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Is it better for a kid to grow up with no father or with a violent, criminal father?

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And in which scenario is the kid more likely to grow up to be violent himself / herself?

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  1. Come on now, this is like a 'would you rather be garrotted or electrocuted' question. Why the narrow definitions?  It's always better to have a good father, but better to have no father if he is simply a violent criminal.


  2. Both has its pluses and minuses but I'd say no father.

  3. no father! having said that if the kid has a loving father but a violent,criminal mother then it would be the same answer.no mother.i'm not trying to defend men,as i know they are far more likely to be criminals but it can happen the other way round.

  4. no father, then the kid can dream of how wonderful his father is/was. Having to deal with a violent father would influence his life in a bad way.

  5. This is the day in day out excuse used in family courts to deny fathers access to their children based on nothing but mere allegations.

  6. Given that children tend to pattern themselves on the available role models, violent, criminal fathers are a bad deal for the child, and for the community.

    A good, caring father is a treasure in the heart of a family.

    A violent, selfish criminal is not somebody *anyone* needs in their lives, let alone a child.

    Cheers :-)

  7. Considering I have encountered both sides.

    I Would prefer a question that was in support of children not someones agenda to prove that kids are better with out fathers.

    Try The word parent there. Belive me, women arent the bastions of morality. Its both fantasy and folly to think this.

    More people like to think their self identified grup is so good, or that they are, in truth it is usually more that they are prepared to empathise there than anywhere else.

    On the kid - there are many questions as to whether it is better or not. And many of these questions relate to both parents - and I suspect that the failings are with both parents , the diffrences in the choices may be little. One parent may be violent, the other may be doing all the prompting and choosing of the violence ....

    For example is only becoming violent when he tries to escape an onslaught of her arguing? Or is always the instigator? Or is it that he has a criminal past and does amature boxing and she is now bored with the relationship? Im using some simple terms here. As in Im trying ot point out that the defining points criminal and violent mean very little, unless you know the ins and outs of the story.

    Im also trying ot point out that both parents made this mess - and both are responsible beyond measure - so the answer to the question may not so simple and straight forward.

    Perhaps the child may do better to be taken from it all and be given to foster carers ....

    I dont envy any one in the position to be making this choice. I dont envy any one that needs to confront and learn of themselves and the flaws they may need to address before making the choice to split a truely good one.

    Edit - you may think my first point is 'paranoia' if you wish.

  8. no father

  9. no father! just because they have no father doesnt mean they will have no male role model. most women have fathers, brothers, uncles or male friends who could have a positive impact on a child.

    A violent father will mentally abuse a child as well as physically and this can leave them scarred for life. Just because a child grows up with a violent father doesnt necassarily mean they inturn will be violent. they may go down the other route of being the complete opposite when they are older so they couldnt be more different from their dad if they tried!

    however, as a nursery manager i encountered a child who was lovely, polite friendly helpful, etc etc a teachers dream, but then over the course of a week he became violent anti social, cheeky, then he would cry and become withdrawn. I asked his mum to come in for a meeting and it turned out that his dad had suddenly become violent and had attacked his mum infront of him and his younger brother, injuring his mum and left her requiring hospital care and the police were called.

    she didnt know what to do , so with our help we got her a new flat, a restraining order on her husband, and all the support she needed from as many organistions as we could contact. the child improved, his aggression lessened and he became that lovely boy again, but we soon learnt dad had come back just by the change in his behaviour again.

    so i would say no father is far far better than a violent. every child has the right to grow up feeling safe, secure loved and happy, not have all the good feelings beaten out of them or feel scared because mummy is being attacked again and again.

  10. it all depends on how the child react .

    but i think it would be best if the child had no father

    so that when he grows up he may say to himself

    i am not gunna be anything like my father

    i am going to be there for my kids

    then again he may act the say way if his father was a  criminal  ..

  11. Which do you think. He/she will more likely be violent with a violent parent as will believe that's how problems are solved.

  12. The answer should be clear... No father is wayyyy better than a violent father!!

  13. No father is better than a bad one. Families come in all shapes and sizes, you can have a single parent and be perfectly happy or have a large family.

  14. The question is typical of American women continually painting men as bad.

    Where are the Yahoo Answers questions:

    "Is it better for a kid to grow up with no mother or with a violent, criminal mother?"

  15. No father is better than any father if they are incapable of being a father, regardless of whether they are violent or not. If a father is incapable of showing love to a child, which is really all it needs then the child is better off without him. (or her if it's the mother).

  16. No father, because the child could at least have someone else as a positive male role model (an uncle, etc).  

    Chances are the kid will become more violent if exposed to the violent father, b/c that becomes the norm.  The violent criminal father is also at risk for hurting the child. We don't know if this father is violent towards his kids or just other people.

    There might be some effects of having no father, but if you wanted to know which is better..I choose no father.

  17. it would be better with out the dad, they'll end up violent and learn stuff from there dad which they'll think is normall and the right way to behave! x

  18. No father definitely!!

  19. Not all 'criminals' are violent...

    My Dad was in prison when i was a child, I used to go & visit him & I turned out okay!

    I think going into prison actually made me not want any of those things for my children so stayed in school & now have a stable family life, good job & a well rounded 5yr old!!!

  20. I grew up with a violent father and I would have preferred no father-I thought about it every time he beat the crud out of my brothers and myself. He was and still is an upstanding member of his community and still ministers to the sick and needy and preaches regularly in the pulpit. It's amazing how caring some people can be outside their home and how vicious they are once they close the door to their house and show their "love" towards their family.

    I know I have the capacity for violence but have made a point not to have children and take any chances that I'd turn out like my father. I have no idea what my brothers do to their kids-but I hope for the best as they agree that what my father did to us was dreadful. But you never know-do you? If you've grown up with violence it is very difficult to overcome.

  21. I find it quite hilarious that so many people are saying no father, yet violent, criminal mothers who are pregnant are able to give birth and raise their child IN PRISON.

    And no one bats an eyelid.

    Tch.

  22. No father.

    Think about it.

    Would you want the child to LEARN more "hateful" things from the Violent Father?

  23. No father... No question

    Maj

  24. No father would be better.

    And whose to say that a great male figure wont enter the childs life at some point?

    Children learn by example. What would a child be learning about men if the only male role model is a violent, criminal father. What would a child be learning about women, and how to treat them,  from those women in this violent criminals life?

  25. Is it better for a kid to grow up without a mother or to grow up with a drug addicted prostitute for a mother?  

    And in which scenario is the kid more likely to grow up to be a drug addicted prostitute or drug dealer and criminal?

    We get your point, feminists want us all to believe that fathers are unnecessary.

  26. You know the answer is its a no brain-er.
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