Is it better to look at someone in the eyes all the way through a conversation?

Question

Whenever I have a conversation with anyone I don't know very well, i.e. teacher, parent of a friend, I don't know whether to look them in the eye all the way through the conversation, or glance away from time to time. I know that if you glance away it's a bit rude and seems like you aren't listening, I know that if someone looks me in the eye all the way through though, it's as if they're staring intently at my eyes.

What's the most polite thing to do/ what would you prefer someone to do in a conversation?

Answer 1

i think it is better to look at the person as much as you can but when i do that to my scince thecher at parents evening he starts smiling or/and laughing

Answer 2

If it's a conversation that is lasting more than a minute or two, then it's natural to not look the person in the eyes the whole time.  Most people look away for a brief second here and there to collect their thoughts while they are talking or listening and looking the other person in the eyes the remaining 95% of the time.  

If they do it anywhere near half of the conversation or more, the other person can view that as them being rude, lying, or really nervous.

Answer 3

You should have good eye contact but you must be able to differentiate between looking at someone in the eye and staring! That is what is important.  If for example it is with your child's teacher then on meeting you normally would shake hands or give some sort of greeting at this time it certainly when you would look him/herstraight in the eye and probably smile.  You probably are worrying about it too much because you should not really be conscious of doing it. With the teacher during the meeting if the child is with you, you would also when referring to the child probably be looking towards him/her and the teacher would have class work she was showing you that you would be looking down at.  Probably you do just fine but if you think you don't try practising at a mirror. I do know where you are coming from but I honestly think usually it is the person listening that is often at fault.  There's nothing worse that speaking to someone and you see they are obviously distracted or are looking at someone else.  Concentrate more that you are not doing this........if you aren't then I don't think there is much wrong with your eye contact.

Answer 4

Blink and concentrate on them, smile and nod occasionally, then look down at your papers every now and then.  It's distracting when people look away constantly and it gives the perception of not being in the conversation.

Answer 5

Yes, look away sometime.

Answer 6

you can glance away a few times, i've never found that rude...i get freaked out if someone stares at me the whole time...

Answer 7

Actually I-think you should just do what you normally do-when talking to such people.

(what ever  you  are comfortable with!)

Answer 8

that is kind of uncomfortable-its not rude to look away-just relax-people know when your into the conversation-looking away from time to time is good-no harm in it at all

Answer 9

You start by looking into their eyes and then you sort of focus out on the whole face.....

A few years ago at a Parents night, my daughters teacher had a huge mole on her face  with a couple of hairs sticking out, blimey that night I just focused on her eyes believe me.

I was so relieved when I went to her  next teacher, but not for long as this teacher had a very bad speech impediment and kept spitting into my coffee....

Thing is,  to concentrate very hard on what is being said, not always so easy though.  Good luck.

Answer 10

I guess it polite to look someone in the eyes through a conversation but i am not good at that. I always look down when someone is talking to me anything but looking them directley in the face.

Answer 11

If you are talking to an attractive woman (young or otherwise it is very difficult to keep eyes on face if 38c is pointing at you. I know it is polite not to stare so look elswhere from time to time.  ;-))

Answer 12

No I think that's a bit intense!

Answer 13

Not in the eyes all the way through the conversation, please.  That's too intense.  Sure, make eye contact from time to time, but it's OK to look at my face, too, and not focused only on my eyes.

Answer 14

To me, the polite thing to do is to look someone in the eye during a conversation.  If I find I can't look them in the eye, I focus my eyes to look at a spot just above their eyes.  It still looks like I'm staring intently at them.

Answer 15

i like to make eye contact frequently but not throughout whole conv. i dont like others looking at my eyes throughout either. it makes me nervous.

Answer 16

well it depends its kinda creepy if someone looked me in the eye for like a minute or 2 straight,but if you make some eye contact it's also good if you make no eye contact the person might feel as if you are not rely interested in what they have to say or they  might think your ignoring them,

so a little bit of both =),

I hope i helped!

Answer 17

Staring straight into a person's face for more than maybe 15 seconds at a time is unnatural for the starer and uncomfortable for the one stared at.  Glance past your partner's face from time to time, but don't let your attention be taken away by what you see.

Answer 18

Anyone staring at any one part of me feels a little awkward. But I do like to feel like I have their attention. Maybe glance at the hair or chin or nod your head a little so that the attention is obviously on the person talking but not a stare!

Good Question!

Answer 19

In North American culture, it's generally considered proper to maintain eye contact when talking with someone.  

In some other cultures (I think), it is considered rude to look an authority figure (e.g. a teacher or parent) in the eye if they are talking to you.  It's taken as though you are challenging them.  That's what I've been told, anyway.

Answer 20

Hardly not looking at them and staring intensely into their eyes are both too extreme. When speaking to someone formally, it's best to take a balanced approach between maintaining eye contant, but glancing away every now and again, thats only natural not rude! :)

Answer 21

you should just look occasionally at their eyes its just too weird/off putting to have someone staring right into your eyes all the time.

Answer 22

Natural eye contact isn't constant.  If someone has abnormal eye contact you will feel uneasy.

Chill out and try to forget the eye contact thing.  If someone is giving you constant eye contact and you don't like it just look at the bridge of their nose until they behave.