or weeks of attention. You deserve to have what you want to have.

Good luck!

Answer 4

while I am usually the first to say that just because your getting married doesnt make you intitled to control the world around you, in this case, you are cutting it pretty close to your sisters wedding which is a bit rude.  I mean I get your point about relatives being in town and such, but fi you only get to see them once a year, have a wedding will give reason for them to come and visit so you can see them again.  it would be different if it was 6 weeks after your sisters already planned date, but 6 weeks before looks like your trying to beat her to the alter or something.  

Answer 5

My mom & dad had their wedding scheduled... and my uncle decided to get married the month before them (despite getting engaged after them)... it's over 35 years later and it STILL comes up in conversation!!!

I'd suggest waiting until after their wedding if it's going to be that close.  Holiday weddings are tough, too, because people tend to feel like they got "robbed" of their holiday time.  It's really a convenience for you - to have the wedding over the holidays - not your guests.

Answer 6

If she was engaged first, it would be nicer to let her have her wedding first.

Answer 7

Don't you want people to remember your wedding?

With it being only 6 weeks before your sisters unfortunately people will only talk about your wedding for 6 weeks as then they will be talking about your sisters wedding.

There is no rush to get married wait until the next Christmas. Also that way people won't compare your wedding to your sisters.

Answer 8

If you are gonn have it that close then go dual wedding :) JEEEZ LUIIZZ

talk about saving money!!!

If not, then yes yes yes.  You both should be involved with each others, and this will detract from that..

in my unprofessional opinion

Answer 9

I think I would get upset if I was your sister.

You can wait- there is nothing wrong with that. And I'm sure you can gather the family together for your event.

Answer 10

so why not get married next year and give your sister a little respect.

  I think you and your partner would destroy the moment and are not even considering your sisters'  as well as the rest of your family's feelings. Waaaaaay immature.

Answer 11

Actually it wouldn't be very nice.

Best for your families, and all around if you plan it at least three months apart.

Answer 12

yeah i personally think so. i'd be pretty upset if i was your sister

Answer 13

your sister and both your families may think it is great, charming, wonderful.  then you do what you please.  

now i will tell you what may also  happen if you announce this.  many people HATE weddings at christmas and you may be assuming too much, way too much to think that his family would have any interest in traveling, buying presents at an insanely busy time of year and then have to spend extra time and money at a wedding of yours.  many churches wont even do christmas weddings.  too busy of a time.  

you are also assuming they would not come at another time, say, the year after  your sisters wedding in a spring month, because they only come at christmas.  if you gave them enough notice they probably would come.  and appreicate it is at a time of year that is not expensive and crazy.  

your sister may not mind that you right before her long planned wedding are proposing, at christmas, right in the middle of her showers and such, right at the holidays, to make everyone stop what they are doing and attend and pay attention to your wedding.  this may be fine with her.  but for most people it would be devastating.  

wait until after  your sister is married to set a wedding date.  i know many many families who are pleased to do one wedding a year.  not one wedding a month.  you would probably do both of you a huge disservice and upset both your families if you try to do it your way.  then you and she can both have your own wedding seasons.  much better.  

Answer 14

It would be super if you and your sister could agree to have a double wedding!  People would really appreciate not having to travel twice. And it would be really memorable!

If you cant agree to do that, then you should really hold off until Christmas next year.

Answer 15

ur sister may find it rude thinking all the prep tiome should be for her. its a big thing. but ur honestly doing it to benifit ur fiance and ur own family. u want the wedding to b at a convient time and everyone will b there, i think tht its okay . u shud tlk to ur siter about how she feels tho, especially if u guys are close

Answer 16

Do what you feel comfortable with! I would talk to her first and see how she feels about it!

Answer 17

Who's baby is due first?

Answer 18

I don't think it is but maybe you should talk to her and find out how she feels about it.  You have a good, valid reason for having yours around Christmas.  Maybe she will understand and not be selfish about it.  Congrats!!!

Answer 19

I would be pretty upset.  My future sister-in-law decided to get married 5 days before our wedding.  We had been planning for over a year, she announces three weeks before the wedding that she's pregnant, getting married right before us, and could he come, but not me.  If she's been planning it for awhile, she'll probably feel like you are stealing her thunder to piggyback your wedding on hers, especially since yours will be first.  You can talk to her, but don't be surprised if she's very upset by the idea.  If you want to have a Christmas wedding, do it next year.

Answer 20

u should wait for a while, that way u guys will have fun for a longer time and both of u will get enough attention

Answer 21

em i think it is a tad inconsiderate but your not doing it for selfish reasons. So i think the family will come to the wedding no matter when you have it. You should organise your wedding whenever you want it not around other people. But if thats the only option your sister should understand.

Answer 22

talk to her about it.  But dont bring it up like "we're doing this hope it's fine with you" ask her if it bothers her. tell her to be honest and make sure she realizes that you are more than willing to go a different route if she is uncomfortable with it.  You know your sister, you should be able to tell if she says "yes it's fine" and doesn't really mean it.  So don't just listen to the words, read between the lines a bit too.

Good luck. and congrats on the engagement

Answer 23

I really think you need to talk to your sister. I would be offended if I was your sister and you didn't talk to me but if you came to me first and explained I would agree with you. That is just what my reaction would be.

A bride wants to feel special and she is also usually putting a lot of time and effort into her wedding the weeks leading up to it. With yours 6 weeks before that will cause your side of the family to have to divide time between the two. I am sure your mom would like to help you and your sister and that will be very hard but can be done.

Be open with your sister and good luck.

Answer 24

If I were your sister I would be pissed if you did that to me.  You should definitely not do that to her.  If you have to wait til next Christmas.  It will help your parents out to not have to pay for 2 wedding right around the same time and you and your sister would have both had your on spot light.  Some people might even not attend your sisters because not even 2 months before they attended yours.  Thank of her feelings...don't do it!

Answer 25

You should talk to your sister and see what her opinion is before making a decision. And tell her upfront that you will abide by her wishes, but that you want to explain the situation before she makes any comments.