Question:

Is it better if i finally stand up for myself and finally say no to things?

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All my life even though it has not been that long...I am only 20...but anytime someone has asked something of me or asked me to do something even if i don't have the time or money i will always do it for them, what i want to know is should i finally put my foot down and start to say no before i get hurt or something else should happen?

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Practice it in the mirror.

"No"

"No"

"No"

You don't have to even give a reason, just "Sorry I can't" or "No" works.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Of course you should unless it's something you really want to do.Never do anything that makes uncomfortable or unhappy.Stand up for your self, no one else will.
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People will walk all over you if you let them.
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Saying yes to people all the time "trains" them into thinking your feelings and responsibilities do not matter, so they will always keep asking and you will keep doing. Be assertive, its the only way to live.
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To say yes to everything - you need counseling to find out why you are like this. Then work on it. Yes you do need to say no once in a while. But there is more here.
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Get a backbone and say no you can't help everyone. You have to look out for you then only do what you can for everyone else.
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We have something in common, I am the same way. I have always said yes to everything, now I am beginning to say no and people are acting as if it is a crime.

Start now!!! Please yourself and stop pleasing others.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
if you always agree to do things for people, they will take advantage of you.. It is great that you want to help, but you have to set boundaries..you will start to regret it, but it sounds like you already are...
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You need to stop doing things that you don't want to. There is nothing wrong with saying NO. I use to be that way for along time. Then I learned that I could not keep putting myself out like that.People really didn't appreciate my help in the end. If I could and wanted to do something I would or will. But, I learned not to let people use and take advantage of me. Good luck, and take a stand.
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you should have started a long time ago. It's great to do a favor for somone and help out but alot of people will take advantage of you.
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We all have options in life and if you choose to be the "cant say no person" you will not have a life of your own.
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Shed yourself of the Eager to Please Disease...

You are only one person and you deserve to enjoy life and be happy.
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Absolutely, you need to learn to say NO!
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I spent many years being every ones carpet too. I didn't like it. On top of the fact that I did favors I didn't care to do when I needed something done for me no one was around all of a sudden. The best thing I could tell you is do for others as you feel comfortable doing. If you get only one day a week to rest and your friend asks you to take him somewhere say I can't. If someone asks to borrow $10 and that is your lunch money again, say no. Doing things for others is great as long as there is no advantage being taken. When a person gets use to you resolving their situations it becomes your job. You need to be happy in order to make others happy and even then you have to somehow get fulfillment in making them happy.
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I NEVER do anything that goes against my better judgment - if I do not have the time, money, want or need to do anything, I do not do it.  I have even told my boss NO on more than one occasion, but of course with respect.  Saying NO does not mean saying no in a nasty or disrespectful way - it just means declining the invitation.

I strongly feel that you end up being way more respected if you have that respect for yourself too - nobody respects a "yes" man - they just take advantage of them instead.
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
before you do that, identify your personality type. Use the enneagram. check it out on the web. Understand yourself and why you do the things that you do and then you will be able to work from there.
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Absolutely learn to say no! Get counseling to help you out. I'm getting counseling partially for this reason and it's extremely liberating. Good luck!
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Your probably scared of hurting your friends & family.

But you don't realize you may be hurting them instead of helping them.

They'll assume they can rely on you for anything, and know you'll always be there. And they may take advantage of you.

I'm sure they'll respect you more if you stand up for your self.
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yes you should stop being a people pleaser and do what makes you happy... you will be a much better person for it.. email if you have any questions about people pleasing.. I used to be one
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Yes, honey, you need to learn how to say NO to people. It's easy once you get the hang of it. You don't have to do everything for everybody.
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You have a low self-esteem and have spent your life trying to win the love and approval of others. Finally you have realized that people see you as easy to manipulate and use and there really isn't any satisfaction for yourself in letting people use you and by doing so it only makes you feel even more unloved.

Yes! it's time to say NO and become self confident and strong. Believe it or not, people like and respect a strong woman who doesn't allow people to use her as a door matt. Number one rule....never loan money to or spend your money on your so called friends. A true friend would never ask you to do this or would want you to spend your money on her/him. It's time to weed out the users in your life. At first the new and better you may feel you are all alone, but you will make new friends and your life will be so much better.

Promise your self....I will NOT give or loan money to other people. I will NOT buy people things so they will like me. Exceptions are: Birthday and holidays and I will only spend what I feel I can easily afford. If someone ask me to do something for them and I don't want to do it, then I will say NO. If there is something they want me to do and I would enjoy doing it, but I really don't have the time, then I will say NO.

You will have to be really strong and work hard to learn how to say no, but with practice you will be able to say no and instead of feeling guilty about it, you will feel proud.

Good luck with your new and improved life.
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If you like being a doormat keep doing it, otherwise say no.
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It is entirely up to you. It is your right to say no if you don't want to do anything. It is time you stand up and do what you want for a change.
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Always best to stand your ground. If you lay down and say "I'm a doormat" don't be surprised when people walk all over you.

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